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Unwittingly, it comes to the middle of the year, which is the month of our beautiful July. Everything's starting good, so much laughs and jokes, you and me have so many wonderful days starting from the beginning of the month. Life's never a smooth journey, there have to be ups and downs in life, so it's said to be brilliant.

When things are good, we'll certainly enjoy ourselves. But when things are bad, we shouldn't just be upset. We have to be stronger, reason very clearly, not to make any wrong.

Why had I spoken that from my stupid mouth? I don't know what got into me to say a thing like that to the rascals. I had absolutely no intention of bothering them, but it just came out.

Man... I think I was so weird!!! I was just... acting unlike myself, it's not me!

July, it's finally July. I've so many things to be done in this month. I need to start doing my revision so that I'd be well prepared for the BIG exam, I need to finish at least two OR three story books so that I'd improve my writing, I want to start trying other things which I was afraid of doing in the past, I want to start painting my life from now.

And yes, why do You created stupid people?


12:31 PM

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Let me start this with a question: why! are the Indians bad egg?

(I'm not aiming at all the Indians in the world and I’ve no racial discrimination against Indians.) You know what, I'm not a person who like to start a fight OR a quarrel with anybody without any reasons, because I don't think it's needed. Using up my saliva to scold a rascal is totally the stupiest way to do! If you don't bother me, you'll be alright; if you bother me, you'll probably be safe; if you bother me when I'm on the height of anger, you'll leave your lung behind!

I'm really mad with someone today! (Well, she doesn't know I was in the mood of tired and sleepy.) I was sending six OR seven dictionaries to my teacher's backseat with another Indian girl, following my teacher to her car. A bad egg was followed behind her, the Indian girl and started to talk to her all the way to the car, speaking Tamil all the time.

So I wasn't happy with their accent which I’ll never understand in my life after looking up the dictionary for an hour for the tough vocabulary paper. At about 1.00 afternoon, looking at the dizzy words was easy enough to make me feel sleepy. My mood changed from happy to moody. All of a sudden, I didn't know what happened, the bad egg knocked my head, TWICE without appologizing. As soon as she did that, I stared at her, showing a loathing face, never said a word. How could she do that, it's painful! She said, 'She asks me to do it!' And smile to me. 'Rubbish! Am I so close with you? I don’t want to play you girls.' I'm sure you'll say, what's the matter for a girl to knock you head? Well, the problem is, she does more than that without knowing she's done many bads to many people.

I was very angry with her action at once, but I didn't scold her. She'd be scared if I did so. I came back to my class and sat on my seat, teacher wasn't in, I looked at her, sharply. Listening to her continuous stream of empty chatter really tested my patience. At that moment, I couldn't think of how I was going to do if I didn't walk away, so I went to toilet. Just when I was about leaving, I saw my friend coming and I was told there're many people in the toilet, then I went back and waited, for some minutes. The longer I listened to her, the higher the rate I felt angry. But I knew I'd to control myself.

Then it was time when everybody going home, but I'd to stay back school for colouring and drawing work for my drama. As soon as I went down to my school hall, a little incident happened, it's a thing to do with some Indian rascals. This time, no one knocked my head again, no more Indian girls, but five Indian boys. They were playing flour or something, I don't know, it's like just had a war next to my class. And there's egg cracked on my friend's desk. It's nothing to do with me, of course, it's not my desk, not my class, and my friend felt disappointed with their action. I was feeling bad, I was just knocked by someone, and many unhappy things had been happening recently, quarrels, my friend was bullied, my friend is no more good friend with the other one, you know, the pressure, the strains, too many things came together at the same time.

At last, I couldn't bear of anything that happened next anymore, I burst into into a quarrel with them with my high tone of voice, 'WHO DID THIS? PLEASE CLEAN IT!' Just then I heard a few voices confusingly, 'I don't know, don't ask me.' 'Do you think I did that?' 'Is this your class? It's none of your business about that. Go away!' Then I could say nothing, before I went down to the hall, I asked a friend whom I've known since my primary school, an Indian guy from their group. He said, 'The Malay guys, I'm not sure, there was too confused to see who did it.' Then I just went down very agrily, black look.

I don't know what happened to me lately, it was just very stupid to argue with someone, especially the rascals. I'm just losing my right senses after listening to so many unhappy things from my friends, and I find myself changing, bad temper, full of anger and resentment. I'd better go and get some rest and some peace music to remain calm.

God, why do You creat stupid people?


6:04 PM

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"She... got pregnant..."


- I don't know what to say as all I can say is 'wow.' -

I took a few minutes to think about that words that I heard from my friend. A girl from my school got pregnant by her boyfriend. I'm honestly grieved to hear about that because she's only 15 now.

As far as I know, she's a Malay girl who's studying in Form 3 and her boyfriend got her pregnant. I was quite surprised when someone told me that a girl in my school had had sex with her boyfriend at first though the worse was to follow, she... got pregnant. Another friend of mine also told me that she doesn't even know where the boy lives and his age. She only knows about his name and he's a employee. How would she do a thing like that so shameful without knowing the guy completely, if she knows, that's still forbidden!

She was caught pregnancy when a teacher touched her stomach! Last Friday, her mother came to the school and cried, sobbing the teacher what she had done wrong to her daughter. Today at the assembly, my counselor teacher just told all the students to be awared, not to simply nod when someone demands for something especially the girls.

Why? Why? Why?

I really don't understand. I thought it was quite normal when everytime there were talks about that issue in school, but when it really happens in my school, I was astonished! I really can't imagine that a girl's willing to take off her shirts and... And at last, the guy ran away! Uh... This is so sad...

She...'s in the hospital now, waiting for delivery. Her future won't be any good. This is the first time ever to have this happened in my school! The reputation of the school will be affected, no doubt.


6:13 PM

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come to me.


I dreamed a dream. I met a friend. I listened a song.
I just couldn't forget about it.


9:33 PM

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back to school.

Results are coming back. I'm coughing harder. Can't say even a word of them.

6:33 PM

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