The world was a sad sad place today,
full of tiredness and ickyness and ahhh,
I havnt hung out with simon,
even though i promised him and rachel we would all chill
but it was destroyed,..
i really like sweet tea, its quite delicious..
On other hands
George exploded my mind with his piece of shit talking
he is a worthless bag of vomit,
but its ok cuz he will never know sadly,im to much of a nice person.
Jesus has cool sunglasses, i saw a picture of him with sunglasses on one of those crappy teenage jesus info pamphlets that tried to win them over with crappy teenagy jesus stuff.
People dont know teenagers these days
But they have lost sight of Jesus to
School is tomorrow its gonna be another week of depressing bashing,mutilation,lack of sleep,possibly nyquil and alot of vitamins,its really gonna suck hearing mrs.Taylor talk about outlines and lectures that take all period long to complete,
The homework was supposed to be finished a month ago
shes collecting it tomorrow
i wonder if she knows about the mexicans in the back of the room snickering at her in spanish,
I wish i knew spanish
:(
buuuut yhea i will probably never learn it
EPIC FAIL last time
maby ill try french or maby
nothing
Cant get my hopes up,
Why did panic at the disco take the ! sign out of their band name, its kind of annoying to fix on itunes..
Random things hahahaha snails,
but besides the horridness of today brianna,Rachel and i went to pet barn and there was a turtle in a huge water tank that followed us around
i thought it was going to bite me everytime its head surfaced i was on edge the whooollle time hahahha
These smilies are cool!
We also went to Mcdonalds which is stationed next to a morgue its really funny if you think about it.
But it also makes me want to vomit...
The exiting adventure was left of with a trail of horror and running away we were so tired from playing this clown game seriously for like 4 hours hahahaha
heres the link
hope it dosnt kill you like it killed me :(
http://www.dragongamez.com/deathwalker.htm

well im done i think im going to sleep lol
-Meaghan

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Ok so church was pretty epic
they played a song "breath into me" by RED and i hecka exploded because they were doing a drama to it and IT WAS MY IDEA oh my jesus i dont know how they found it apperently they were a popular band i diddnt know that ahahhahaha it kinda made me angry cause i was planning on using that in an own play and now its a fail how sad, how sad,
So Kyle went to church so did kelly, Kyle is one of those headstrong kids who dont like religion but i really think pj changed him or thats what im hoping because his curly hair is like that sue girl or whatever the fuck her name is...
But i guess the own satisfation was i diddnt have such a personal journey but that was ok,
Kyle said he didnt want to talk about his past because he dosnt like it
Rachel and I do understand that, but we are hoping he will express one day,
Rachel and I have had horrible pasts like fdfjksj its horrible i like to lol at it now but then i really thought i was crazy because i couldnt think straight and i still have those feelins like nothing is real nothing is real and before i used to hecka be a junkie on anything i could get my hands on and slit open my wrists a million and one fucking times, but
i think somehow im better but i still have alot of those feelings
Sometimes i still think Demons are speaking to me
brething my words and telling me filth,
it was a horrible journey
and t he battle isnt even beginning
Kyle must have a huge war going on in his head
i dont think he is a roman soldier yet
but in the future he will be one
as long as he keeps his fugz cousin away from Rachel because she hecka puts her down,
down to the ground with her mouse teeth and whatever lolol,
Seriously though he will stomp on old grannies or something and we will lol in joy,
I hope otep plays where i live
because that would be nifty
or if hatebreed played
apperently kyle went to the devil wears prada show at the church rachel and i were there but we probly dont remember him because we diddnt know him
lol Brianna is in a mental facility
and George wont be bugging us for quite some time
my sleep will be restless but at least cleaner
i wont wake up to george shuving razors in my face and trying to kill himself with my cool flute tie,
goose bumps are nifty we should cut them off and keep them in a jar and label it with those cool labeling guns

I reallllly got off subjects with church
but yee it was pretty epic i like to watch the breakdancers in the VIP room its cool because they fly like all over the world,
I hope god can change kyle like he changed me
but thats asking alot
i thank god
for all he has given me
and am happy not how many friends left me but the very few that remained were true soldiers,
warriors with harry potter wands that are shapped funny with birds wings or whatever lololol
ok im done before i create a novel
-meaghan

p.s. See you when the train comes

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I'm really not feeling all that great today,its like my mental sickness is affecting me physically which is very possible i suppose, tomorrow will be epic for church i really hope Dana doesn't show up because she has been really hurting us lately and told us the church is waiting for Rachel and I to become hypocrites i cant wait to fucking shove hypocrisy down their fucking throats jfc ahhh,
Tomorrow is also bible club and i like to go because I want to change the other Christians to HXC Christians lololol but yea, my body is shaking i hope it wasn't the dog food lol,
jesus Christ, im going to explode
but whatever kelly better listen or im going to beat him but now really probably just shake my head and walk away for him not to notice maby he will be saved one day, very soon
im waiting on meeting Simon again.

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Today an old friend of mine will be visiting the first time in about 2 years,
I truly hope its not awkward which i will probably make it with my weird jokes or talking about hookers or something,
I'm forcing Rachel to tag along so the time will be WAY less awkward lol,
I hope i don't emotionally destroy her with my speech of sadness
O new thing im quite proud actually,
i am wearing matching shoes!
to some that probably doesn't matter to some people
but i am quite proud lol.
I am also taking my niece willow to burger king because she wil be alone today because her older brothers,Niccolo and Donovan are going to be going to a birthday party and the young child Willow doesn't quite understand she cant go lol
So maby i shall text Rachel later today in hopes she is awake lol
im sure she will be because she always wakes up early even if she stays up to like in the morning or doesn't sleep at all lol
Alrightly i believe im leaving now to pick up Willow Farewell...

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(Thats from my favorite band otep )
now from me:
Ive been thinking a lot about Simon (code name for SI) and how i want to use him and dance with him,the days are getting longer
i can feel it itching that weird feeling that makes you want to explode with anguish
I am frightened with being
ahahhhhhahhahahhahhaahhahahahha
you just want to do it but you cant you just cant
its a serious adventure of true horror
lost in this secret labyrinth of too many walls covered in blackend blood
it will turn it will turn it will turn
im praying that these demons go away and readapt my sanity
Nirvana and heaven waiting for hell
don't cry
don't cry
don't cry
little houses explode over wooden doors seek it
Suicide is like railroad tracks
you don't shake till the train comes...

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SICK of Denial
SICK of not being able to keep myself stable
SICK of people telling me to quit
SICK of religion I want a relationship (with God)
SICK of wearing to different shoes
SICK of him not listening
SICK of crying
SICK of being sober
SICK of the absence of sanity
SICK of being left
SICK of my medication
SICK of not being able to sleep
SICK of nightmares
SICK of longing
SICK of George
SICK of pain
I'M SICK I'M SICK SIM SICK I'M SICK I'M SICK I'M SICK I'M SICK I'M SICK I'M SICK I'M SICK ........
Im going to vomit my insecurity im going to vomit up hate im going to vomit up sickness
im going to vomit up emptiness im going to vomit up love im going to vomit up life
im going to vomit rainbows
colored with filth and bile
I cant live with it in me
I cant cutt it out i cant
im going to vomit in beats
I
will
get
it
out
i
promise

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