I wonder what would happen if I let my heart feel something for him. I wonder how it would feel if I just flat out said "let's try this". I wonder if this is how love is supposed to start, not out of lust or pure attractiveness, but through understanding and hearing each other. I wonder if I mean anything more to him than my title or close friend, and I wonder if I would feel more if I really just let myself feel it.

But as usual, I am scared. I don't want to lose him. I don't want to get hurt. Many people say confidence attracts guys. But I don't feel that I should have confidence. Last time I did, it bit me in the butt, and my heart was broken into a million pieces.

Oh well, I'll just see where life takes us.

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or at least, do not want to know?

yeah, that's me at the moment.

And so from now on, I am going to pretend I know nothing, and stay that way. And not only that, but stay away from anything that will cause me to hear any more news about it.

this nose of mine will stop snoopin!

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