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dave
Age. 41
Gender. Male
Ethnicity. Chinese
Location Valley Village, CA
School. Cornell Univ
» More info.
Eh Ah Uh Oh Eh Ah Uh Oh Eh Ah Uh Oh
2th day of 2008
Have you ever wondered... What if the space invaders weren't from outerspace, but were, in fact, human beings from Earth? Well, no need to wonder anymore, for I have searched the vast outreaches of the Internet to satisfy your curiosity. Behold, in video form:



And if you answered "yes" to my opening rhetorical question, then you're a sick bastard.

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All content copyright by dave. Please do not reproduce, recycle, or regurgitate without the express written consent of the CTU.
'08 - The Year to Get Rich or Die Tryin'
1st day of 2008
Will this be the year I make it? Will this be the year that one of my random spurts of get-rich-quick-effort lands me millions of dollars, allowing me to pursue my dreams of becoming a successful and wasteful rockstar, which will give me the opportunity to leverage my short-lived B- or C-level fame to marry a supermodel and then retire off my recently amassed riches in a mansion by the ocean? (Please answer Yes or No and explain your reasoning as a comment to this blog.) My answer is "yes," or I'll die trying.

This January 1st, I feel especially motivated to give success a shot. 2007 passed by all too fast, and looking back, I didn't really accomplish much at all in '07. Though it marked my first full year of fulltime work, the year was awfully unrewarding and I don't have many memories to reflect back on. Post-college, I felt the same way about my college years.

This year, it will be different. I will blog more frequently, showing off my valiant triumphs and victorious conquests.

I will walk down the street and shout "THIS IS WHERE WE FIGHT! THIS IS WHERE THEY DIE!!" (when no one's looking).

No longer will I waste away my time like the thousands of struggling actors around me.

Remember this day, imaginary reader, for it will be yours for all time. And, by "this day," I mean "this year;" and by "yours for all time," I mean "mine for all time."


====
Another pressing question: Which Jessica is the hottest? Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, or Jessica Simpson? Click the link click to vote and receive a $100 Visa. (Conditions apply, of course. )

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My 5 Most Anticipated Movies of '08
364th day of 2007
I (legally and illegally) watched a lot of cool movies in '07. Here are my 5 fave movies of '07:
1. Transformers
2. Pirates of the Caribbean 3
5. 300
3. Shoot 'Em Up
4. Die Hard 4

And, here are my top 5 most anticipated movies of '08:

1. Iron Man


2. WALL*E


3. Wanted


4. Speed Racer


5. The Dark Knight


A couple more movies that didn't quite make my list... Rambo, Cloverfield.

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A Handy Helping Hand
357th day of 2007
With the recent crash of NuTang, it's becoming increasingly apparent to me that I need some helpers to help foster the community's continued growth. Of the tasks that I can most easily transfer, which, at one time, were a central focus of the community, but has since diminished tremendously, are the community building activities. And by that long-winded statement, I mean...
*MoTM -- Member of the Moment competitions
*NuTang Survivor
*NuTang Amazing Race
*and so forth
Additionally, I have not been doing a good job in maintaining the community blogs, namely NuTang's blog.

If anyone would like to volunteer for any of the above mentioned or not mentioned, please drop me a note at dtang4 [AT] gmail.com. (That's my personal email, so use it wisely! ) This is a call for serious volunteers--i.e., people who feel they can pretty consistently volunteer a few hours a week.

In other news, I have moved yet again. I now live in the Vellagio, somewhere between Burbank, North Hollywood, Studio City, and where the hills have eyes. People have commented that I move too much. Since I moved to LA in July '06, I've lived in 7 different apartments. That's 7 apartments for the 7 deadly sins of '07.

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Back in Time for the Holidays
357th day of 2007
And we're back! And, what a painfully arduous journey it has been.

Foremost, and again, I apologize to all NuTang members and visitors of the downtime! Now, onto the excuse...

With my dumb luck, the morning I left for my long awaited two week business trek across Europe was the morning NuTang went down. The dark day? December 1st, 2007. That day, NuTang went down. And it went down hard... so hard, it made me fart.

Whilst trekking through the bitter cold European ice storms, being attacked from all fronts by bipolar polar bears and man-eaters, I could not find the time or energy to work on bringing NuTang back up. Concurrently, my host led an all out assault on my fellow comrades on the Island of Ishbu, thwarting their efforts, as well.

The tribulations of business work and NuTang's woeful combats took a toll on my sleeping habits. In fact, during the two weeks in Europe...
*I pulled 2 all-nighters
*Slept for 26 hrs over a weekend (from Saturday morning to Sunday evening)
*Stayed up for 26 hrs

With that said, I did have a great time in Europe. I learned the following fun facts about Europe...
*Stockholm, Sweden experiences no daylight, only fluctuations between night and dusk.
*Europe is expensive as shit (made out of solid gold)! I literally spent $30USD on one drink. In my 2 weeks, I racked up over $9,000 USD. My colleague, who stayed a half week longer, racked up $13,000 USD. (I have no idea how he pulled that off, though.)
*Extremely crappy shows, like MTV's The Hills, are dubbed in various European languages and broadcasted all day long on MTV Europe.
*MTV Europe plays dubbed episodes of The Simpsons, Family Guy, American Dad, and South Park.
*There's a probably a lot that escapes my mind or I don't feel like boring you further with.

I'm tired.

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Welcome to Egg City
317th day of 2007
Everyone knows that birds only lay eggs in mid-flight. But, has anyone ever wondered if it were possible for these bird eggs to fall 320,000 feet without exploding upon impact? For those that have wondered, the answer is clearly yes, for otherwise, all birds would be extinct. In fact, the only way birds hatch from their concrete shells is due to the force of impact creating large cracks in their shells, allowing the newborn birds to break from their natural prisons. The real question is then: has anyone ever wondered if it were possible for these bird eggs to fall 320,000 feet without a single crack? Has anyone ever wondered if the eggs can not only land without cracking, but atop each other--in perfect balance and harmony?

Is what I'm proposing the least bit possible?

Well, for all y'all haters and doubters and fuckers, it is. My friend, it is possible. Nothing isn't possible, as how everything is impossible.



Welcome, my friend. Welcome to Egg City. Egg City was founded in 1938 by the Norwegian explorer, Ponce de Creatin. The city was erected entirely from eggs that fell from the skies and managed to land in perfect configuration, instantly forming an urban landscape. The current mayor of Egg City is none other than Mr. Egdar Allen Gge

However, this beloved city has recently been terrorized by the supervillain, Spiderwoman.



Now, unto more of life's unanswered questions that, through my ever-diligent research on the Wildest World Web, can now FINALLY be answered.

What happens when an autistic savant eats too much pizza?


Did the suicidal squirrel really die?


Are we all really blind and imagining the world we live, breathe, and defecate in?

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