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Monday. 6.21.04 10:56 pm
ok, i'm going to wait until they mail my scores. wait. no. i dont know. hrmmmmmm...

fuck. lets see. do i want to get in trouble now or later?

i dont know....

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Monday. 6.21.04 3:17 pm
DUDE!! i love being retarrrrded. lol. the only person i can really be retarted and funny around is.......... tadada! Jessica. lol ahhh dont feel like writing so i wont. ^_^

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The music search
Sunday. 6.20.04 3:14 pm
Alright this SUCKS. i cant find any decent music to listen to. all of it is INSANLY repetative, sucks, and whiney like shit. fuck. today's music, just doesnt cut it. i want the morrisey cd. dont have it though, this whole, saves the day, yellowcard, yadyada bull shit. they suck man. i'm trying to listen to it but ALL of it sounds the same, the lyrics arent great, and please, find some damn creativity.

music sucks right now.

i killed all of my old stuff, you know the good stuff, and now, i'm stuck. i cant listen to that stuff cause, well i killed it.and fuck. when you dont have anything to listen to, fuck dude. its sucks ass.

edgewater sucks.

lets try coheed and cambria.

eh, slightly better but not much. i think it needs to be louder.

ok, an improvement.

i want to do something. build something. i want to do something thats oh i dont know, productive. hrm, there really isnt much out there that i can be doing. hrm. maybe i should get one of those like model kit things, that would be fucking cool. my parents wont put up the capital and i surly dont have it. hrm. thats scrapped, what else is there. i dont really feel like hanging out with people. so thats out. i changed and rotated the tires on my dads car today. it was cool. i had fun. i really need to build something. hrm... what is there around that i can build? hrm.... what about. no. cant do that. a bomb? no, not in the house. hrm... rockets would be nice but that requires human interaction. not up for it. Hrm... i want to go to borders or barnes and noble and walk around look at books, watch people. that'd be cool. i want to sit in the corner of a mall, and watch people. i want to walk around and go window shopping. alone. that'd be cool. Hrm.... i dont really feel like getting presentable enough to go out of the house though. that is a problem. fuck. i could clean my room. no. maybe the kit thing has to happen. ok. i'll do that.


i feel like shit. i didnt call jessica yesterday. but i had to go home and get something and i called my mom and she went apeshit on me. i dont know. the weather seemed ok, so we were going to launch and i told her. FUCK. not fun. she yelled, did the whole thind, bitched, and hung up on me. eh. whatever. so i figured NOT a good time to chill with jessica cause i really am going to get caught. so, i decided against that. but, being the shit i am, i didnt call jessica to tell her this. fuck. i'm sorry man. i really am. *sigh* i suck....

i want angry music that doesnt suck. No. i want loud music. No. I want Rage right now. DAMN IT! i dont have any of their cd's. FUCK i am so fucking frustrated right now.

damn it.

i'm just rambling now. lol

i hate father's day. i really do. I called my dad, and i was like "happy fathers day!!" and he was like, "whoa, thats today? Huh. I didnt even know" DAMN IT! i hate fathers day. having two fathers. not cool. especially when you make them BOTH feel like shit cause you tell both "I love you" fuck.

i hate holidays. the only holiday worth anything is halloween. thats it. the rest SUCK. i hate xmas, i hate thanksgiving, i hate easter, i hate new years. i hate them. seriouslly.

fucking retarted dumb shit holidays.

maybe i'll read. that might be good. going to read Chaos Theory. that'll be the shit. ok i'll read.

No, i'm to awake for that.

I'm screwed with indecisiveness.

this music still sucks.

maybe drowning pool.

Nope. that didnt work.

Ok what next?


CRYSTAL METHOD! fuck yes. ok. this will work. lets see....

yes much better.

i'm out.

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Sunday. 6.20.04 1:17 am
I'm sorry!!! jess, i'm sorry. i was going to call you but then my mom went psycho shit. so not worth getting caught over. i dont know. shes crazy. buts nows shes cool. i'll explain later in detail.


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Saturday. 6.19.04 11:49 am
sadly, i'm smitten...


fuck. i was just. ah.

it'll end, i swear, i'll make it.

my death. i swear this will be bad. jess, i'll explain

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Saturday. 6.19.04 12:28 am
fuck. a 1270 is NOT a good grade. i am so fucked. i really am dreading this whole telling my parents thing. they are going to... man. i dont even want to think about it. i'm scared. but. what can i do?


i guess i'll just have to retake it. fuck. a 1270 is just unacceptable. they couldn't give me 30 more points? JUST THIRTY POINTS DAMN IT!

ok. i'm done.

ok. some one. ok. cant write that here. all i have to say is that i'm suddenly in a good mood.


lol. nope. never could, could i?

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