The Song will stay the Same
Led Zeppelin

My life is now complete...

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Ok, priscilla's biggest problem. No, not really i dont know. lets put this in words i understand and ones that others dont...


the worlds blood ceases to flow and the faces stare up from clear liquid, screaming to one another, i know what it is, i know what theres to do but it isnt what i want and i dont really know.


ah, i cant even write right now. wow, that sentence just sucked ass, "write right" man i suck.


ok so the real deal. hrm. dreams.

I had a dream, i really loved it. i did, its something that hit a chord in my feelings that nothing has in forever. i have ceased to feel, apathy my gift and curse the same. i can forget the trivialities, the stupidity, the insanity, i can ignore all that is but in that, i lose "feeling" True emotion. The heart. i dont have that. or at least very little of it. its confusion that racks me and maybe even delusion, but something about it, about "him" kills me. i dont know. its INSANE. its life, how can he annoy me so but enter my dreams like that? But not annoy me at all, and intrigue me, and fucking, shit. that dream was so awesome, so completely what "could be" but not necessarily what "will be" if one of us took intiative and just oh i dont know, made a move, haha, something would happen we might be happy. but it wont you see, it cant cuz, well i dont make those moves, not with him at least, and i dont think he will either. SICK INSANLY SICK

maybe i just need to pay more attention,.
maybe i just need to wake my brain

I WISH the electrons would do their work and something would fire in here so that maybe just maybe, somthing will happen.


but then again when the whitt bojangled me telling me that to hope is nothing, for only action is something. I cant wish or hope, i have to take action, or i will never know. never ever know.... *sigh* but then again do i want to know? yes i fucking do.

shit.


the inanity of my insanity.....

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Its a place to learn philosophy, its a place for peace, its a place for the aesthetic. it was beauty in all its essence.

allow the memories to wash, the thoughts to wane, and the feelings run...


let the shores crash, the water wave, and the wind blow.


be as they will, be as you can, be as YOU will.


ITs lovely isn't it?

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the gift of writing ceases, the sounds of worlds increase, you wondered about the clever, but acted of course, never. add me alone and subtract me people. thats all i want, as shown. When they feel the dispair, theres always the cold rush of air. Maybe i'll survive, maybe i'll die, but i have a talent and can revive. All throughout this life, i might. we'll see, you'll know, you'll heed everything. so, might as well go. might as well succeed.

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Whatever feelings or things i say this week are to be completely void and nullified.


If i do anything to change anyone's point of view, or envoke their emotions, whether it be positive or negative, just know that next week it will all mean nothing. positively NOTHING.


oh, and if i hurt your feelings. Go me.


^_^

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I wrote a bit the other night. Laying in bed within the hours of sleep as it refuses to come, i wrote.

This is my ode to a dying relic, a world in which we have left. Maybe a feeling we never lost but something we've forgotten. yet, no w/o cost. i was thinking of that relic reborn from time to time, though never really to full potential, dont you think love, that nifty little thing, might be, something odd yet, nourishing. I dont know. Its me wanting something i cant have. maybe i shouldn't have changed. should i return to what life was. maybe its worth it. but what of the progression? the love.

Its an age of silence a world in muted lights, soft singing drums and laughter remote and lost. Lets stand still together and soak up the cyanide. Come and dance with me, maybe you wont have two left feet. "i sit and wonder of every love that could have been, if only i could have thought of somethign charming to say." Am i losing it? have i already lost it? You know i fear it. you know i wont stand for it but tend to wallow as is. when you watch their sillouettes melt and their happiness radiate you wonder, i cant really make it like that though. Cant really say its so. but maybe its something lost upon the good and youthful. ever thought of that. ones actions may reflect ones life. i am not on of morals. and this is how i choose to direct my karma. I am far from one worthy so it may seem. maybe i'm just lonely. maybe i'm just scared. wheres life going today? its a choice we live by. a world we dictate and feelings we create. i want to kiss someone i love, i want to give what i have and live just for them to see, what i am who i may be. maybe its foolish adolencence or even something more but, how can we say? "I need you so much closer" maybe he's too lost. a deadend to live in. A world i cannot tap, a feeling that wont be shared, a kill that cant be felt. what a tragedy. For such youth to be wasted on lonliness. But there still gleams lights within the depths of the ocean and maybe one day i'll stumble on them. Maybe he'll make that move, maybe i'll get that kiss. Who knows. lay it on chance. whats there to do but wait? and waiting may be a heavy task yet, living life with a measure of laughter may be the levity in which i need. but then again it can only seem that a world is everything it deems. I'm just tired of lonliness and ready for that type of happiness. Let me whince, its ok wont help anyone of my kind. "Can you tell me why you have been so sad" maybe i could but it would too bad.

Who knows.

Dont know and that'll be the secret.

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