So the doctor wants me to stay home this week, too. This means there's really not a lot of point in me returning to work. I understand that, but I'm really going to miss the store and the people I worked with there. What's worse is that since I couldn't get ahold of Bekah until Friday (even though she says Saturday) it means she had less than two weeks notice that I was leaving...which makes me ineligible for rehire. I've officially lost my fall back and one of the few jobs I've been able to say I absolutely loved. If I mess up with Southwest again, that's it. *sigh* It all feels so finite.

Our cable is off again...which means soon they'll be here for the money we don't have...I'm so stressed out I can't think straight anymore...

and I'm starving....meh

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Today at 30th Street Station I was waiting for my train and a girl with one leg, in very tight jeans, passed me on the platform. If you're wondering...yes, I did check out her ass...then I wondered how a girl with one leg manages such a fine tuned behind...*awkward silence*

ANYWAY!
This morning's commute settled on me slightly more smoothly that yesterday's. I was in a fairly amicable mood until my lungs started to catch fire again. This isn't a good sigh, folks. Nonetheless, I trucked it to work. I passed my airport badge test (woo!), but that's really all today brought me. This weekend's trip is looking less and less likely with every cough that brings me close to puking again. I've had bad problems with my body dealing with infections before, and I'm terrified that I won't be able to get over this without being either home or hospital bound. I can't really afford either, and I really don't want to lose this job...again. I just want to be healthy. The rest can wait until then.

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thanks GODS the next 2 weeks wont be 8am shifts anymore.

Today proved rather interesting, as we near closer and closer to not only a full moon, but an eclipse as well. There's been this guy the last few days who follows me. I guess he's about my age, whatever. Today he finally got the nerve to talk...he shouldn't have. I sat on the bench to wait for the train to pull up, and he decides to sit next to me. Fine, free country, public place. Then he gives me "the eyes" and asks, "So, how you doin'?" "I'm alright." "yeah?" "yeah" and I figure this is the end of the thus far enlightening conversation, but this is really where it all takes a fatal turn for the worst. "you're pregnant, huh?" "hah! no" and a look of "oh shit!" crosses his face. Once again, I figure this is where our exhilerating exchange should be allowed to die instead of being scraped along the pavement. However, he persists, "oh, I just had to say that" What!? I love being reminded I'm fat and disporportionate first thing in the morning. Thanks! Luckily, the train saved me, as did the newly battery plugged mp3 player on loan from Chris this morning.
Work itself went alright. I feel slightly guilty that I may have given Justin the plague. I guess that's what happens to people in my general vicinity. Pestilence. I got my training shift for the two weeks prior to flying out to Dallas. I'll be getting home late, but for now I can manage that better than I can manage being up at 4am.
The trains got me home relatively quickly, and I started my walk home since Chris has practice tonight. That's when things get...well, predictable really. Guess who shows up? Yeah....Him. He speedwalks to catch up with me and slows to even my pace. Great...now we play the social game. "So where you go that early in the morning" "work." "wow, I come to work now and leave in the morning." "that's great." Then the slough of usual questions, like a stupid Myspace survey. "So, how old are you? You live around here? You single?" He was disappointed to find out I am not in fact single, and followed with the obligatory, "he better treat you well...if not, you let me know!" Ya, sure, I'll be right on that. pfft!

thank god it's friday!

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nothing to get me back into the groove of being at the gates like irregular ops, a bunch of snow, and a full moon...people make me crazy...but i have to say mary and i make a spectacular team...im gonna miss having her at my side at all times just because shes awesome company in chaos...tonight we mastered a 3 minute checkout each! anywho, thats about it...im sleepy, but i decided to make dinner tonight....but as soon as thats done and eaten....sleeeeeeeeeep....

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i just went to look at my pay statement to see if my direct deposit went through...i make $.50 more than i though i did! when did THAT happen?

anywho, today was a better day than yesterday was...mary and i talked a lot, which is something we never did when i worked there before...shes really easy to open up to. today also had to be the worst search for diet pepsi ive ever endured! none of our behind the scenes machines either had any or would take my dollar (the one at t-point actually TOOK my dollar and refused to give me any cold beverages in return)...so i paid my damned $1.50 for a bottle at dugan's...fuck it, i was thirsty...however by some odd twist of luck i managed to be double fisted in pepsi's on the way back to work....i also now must fork over the deed to the kingdom of jennsylvania as i DID offer "my kingdom for an effin diet pepsi" as a fair trade...of course as soon as i had my mandibles on one my blood sugar plummeted, so i also imbibed a good amount of apple juice today....i dont know why i crashed so much today...im not even on a full dose of lantus (i got lazy last night, was short 5 units, and didnt really care to go to the fridge for a new bottle) so im a bit perplexed....

a bit perplexed but a lot hungry...i go for now!

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I forgot how working at the airport makes me long for absolute silence...gah.

Today my head split into two factions who couldn't agree on a goddamned thing. One side wanted to be inconsolably upset, the other one big ray of sunshine. The hyper side won out, but all day I felt like I wasn't myself. I wafted through my day in a heightened fantasmagoric state where I was manic but also aware of being on the verge of tears. This breach in cognizance obviously added a bit of viscosity to my thought processes. Enough to make me think about things for a good 30 seconds before I could complete a simple task... NOT a day for JP to decide I needed to take my online test, but I didn't do too horribly. Hah! The day in and of itself wasn't terrible once I got to work. I was a bit hazy on the trains, though. RIGHT in the middle of an oversell they choose to tell me I got cited for a no-punch a few days ago, which I thought was an occurance. The thought of having one before I even go to Dallas made me feel like leaving then and there and giving up for good, and it was the fight of the week trying not to cry while I handled passengers and worked my flight. Instead of freaking out I wandered over to the book store on my break to find a couple books I might like to take to training with me. I think I've decided on Finn and Born on a Blue Day. Both looked extremely interesting. Perusing books calmed me, as usual, as did the hugs I was able to manage a little later and the assurance that a no-punch is not one of my strikes. Whew! My train from 30th was 20 minutes late, which made the wait for my second train extremely long. Ugh.

In other news....Lansbowl burned down this morning! =0( I'll miss you, Lansbowl! AND no...contrary to popular belief, I did NOT torch it myself!

Ok, this has gone on long enough....it's time to do some packing then hit the hay. Gnight all! Here's to a better tomorrow! I'll be sans trainer (well technically I'll have a sub...but I'll miss Mary), so it could be a slow brain day. I've gotten so used to the way she works with me. Ok...for real this time...nighty night!

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