well... school has started up again. and once again i'm typing this in my photo class... LOL i forgot my camera again... boo... and thing for me, on a emotional level, isn't going well... LOL partly it's my fault... hmm... i'll type it up later.

i still find it funny that on a school computer i have access to this site. i guess no one really knows about nutang at this school except me and my newspaper friends but they don't have an account on here like i do. LOL they ask me what this place is and i tell them that it's like xanga but better in a way cuz you can talk to other people who aren't on your list cuz of the shout out box on the home page.

hmm... what else is there to say?? well i did notice that nutang is getting more support and that the updates being done are terrific. some of them was my cousin's asking and coming up with like two or three ideas. umm...

HAHA sweethearts is coming up and i don't have a date or whatever i'm going to wear... LOL what should it be??? a tux of dress??? LOL WOO!! having choices is fun but then again it's hard... LOL what to do what to do.... play 200 or more on a dress or rent a tux for like 75 bucks??? LOL i swear it's fun being a dyke..LOL

shit... i'm falling hard for camille paras...LOL she's soo funny and cool... sadly... heh i kinda set her up with my friend gail... and i didn't realize that i did that until it was too late... lol i'm fucking stupid i know... and i had a damned chance!!!!! AHH!!! i drive myself up the wall too many times... i swear it!!! lol

well... anyways... until next week or when i go here when i'm at home... which is prolly a yes cuz i'm going to fix this thing up and blah blah blah blah..LOL ramble ramble ramble nonsesne nonsense!!!

soul 2 soul
heart 2 heart
we are one!!

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yea... it's been a while now has't nutangers??? i bet you guys don't visit my site anymore but that doesn't matter much... it's as long as i get my feelings out there...

well to get you all situated with my position in life now... Christine broke up with me in july. but no worries there i'm still best friends with her... if you've read in earlier blogs then you know what i'm talking about. yes!!! lol... i dunno.. umm... she has a new boyfriend too... he's name is Louis J. i was friends with him before.... now he hates the shit out of me... why i dunno... maybe cuz i'm her ex...? but gosh i haven't done anything to them or him... and ow he's trying to erase me from her life... it's wrong... not right.. also he's being a selfish bastard and trying to get her out of cheer. he already got to get out of FEA and PUENTE... that's not cool...

hmm.... now i'm mad at him.... bastard....

anypoo...

i also have a new gf. her name is grecia R. i love her a lot... i mean a lot.. HAHA we met through myspace HAHA it's funny.

the weird part about it all is that she's almost exactly my my ex gf. i mean wow... what are the odds of that..? meeting someone through the internet and them having the same likes and disikes... it's creepy... i dunno... but no worries Grecia isn't a weirdo guy trying to rape an innocent girl like me. haha i've met her and evything so yea it's kewl... lol but yea...

i think this is all for now. goodbye for now nutangers

showing the love... <3

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Bob loves bob because bob loves bob....

Amazing how fast time goes by... it's already the end of the first semester... and gosh... grades aren't very good... actually they suck very big blue balls!!! hmm... isn't it great to be failing the classes you really need to pass high school...? sigh... Christine isn't very happy about it but lately i haven't been myself more like very distant from everyone and thing around me... it's i dunno... sometimes i can't feel anything like my emotions like i just don't care anymore... sometimes i wonder how long i've been depressed... so far i counted way back into elementary school like around the third grade... it wasn't purposely it's just that i had things happening to me that i didn't know how to deal with and it really screwed me up for life... so right now i'm trying to piece everything back together and trying to get back into the single file line that everyone calls life. I strongly doubt that it's going to happen (meaning me getting back into reality [if it's even real])

i know i haven't really been typing in here a lot... it's cuz i've been kinda busy with finals and AP European... which i've been kicked out of... sad... LOL gosh i'm kinda happy that i'm out of that class... Boulton was yelling at us most of the time during class at how terrible we did on the final...
Anyways... i gotta get back to writing back to Christine in our notebook bai ppls for now

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school is back into full swing and i don't like it... except that i get to see Christine everyday again ::smiles:: heh my stupid popup thingy is going nutz so it pretty much blocks all the smaller windows hah... hm... as i've said i get to see my lovely Christine again. heh she makes me smile and feel fuzzy inside.. wonderful feeling it is isn't it? heh
boulton is being ugh.. as always... paul is crazy as usual... everything back to the way it was before break except for the knowing that when we get back to school next year (which is going to be in August instead of Sept.) we're going to be wearing uniforms.... ::yuckos...:: disgusting... i thought i was fully rid of those hideous things... damnit!! fuck the school administration and district... they can kiss us the students' asses!!! and fuck Maestre for ignoring Allan Green's questions and comments!!! FUCK THEM ALL!!!!
i hate uniforms... damn them...
i miss Christine... heh kinda showed our affection out there in public today at school but all's great!!i love this chick... heh i wonder if she's going to call me tonight... Bin's is coming to my house on sunday to go swimming... LOL and Cristina Navarro is coming as well... YUCK!! loll j/m she's... okay i guess... perky but okay Cheerleaders... effing Cheerleaders... LOL but i put up with it... cuz my GF is one... heh hmm... i think this is all for now... gotta do some important shit for school and the stuff i promised Christine... heh

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i look out my window and it's raining outside... seeing rain fall like that in the morning brightens up my day... but it's not going to be complete until you're in my arms again... i miss you...

hmm... yes it is raining in sunny daygo again. i like the rain it makes me feel good that people don't like rain (not all) but they have to suffer anyways cuz they can't control the weather. speaking of weather, Christine likes the weather channel. lol HAHA that makes me laugh! she's such a strange person soo unique. just listening to her talking about her childhood intrigues me. i think i'm going to be using her young self in a story or two. she's just soo interesting. i learn new stuff about her everyday. lol i swear she was born goth too. LOL not liking to talk to ppl always keeping to her self acting strange talking to things having an interest in the color black at a very young age. wooo she's my girl. haha and she's beautiful oOo i have pictures which i'll post up later. heh GREAT heh. the rain make me miss her even more... she loves rain and dark clouds.

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My Sweet Nightmare
(Dedicated to Elizabeth Adams)
written by Christa and co-written by Marian

It hurts to know
The fact that we would never be
I guess this love
I have for you
You will never feel
Hurts even when i see your face
How i long each day for you

Sitting all alone
Thinking of you
You've never left my mind
Always haunting me
Always taunting me
My nightmare

I gave you love
Through my words
Straight from my heart
I wanted you
To know how I felt
How I cared

Sitting all alone
Thinking of you
You've never left my mind
Always haunting me
Always taunting me
My nightmare

You got scared
From how I felt
You ran away from me
I didn't mean
To hurt you so bad
I'm sorry

Days go by
So very slowly
our bond is wasting away
Away
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Goodbye
(Christine likes the song but hates the meaning of it)
written by Christa

I'm glad
To say
That this
Is the end
For me

I'm saying
My goodbyes
To you
And my life

I never
Liked
How
Things came out

So please
Don't forget me
Keep me
In your dreams

I'll be
Waiting
For you
out there
Somewhere

So
Don't worry
About me
Tonight

I'm here
with you
Enjoying
My last night

Tomorrow
I'll be gone
Leaving
you alone

I hope
you
had
Your fun

Goodbye
My friends
I hope
We meet again

I'm glad
To say
That this
is the
End
For me

------------------------------------------------------------------------

So Close but So Far Away
(the song written for Christine)
written by Christa

I lay my head down to sleep
Hoping that i'll dream of you
All i need is your comforting touch
And to hear your so sweet voice

These feelings I just can't keep
Everyday it's the same old thing
I'm missing you but you're a foot away
How can you be so close but so far away

Each day that goes by
These feelings get stronger
Please let me show you
How I feel

These feelings I just can't keep
Everyday it's the same old thing
I'm missing you but you're a foot away
How can you be so close but so far away

(Bridge)

These feelings I just can't keep
Everyday it's the same old thing
I'm missing you but you're a foot away
How can you be so close but so far away...

-------------------------------------------------------------------

hmm... i've written these three songs this year... been playing guitar for a little over a year now... no lessons all self taught. i hope i could start up a band... if not okay but a band sounds nice.. people say i should be a writer others say i should be a singer/songwriter. i think i should try out both and see how that is. hehi really should recored these songs... lol i have a couple fans that would like it. (Christine) lol damnit... i love that girl to the maxx!! LOL i'm out for now

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OMG!!! my comp has been really stupid so far... well anyways i'm back to nutang and i'm glad to be back i've missed nutang sooo much... it really sucked when my comp just liked xanga... i hate xanga... it bugs me cuz i can't do really cool stuff!!

Hmm... wonder how everything is with me now-a-days??

well lets see i have a girlfriend now... she's great! and really nice and polite down to earth (i think) LOL did i mention she's a cheerleader?? i guess not heh i love her soo much. even though she can be very childish at times... but still i love her soo very much. and she's like my perfect match like she's my girly part of me. and she tells me that i'm perfect for you. ::sigh:: i've never felt like this before it's pretty crazy... you may say that "oh it's just puppy love..." but it's not that. i've known this girl for 3 years and i always felt something for her but i never realized it like this same with her she has never felt like this about anyone before... the thing about her is that she's straight and she fell head over heels in love with me. i even waited through her two boyfriends that she had before me and both of them i didn't partically were very fond of.... damned horny fucks... you all know that everyone has there fir share of bad relationships so yea i want to show her what a really good relationship feels like... i hope that we stay together for a long time.
what else....
oh yea... school well i'm in the 10th grade now... and i dunno it's ok... the only good thing is that Christine is apart of my life now. she's soo kewl!!
Mr. Boulton is my AP teacher but i'm kicked out of AP cuz of my grades... poop... and Mrs. Paul is crazee... Mrs. Cook i hate... ugh... i can go on about my teachers forever.
I think my parents know about me and Christine cuzthey wouldn't let her sleep over after my partee... that's not fair like we're going to do anything anyways...
OH YEAH!!! i forgot to mention that i'm now 16!!! wow i'm old and short... LOL gosh what happened to my childhood... i miss it and plus it was taken away from me at a very young age... so that's not fair i want to relive it but this time live it like a regular kid. heh
On the fone with my girly and she's going a bit crazee but i love her anyways heh... she's home alone so yea LOL it makes me laugh and it scares me a little cuz i'm not really used to hearing her act like this... LOL it's a surprise. she surprises me everyday and i love that about her.
Damn Cheerleaders except her cuz she's cool and she's not an airhead and plus she's an outcast amongst them. to be cont. later

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I'm finally back on line after how long of tv... lol so glad!!!

yesterday was the best day so far since school started!!! but it was radier writing day... still it was hilarious!!

first period... Algebra 2 nothing much some laughs. Mark and Brian were asleep behind me and these guys across the room threw paper balls at brian lol. funny...

second period... was just scary Mr. Boulton's AP European History class... lol i'm scared of the guy and his really bad sweat stains eww... but he still interests me with his "good" lectures.

third! this is where the fun begins!!! Ms. Paul's advanced english class!!! haha she's funny and strange and exetremely hyped up on caffine!!! lol the first time i saw her she was holding a mug and an empty coffee pot. lol and labbering on about something very very very very quickly. lol

fourth!! this is where i practically die of laughter!!! Ms. Hernandez the spanish teacher (i'm not supposed to have this class but i really like it!!) is passing out books to everyone but me, cuz i'm leaving soon, my friend Marian got a book from me and Ms. Hernandez starts walking towards us asking marian this "Heather, do you need a book? Heather, do you need a book??" LOL i say "Heather...? Her name is Marian." Marian says "Yeah like Marian Catholic High..." LOL the rest of the day i was messing with "Heather" all day. LOL// next thing what happened... ms. Hernandez was taking role at the end of the period (i dunno why at the end) and she got to Shante Pose and she couldn't say her name but she tried and boi did she try. when she sed it the first time i was laughing hard!!! everyone was staring at me but the soon got why i was laughing. she finally got around to saying it the sixth time with sooo much exageration and her thick spanish accent "Shantay Poussay" I was Laughing so hard i couldn't breath and i was crying... lol shante stormed out into the hall way. i couldn't blame her. from then on i can never hear the name Heather and not laugh including watching the movie "Heathers" starring Winona ryder. and also i can't look at Shante straight in the face anymore without cracking... LOL my gosh!!!

Fifth period PE. with Christine. She's such a rad girl that is a Cheerleader LOL who'd ever thought that a rock chic would get onto the JV cheer then onto the Varsity Squad??? lol i didn't but she did it and that's a first that i'ver heard and seen. we mess around soo much... i told her what happened to me in fourth and i made her cry from laughing soo much!!! Gosh!! it was just that funny. then i tried to tell her that i kinda liked her but it's hard and also she's question of herself so yea that's always a great sign. then i remembered she has a BF... that brought me down a notch. but still it was great.lol i said out loud in the gym "I need to change my cookie!" lol that got her crying again.

at lunch i hung out with her and the guy she's with lol i don't even know his name... i'm bad LOL but yea it was fun then in the Cafeteria i said "Poussay" and she turned around and said to me "Yeah I know you like 'Poussay'." i slapped her on the back hard she slapped me in the face hah that's fair isn't it lol.

sixth period! SUBSTITUTE!!! Mr. Mattison!!! WOOO!!!! lol i've had that sub for english last year haha it was funny cuz of Radley HAHAHAHAH!!!! Radley Angles!! hahaha he's popular with everyone and everyone knows him. haha he's just hilarious. Mr. Mattison "Radley you're not allowed within 10 yards of Mr. Mattison." LOL

then there's VolleyBall practice heh i'm offically the manager for the JV team it's great!!! heh I dogging Marian. I told Monica about me being yea. lol she was a little shocked but kewl lol. Marian fell in the Locker room!! HAHAH i knew she would!!! that was pretty much my day yesterday. today i'm going to Mira Mar for a party lol heh gotta wear hawaiian shiznit lol heh i guess this is all for now

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