oh my gosh!! i felt so scared today. i was going for my pre-test and then everything was so not fine just because i was so scared. those things that i used to do very well doesn't seem that easy anymore.SCARY!! i wonder if my face was as white as a sheet?!

but then, i think i passed my pre- driving test already ba. at least the person did not told me i failed my test. i don't know. *sigh!*

and yeah, i am uploading the puppies into the gallery.all those photos are candid photos. but the one named stylish is done by me. he like playing under the car and stain his fur with the petrol, so i used the petrol on his fur as gel and make his fur stand.

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i was waiting for him to go online today, but he did not. yeah...think positive: he is ok already and is having a lot of fun with his friends. nice people deserve nice nice things.



and i realised something: unless a person really knows how to make use of the arms and the legs, a very thin and tall person won't look very nice when he or she dances. but this is only what i observed.

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he was sad today. he said he have been feeling rather down lately, getting angry at nothing and start scolding at anyone who talked to him. he said he felt his head was burning and that he wanted to kill people when he felt angry. he thought he was having some mental problem.

he just don't know teenagers having mood swings are normal, doesn't matter if you are a boy or a girl. he also don't know how to cope with the feelings and yet he is not willing to go look for that counselor in school and talk to that person about it.

i don't know how to cheer him up. at this kind of moments, jokes doesn't work that much. and i don't know what to say. there is nothing i can say. i am even younger than him a year, so if i am going to tell him mood swings are normal, he won't believe me.

how i wish i was by his side. not that i can do anything more, but at least i can stay by his side and accompany him, and maybe when i see his expressions, i will know what to do. through internet conversations, all i can do was listen to him. but at least when i see him, i will know how he feels through his expressions and i will also know if he was just trying to make me feel less worried about him.

but seriously, when he told me his brain was burning, i was worried. he is, after all my friend.i really don't want him to feel sad.

and this feeling is called 'helpless'.

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can i ask how much is the IQ of a normal person??

today, during maths, the teacher did a question related to IQ again. and he have endless comments again.

the question is: if the IQ scores of 600 applicants of a college is normal distributed with mean 115 and standard deviation 12. if the requirement of IQ score to enter the college is at least 95, find the number of those applicants, who are failed to enter college.

while reading this question, he was laughing sarcastically and said that this particular college is an stupid school because he thinks that IQ of i think 100 (or 95) and below belongs to the monkey.

i don't understand. maybe because i don't understand IQ.

i don't know what is the average IQ for a normal person, and what is considered high or low. but i don't think 95 is that low that it only suits a monkey. and i don't know why my teacher want to make the monkeys sounded so stupid when they are actually smart creatures?!

*sigh!*

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today, during one of my lessons, the subject teacher asked one of my friends some questions. she was sick today, so her reaction was a little slow. then the person sitting besides her tell the teacher that she is sick, but the first reaction that the teacher gave was 'really?!', with a look full of suspicion. of course, with a little joking look.

how disappointed.

i thought teachers are suppose to care for their students rather than to suspect them? ok, maybe that teacher have met some students who always lie to her about this kind of things. but she have already taught us for some time already, she should have understand us well enough to know who would lie to her and who would not.

*sigh!*i pretty much guess that trust is losing between teachers and students...and maybe somewhere out there in corners unseen.

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this is unfair!!

i just asked from dad $50 for my pocket money and he gave me a condition.wash his clothes.i guess this is pretty fair, exchanging of items and services.

but what about my brother?he asked for a computer and my dad agreed without any agreements.and a desktop cost much more than a thousand.

when he bought that computer, i already hate it a lot. why is it that he is younger than me and yet he does not have to use hand-down items from me and my sis.but why do i have to use all that??some more,this desktop i am using now is one that is seriously abused by him,one that is being hit continuously when it is slow and scribbles all over.

he is one that dad always complains about and keep scolding, and yet he gave him so much.i asked for a digital camera for about half a year and what i got was just dragging on.and i am pretty much sure a digital camera is much more cheaper than a desktop.

maybe i should just tell him i will buy it with my own savings.

i asked so little, and i got none.

was it because i don't know how to bug him?or was it because i am just too nice that he can afford to disappoint me?

i am jealous. why is everything so unfair?

and the pocket money i asked for, was just for half a month. my usual pocket money was $100 per month.

i just don't know how to treat this feeling.it hurts so much, but i can't bear to tell him, can't bear to see what kind of expressions he will have.

maybe, i should just work things out myself.earn my own money and buy my own things.his money aren't mine to spend anyway.

and then i should just tell them:'look,i bought what i want already with my own money.' and just hide the unfairness in me.


***i will update the photos of puppies as soon as i find a way to put the photos in this desktop.

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