Okay, is it just me or does it seem really stupid that I've got people asking me for advice about girls? I trip over myself and do the "perfect wrong" pretty much everytime I'm given the option without even realizing it. Now if that's not a good reason to quit asking me for advice, I don't know what is... But it apparently isn't too good of a reason since they ask after I explain that to them at length... I try not to say too much because it's definitely not right to lead anyone into my sort of rut.

And, also, you can't go to people for problems with everything. What kind of a boyfriend is someone who asks some other guy what to do in every situation he gets/wants to get into? It's like you're a walking version of the other guy - taking the main part of his personality and making those decisions seem your own. I feel pretty bad for anyone that might happen to, since it's stupid to do anything you don't want to yourself. If you accept that someone else's idea is better than your own without considerable thought towards the idea you had... Sorry, but you're hopeless. Especially if you don't even think for yourself and just ask someone else to think for you. I'll tell you what that is. Retarded.
Well, enough of that.

Blah, blah, blah, blah. Life sucks. Blah. Blah. Blah, blah, blah, I'm depressed. Blah. (I've been reading a lot of that as of late and it's getting to me. I'm not saying I'm not like that, since I do whine about stuff, but it does get annoying. At least there are a few people that are actually justified in saying their lives suck...)

Anyway. Not too much going on with me. Yes, I'm still sad about all of this that's going on, but I'm hopeful too. That, in turn, makes me hopeless, apparently. Go figure. I hope I did the right thing for her today...

Later, DS
~ Friday I'm in Love. It's a fitting song, right? (Despite the fact that it's continuous.)

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Triumphant? No. That's not a word I could use to describe myself. Something deep within me apparently took it upon itself to make my life a living hell, and leave me none the wiser. I've asked everyone that could've possibly been involved with it if they had been... but everyone said no. It was me, and I've no recollection of the action that formed two more scars. One on the skin, another on my heart.

What will come of this? I couldn't tell you if I knew. I have a feeling the consequences are going to haunt me for all the span my memory can encompass. The vibrant joy I felt all year, being able to be so close to her even with all the distance between us, is fading like the sunset... it's warmth and hospitality slowly drifting below the horizon... So, too, goes my hope.

What support I do have is greatly appreciated, considering all the things I've put those people through... Beating the crap out of Todd for bad-mouthing her was a highlight. There's a lot more to be thankful for than sorry... I may have forever lost the dearest one to my heart, but I have friends who are willing to stand by, people that are willing to listen, even when I paid no heed to them. I don't deserve such luxury.

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Does it not strike anyone as slightly odd that someone just randomly decided to taste something that was leaking out of their tree? I mean, if you disregard the fact that it was probably Canadians, it just seems completely illogical. The stuff looks enough like regular sap that I'm beginning to wonder if someone just came along, looking for his/her next hardened, amber-y treat when he/she tried to take a chunk of maple sap, realized it was impossible, took a knee, and buried their face in the tree to lick up the syrup... Not a very pleasant image for anyone, I'd think. I'd say another acceptable theory, though, is that someone was playing a practical joke on another, probably in Canada again, who had never seen or tasted sap. Person A tells Person B, "Hey, this stuff is really good, you should try some!"
Person B responds, "Sure, what is it?"
"Pine sap," snickers Person A. Person B proceeds to lick the tree and likes it, Person A is disgusted, eventually tries it, and later admits to having a good time doing it, plus he/she gets the credit for discovering it since the other person thought he'd tried it before.
Just thinking about this confuses me greatly... To me, it's kinda like whoever found water in a cactus first... if only because I wonder what in the world possessed the person to chop down a cactus in the first place. But, as I don't want to get into the cliché analysis of the guy that discovered pot or tobacco or that you could milk cows or that seaweed (or is it algae) makes for the slippery goodness of toothpaste, and I shall just end my stream of conciousness here.

Later, DS
~ Always play for keeps! Then, when you lose, demand to have the rules explained again.

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