Triumphant? No. That's not a word I could use to describe myself. Something deep within me apparently took it upon itself to make my life a living hell, and leave me none the wiser. I've asked everyone that could've possibly been involved with it if they had been... but everyone said no. It was me, and I've no recollection of the action that formed two more scars. One on the skin, another on my heart.

What will come of this? I couldn't tell you if I knew. I have a feeling the consequences are going to haunt me for all the span my memory can encompass. The vibrant joy I felt all year, being able to be so close to her even with all the distance between us, is fading like the sunset... it's warmth and hospitality slowly drifting below the horizon... So, too, goes my hope.

What support I do have is greatly appreciated, considering all the things I've put those people through... Beating the crap out of Todd for bad-mouthing her was a highlight. There's a lot more to be thankful for than sorry... I may have forever lost the dearest one to my heart, but I have friends who are willing to stand by, people that are willing to listen, even when I paid no heed to them. I don't deserve such luxury.

Categories: rant [t]

tag
» ieatsharpobjects on 2005-06-25 08:25:21

thats right.
» ieatsharpobjects on 2005-06-25 08:40:35

ahhh dangit. i forgot to do that. anyway i like you're NuTang, it's pretty spiffy. anyway i must go frollick around NuTangs to tag someone
» ieatsharpobjects on 2005-06-26 09:04:03

heyy
i had a scar on my heart... its gone now.. but i hope you feel better... the great thing about nutang is you can say wutever you want. >.0
» ashiunslick on 2005-06-28 01:39:57

I find that it tends to be better to listen to friends if they tell ya something about someone you're after. If you have feelings for a person, it's easy to have TOO much hope and romanticize the situation, which means you put a blindfold on yourself and just run straight, if you get my metaphor. I've done my fair share of wild things for love, though, and I've survived it, so I'm certain if you've got enough willpower, you'll be back on track after a while. Just try to focus on something in the meantime.
» DarkDragonKnight on 2005-07-01 09:53:32

Sorry, you do not have permission to comment.

If you are a member, try logging in again or accessing this page here.