Listening to: Dig - Incubus
Feeling: regretful

I would just prefer to have a blog where i don't know anyone on it. Except one person, but she never posts on here anymore, haha.
I just would like to express my thoughts clearly without having a password protected blog so i can get feedback from other people.
I love all the nutangers I've talked to since I've had this! So, I will totally continue to update this, but as for the more serious stuff
I just don't think its a good idea.

:)
But, how has the first month of the new year been treating everyone?! Let me know!

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Alright, guys. The time has officially come. It's New Years Eve. I seriously cannot believe how fast this decade has gone by. I was just talking with my dad the other day, trying to remember what we were doing on Y2K, a whole 10 years ago. Seriously? Wow, ten years already. Always, around this event I am completely obsessed with the concept of time. I mean, let's be real for a second, can anyone honestly already believe it's about to be 2010. I feel like it has barely been 2009. I feel like I got jipped. Not to even mention, a whole decade. Where have these past ten years gone? What have I accomplished? In ten years, I've successfully gone through elementary, middle, and high school. Maybe not with the best grades, but damnit, at least I did it, right? There are so many people out there that constantly drop out, so there is one thing I've accomplished. I've made so many friends in the past ten years. Some I'm actually still friends with, many I'm not. Time just helps you to realize who will really be there for you in the long run, and those who have been around for about 4+ years, thank you for everything because that is some serious business right there. I appreciate each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart. There have been many, and when I say many I really mean MANY downs & ups, especially this past year. It's been a struggle and I'm going to leave it at that. What's done is done and we cannot go back and change it, so why think about it so much? So, to think about what this past decade has really been like, this is the decade where I've done most of my growing up. I hope that in 2020 I can look back on that decade and really marvel at how I've not only built on the foundation that I've already laid out for myself, but how I've branched off, and how I'm probably nothing like I thought I was going to be ten years ago. New Years Eve makes me very reminiscent and I like that :)

Now onto some resolutions.


* Lose 50 lbs. I believe this is totally possible and it's just my goal amount. If I can do more, the better!
* Have a better backbone. I don't really stand up for myself like I know I should, and I need to go outside my box as much as possible.
* Express my thoughts and emotions clearer. I am terrible at getting my point across and I am very hot-headed. Never good.
* Cut soda out of my life. I don't know why I drink it. I want to drink water, my hot teas and juices with very little sugar.
* Meditate at least once a day, as soon as I wake up, or before I go to bed. I feel like I never sleep well anymore, and this will help me clear my mind so I can either start my day off with good energy, or sleep well.
* Do at least one physical activity a day. I just got a puppy, so I could at least walk him once a day. Easy.
* Be more organized. I am SO completely disorganized, including my room. It's always a mess. I think it would help my mood better if my room wasn't so messy.



I think that is a decent list and I am very determined to stick with it. I believe that I can do this, and it's about time I get shit done with my life. :D

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I just can't think of anything to make as the title. I know I said I'd come back and update about Christmas and the puppy, but fuck, I am so pissed right now. I just txt'd my friend, whom I have yet to spend a decent amount of time with over break and I just said "yo yo yiggidy yo" to be stupid, duh. I get back a "What?" which, is typically out of character for them so I just said back "well, sometimes i use that to say hello but whatev. i was just seeing what you were up to later, but its cool" Apparently, that was me, attacking them? I fucking beg to differ. I get back something like "I'm sorry that not everyone can shit out rainbows on command," with a description of where they're going and how long they'll be gone till. Me, being the person I am, get immediately offended, I mean they should know by now that woah, I'm not just going to randomly attack you. I just responded for them to tone the hostility down and not put their bad attitude on me. That's when they told me they felt attacked. Fuck that, I mean come on. Let's be serious for one second. We've been friends for how long now? Best friends, might I add. Your shit is getting out of control, and you need to tone it down. Do not get persnickity with me when all I want to fucking do is finally get a chance to talk with you, something that I've been wanting to do for some time now. Something that almost no one else has been able to succeed in doing as well as you do. That's all I want, and now you're just being a complete dick to me and I do no appreciate it. At this point, I'm just ready for you to go back to school and realize that you actually do miss me, and call me and we actually have semi-meaningful conversations because that seems about the only way we've been able to actually talk.
I just miss my best friend, is all. I'm sorry.

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People who complain. And I'm not talking about the normal complaining that most people do on a regular basis. I'm talking, full on complaining about EVERYTHING. All the time. 24/7. I just, I honestly don't get it. Yeah, I do complain more than I probably should, but come ON. There is a limit and some people seriously reach their quota for the month in one hour. It is absolutely ridiculous. It hinders myself, as well as others from possibly having a good time when all we get to do is hear you whine. Stop it. I'm sorry that things are not EXACTLY your way, but for fuck's sake, nothing will ever be. Learn to get over it, and shut up about it now so people who are actually enjoying their lives can go ahead and do so. Just stop. There is no need. It's not cute to be pathetic. It doesn't make you seem more interesting, it just makes people angry when you are a constant downer on EVERYTHING. I'm not exaggerating. I wish I was, really I do.
Whatever, I'm just completely done with it. /rant

I'm going to be back, probably once I wake up to update about my puppy :3 and what I got for Christmas. I hope everyone had a great holiday :D

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listening to: Time To Pretend - MGMT
feeling: overworked

I haven't really updated as much as I've been wanting to. I've been M.I.A. from my own life since I started working at Bath & Bodyworks. Which has its pros and cons. Pros being you know, money. Cons being, I hardly see my friends which is pretty big to me.
Other than that, life is going alright. We just had to put down one of our dogs we've had for about 9 years or so. It was for the best, but it's just so hard. But, we are looking for a new puppy, which is exciting of course. We have another dog, but she's about 14 and it's pretty much touch and go anymore with her. We're never quite sure if we're going to wake up and still have her here. As long as I've been alive we've always had at least 2 dogs. It's so weird to only have one dog and one cat right now. It's really quiet. I don't like it that much. Hopefully everything will work out soon enough.
Can you all believe Christmas is THIS FRIDAY? Man, I know I can't at all. I mean, shit. Where did this year go? Nowhere fast, that's where. I'm just going to be glad to see this year leave. I'm ready for a fresh new start. It's about that time. I'm going to be 20 this coming year. I need to get shit done with my life.

Anyhow, Christmas guys. What are you doing? What are you hoping to get on Christmas morning?

Personally, Ididn't ask for much because we've spent so much money on cars this year that we really couldn't afford a sweet Christmas like we normally could have. I asked for some loose-leaf tea and anything Harry Potter and Alice In Wonderland.

Keep on keepin' on!

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Listening To; Winter Song - Sara Bareilles & Ingrid Michaelson
Feeling; Relaxed

Hello, all! :D So, things are going well. Yesterday was my last day of classes for 31 days! Not like I'm counting or anything, hahaha. So freaking happy. But, I didn't get to sleep in this morning seeing as I work 9:45-1:45 today. That's okay. I am perfectly alright with that because I love my job. Next week I only have 2 days completely off. I really hope they decide to keep me on. Number one, I love that job. Number two, I just really do not want to go through the hassle of looking for another job. It is way too much.
On another note, I LOVE MY JEEP. It is seriously the greatest. I just need a new cd player. It just doesn't play cds. Other than that? Fantastic.
Also, so ready for everyone to be home this weekend. SO so so so so sososososososososo ready. I'm just tired of seeing the same faces all the time/not seeing the faces I want to see. Just not cool.
It's finally getting cooler! :D I hope it snows. It probably won't but I REALLY hope it does. I miss living up north and waking up to a world of white.

I will definitely try and keep up with this over break, but I know it'll be a challenge since I'll probably be busy. Or, at least I hope I'll be busy this break!

Keep on keepin' on.

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