Obviously a guy wrote this
If College-Themed Porn Were Real
Situation One: The Naughty Student
Cindi, an attractive student with a large rack, walks up to the desk of her professor.
Porn
Cindi: Is there anything I can do to raise this grade?
Professor: Some students do extra credit work.
Cindi: (has sex with him)
Reality
Cindi: Is there anything I can do to raise this grade?
Professor: Some students do extra credit work.
Cindi: Like what?
Professor: A seven-to ten-page report about the economic principles behind trade rules in a Micronesian country of your choosing.
Cindi: Oh. That makes sense and is an appropriate extra credit assignment for the course.
Situation Two: The Hot Teacher
Paul, a student in his late twenties, walks up to the desk of his teacher, Professor Mandy, who has enormous breasts.
Porn
Paul: You wanted to see me after class, professor?
Professor Mandy: Yes. I need to test your performance.
Paul: How?
Professor Mandy: (fellates Paul)
Reality
Paul: You wanted to see me after class, professor?
Professor Mandy: Yes. I need to test your performance.
Paul: How?
Professor Mandy: A series of tests based on the material covered in this course.
Paul: Could I just have sex with you instead?
Professor Mandy: (sues Paul)
Situation Three: The Sorority
Between two and a half-dozen attractive coeds sit on a large bed, in nighties which barely contain their ample bosoms.
Porn
Head Sorority Girl: Let's have a naked pillowfight!
Assistant Head Sorority Girl: And practice kissing!
Sorority Girls: (begin doing those things)
Reality
I kind of assume this is what actually happens in sororities.
Situation Four: The Curious Freshman
A very attractive freshman girl named Candi sits on a bed with her boyfriend, Brett. Did I mention that Candi has boobs the size of overripe grapefruit? She does.
Porn
Brett: Let's try anal sex.
Candi: Okay.
Reality
Brett: Let's try anal sex.
Candi: No.
Situation Five: The Janitor
A strangely-muscular janitor knocks on the door of Bambi, a girl whose low-cut shirt reveals a veritable explosion of cleavage.
Porn
Janitor: Do those pipes need cleaning?
Bambi: (apparently this is all the pillow talk she needs to have all kinds of sex with him)
Reality
Janitor: Perhaps I should have stayed in school.
Bambi: I can see how you could be disappointed with your station in life.
Happy Independence Day!
21:38Categories: jokes [t]
ROFLMAOSOSAC (rolling on floor laughing my ass off shitting out small asian children)
» BlackFox on 2006-07-13 09:56:54
Excellent entry. Very witty, and I liked the progression.
» Bartholomew on 2006-07-13 10:18:26
Very nice. I'm still laughing.
» KBKarma (194.46.253.206) on 2006-07-28 04:24:15
i love it. ili ili ili ili.
» bananaface on 2007-02-19 08:55:39
hahahaha
» Zanzibar on 2007-02-20 07:21:28
this is amazing too bad you didn't write it. haha.
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» Steve (201.20.18.165) on 2010-09-05 04:29:12
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