There isn�t a single thing about me that is good, but I am glad that you are.
I take everything for granted but I am glad that you don�t.
I have lost my need to pray but I thank God you haven�t.
I take refuge in the material momentary illusion of joy, yet rejoice in the wealth of baseless joy I see in you.
I have no time for sunsets, but smile at how important they to you.
I am selfish in all I do, but I would put everything aside if you needed me to.
I will never be a perfect husband or father or brother or friend, but you make me want to try.

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You were my beginning here,
but there is nothing left to do.
I waited for the rain to come,
but the drought just continued.
I wasn't strong to begin with and now i am weaker still.
Your love for blood intrigues me,
but even for you i cannot stand still.
You were my beginning here,
but now i watch you leave.

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I see you, though you are not by my side.
I watch you, from a distance but all the same I�m watching.
I still inhale the physical senses that form the memories of you.
I see them vividly when I sit by myself.
I wanted to stand by you forever; but perhaps we needed to walk our own paths to grow.
I love you. From the first time I saw you; watched you.
I love you. Even now that you are no longer mine.
I love you.

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It wasn�t fair of me, but I loved you.
I see you around me still, not often but when I do� I see you.
I understand your need to stand, but you always stood tall even when you didn�t know it.
There was always so much you did� that you do� that moves me.
I see you growing� changing� living.
You were never the journey you were the destination.
It wasn�t fair of me, but I loved you.

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The pitter patter on the glass suggests the kind of day, poetic really in its portrayal of my mood.
Days to weeks then months, but still consciousness each day begins with you.
All around me roam suggestions of your form, hints of your smell, whispers of your voice and the lingering of your words.
I dress in a daze; sip coffee in a trance.
But as I step out of my space into the world, I put on the smile and hide behind the lies that everyone wants to hear.

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Faded walls in a musty room, it's 12pm yet no light shine through.
You lie there naked in a cold bed.
The sheets are damp, the springs are dead.
You toy with thoughts of suicide as you sip on jack and puff on lights.
You think of all that's let you down, your hopes and dreams are dead for now.
You hold a gun, that's all you do.
You may hate your life but you're a coward too.
You think of him, but he not of you.
You ask, "What's the fucks wrong with me?"� But you know don't you?

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