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friend
hate me for me, rather than love me for who i cannot be!
cowardess
Tear me apart instill in me your pain For I will bear it for you
on life
If growing up means giving up childish ways; forever a child then I will remain!
on love
Do you think I would let something as dull, as you trying to kill me stop me from loving you?
Satiety (Sa*ti"e*ty)
The state of being satiated or glutted; fullness of gratification, either of the appetite or of any sensual desire; fullness beyond desire; an excess of gratification which excites wearisomeness or loathing; repletion; satiation. "In all pleasures there is satiety." Hakewill. "But thy words, with grace divine Imbued, bring to their sweetness no satiety." Milton. Synonyms -- Repletion; satiation; surfeit; cloyment.
truths
Why is it that the passionate are so passionless?
Oops
There is no man, however wise, who has not at some period of his youth said things, or lived in a way the consciousness of which is so unpleasant to him in later life that he would gladly, if he could, expunge it from his memory.

Marcel Proust
huh?
Friday. 9.23.05 1:18 am
I need an end to this.
I am unsure, if serenity be my name than death; an everlasting jewel prevail.
Please explain what is going on.

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you and me...
Sunday. 9.4.05 8:57 pm
You are a picture of my fondest memories,
And a reminder of what I fear the most.
You bring out the best in me,
But also you bring out that I care not to boast.
I go to sleep praying that when I wake,
You will just be another person.
Or better; that you will be no one.



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the man in the basement
Saturday. 9.3.05 3:28 pm

Arrest me take me to hell. I deserve to be locked and the key thrown away.
I have done so much wrong that no amount of repentance can suffice.
I need to suffer, burn, hurt, grieve and mourn.
How I hate you. Creatures living under my flesh; for it is you that make me stray.
You that make me break the vows my mind has made.
But I have no control for I am pathetic, weak, useless...
No one can I blame but me. For it is I who let them reside in me.
It is I who lives in the basement...


*** for Tamal my Turkish friend

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knocking at my basement door....
Thursday. 9.1.05 12:12 pm
There is a man living in my basement. He pays me for this privilege. The only entrance to the basement is outside the house. And the heavy oak doors that are about 45 degrees off the ground can be locked from the outside.



Last week I was watching TV when I decided that it would be nice to lock him down there; just for laughs. I locked the door and waited next to it while reading a magazine. I probably sat there for about an hour and a half but no shouting or knocks were heard. Suddenly my mom shouts from inside that my girlfriend was on the phone. I run in and forget all about my practical joke. While I was having dinner a couple of hours ago my dad comments that he hadn’t seen James (the man living in my basement) for the past few days.

Now I am facing a quandary should I go see if the door is still locked and if it is, should i unlock it?

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I hate you... but you are not a worm!
Wednesday. 8.31.05 10:49 am
Breath taken away as the allure of your form seduces me.
Your movement, touch, speech and smell are intoxicating.
Yet you seem so unaware of your appeal, or at least so it appears.
You move in my mind like a plague leaving only a single imprint.
But in time you will realize that loneliness is a beautiful thing.
I hate you…

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dilapidated
Wednesday. 8.31.05 12:27 am
Where have all the poets gone?
I'm sober please oh please intoxicate me!

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