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Look How Confussed I Am

Age. 31
Gender. Female
Ethnicity. White
Location Troy, PA
School. Other
» More info.
A Better One Of Me
Image Hosted by www.glowfoto.com Rock On Dear
Kevin, In My Favorite Shirt
Image Hosted by www.glowfoto.com I had that shirt...but it was too big for me :(. Btw, i stole the picture from Erika's webshots
Image Hosted by www.glowfoto.com just thought that this was a cute pic of him
Dave and A7x
Thursday. 3.3.05 9:02 am
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Wednesday. 3.2.05 7:09 pm
okay Skyler, what you said about Mrs. Weis is SO wrong. I never needed to read that. You're lucky that i know you and know that you are joking because i would be so afraid of you if i didnt. God, you just want to make me sick huh? Anywho, Erika i made you a present!! I hope that you like it, i'll bring it to school tomorrow, and if you dont like it i'll cry because i broke my thumb nail making it for you. I figured since i was making myself the same thing and since i didnt get you anything for your bday that i would make you some too. Aren't you proud of me! I thought of someone else, lol. They are pretty. (Purse, what purse?? lol, i dont know why i thought of that. and Yeah, you'd better walk away! right Shawn?) Anywho we actually had school today, two hour delay but still, and we have fricken cameras every where and it freaks me out. Jordie and I are gonna tear them down because they freak him out too. I'm gonna get in trouble for something stupid, like flipping Fryan off or somethign, and i dont even mean it when i do it, but i wont even think and...yeah. One is pointed straight at my locker, they amek me nervous. Im gonna have a breakdown or something and sue the school. Then we can make it into a Skate Park! that would kick ass, even though i cant skateboard. Anywho, im gonna go, got other stuff to do. Oh Skyler dont forget that you have to teach me tabs next week, im gonna remind you every day. Fuck all you assholes, hehe, im so nice

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Tuesday. 3.1.05 6:37 pm
Today was pretty boring, no school though...that kicked ass. I actually made a meal today. I'm a pretty good cook, never would have known though because im too lazy to ever make anything. Was listening to Tommy Lee, damn he is hot, of course his penis is more famous then he is but oh well...every guy's dream huh. Shawn, how did you know what my user id was? and why did you add me to your friends? we never even talk anymore now that we dont have class and you and Erika arent together. it doesnt bother me or anything, just kinda surprised. Anywho, im really bored right now. Amber Hostetler called my house today, eww, thank god it wsa a wrong number. I cant believe that i was ever friends with her. I wish that all the guys were around, i used to love that, just chillin with them. Too bad..anywho. I hope that we dont have school again tomorrow...we have Mrs. Weis (BITCH!!!) for english, but only for tomorrow so i REALLY hope we dont have school. Anyone that lives around Elmira or within driving distance of it should head up to Hopkins on March 19 (2-9pm) and listen to the bands playing, my friends (well some of them are my friends) are one of the bands Beyond Mistakes...others are From These Ashes, Kill Concept, Lost Eden, Entrail, Dead Center, Norshallidespair, Eva Anexora, Freak Matter and Bent. You have to pay 5 dollars to get in but it should be pretty cool. If you dont know where Hopkins is its at Southside close to the Pizza Hut. If you still dont know where im talking about just go to hopkinsstyouthcenter.tripod.com or www.elmiramusic.com . You can skate there too, it should be kick ass, probably will be prety packed though, the place is small and all the bands have to have their equipment. Anywho, im out...just thought i'd advertise my friend's band

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Sunday. 2.27.05 7:04 pm
A friend of my family died today. I'm not really sure what happened, just old age I guess. I feel so bad for his wife though, i can't even come close to understanding what she's feeling. The closest I can come is when Mike died, but i was never anything more than friends with him and that killed me, but to lose a husband has to be so much worse. I want to do something but i know from experience that hugs and saying im so sorry doesnt help at all. It kinda makes things worse in a way, you dont want pity when it comes to things like that. Its weird, you'd give anything in the world to just be able to spend one more day with them or even just be able to talk to them again or have a chance to say goodbye. I think that if i could bring Mike back for anything it would simply be to say goodbye and to let him know that we all love and miss him. Losing someone is jsut so unfair, i know that it has to happen but it tears at you for so long. Another friend of the family lost her daughter and i could tell how it affected the rest of her family. Even now, after all the time that has past. I guess I understand that though, its not something that just fades away over time, its always right there, you never forget. I mean how could you? Nothing will ever be exactly the same again, you'll always have the tear in your heart that never stops hurting. Some people grow closer after a death I guess, i wasnt closer to anyone after Mike died, i pushed people away because i didnt want to be close to anyone and lose them too. But some people dont think that way so maybe they get closer to their families. I guess that you just have to remember something that a friend told me after watching how distant i was with everyone i cared about; the people we love are somewhere so much better making other beings smile with their presence, and that we should grieve they are not here with us, not because they died. And that you just have to think of all the good memories they gave you and smile. That was something that really helped me when i truly needed it. To tell the truth though it makes me cry everytime i read the letter she wrote that in. I miss my friend more than i could ever explain in words...believe me, i have tried and words diminish what i feel. i feel for anyone that has lost anyone that they loved, its a horible feeling to live with. its honestly true, you will never realize what you have until its gone and you have no way to get it back, and thats the worst part, knowing its simply gone, just like that.

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Simply bored
Saturday. 2.26.05 6:26 pm
Yeah, im just bored. I haven't done anything at all today. Layed in bed and slept for most of it. On www.purevolume.com right now, listening to some kick-ass music. still haven't figured out how to get the pictures and space for lyrics on the sides but oh well. Listening to The Exies right now, wanted The Rasmums, but they're not on the site, too bad. In case you dont know me very well (or at all) I love music so you'll probably see a lot about it on here, music is my life. Almost anything rock, punk or metal i love. New stuff, artists that most people dont know Of course no one around here really knows anything other than what's on MTV or Fuse so it's not hard to find good music people dont know. Found Avenged Sevenfold about a year or so ago and they are still pretty much my favorite band this reminds me of them. IF you know who the band is you'll know why. Kinda getting bored with all my stuff out of my room, we need to get the paint and get everything done soon so all my stuff can be back up. All my pictures and drawings (from friends, I cant draw worth crap). Watching Barbershop 2, I'm incredibly good at multi-tasking. Guess I'll go for tonight. later everybody

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Friday. 2.25.05 7:49 pm
OMG, i can't figure out how to get this stupid template right. I want to have the pictures and everything on the sides but they wont show up and i cant figure out how to get them. Thank God that today is friday, maybe i'll get some sleep over the weekend, i only got about 3 hours of sleep last night. Oh well, i'll figure it out sometime. If nothing else sleeping pills work pretty good. i'm gonna go and try to figure the template thing out. I'll write more later, if i have time.

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"What's wrong with me? (Yeah, oh yeah) Why can't I see? (Yeah, oh yeah) I'm so addicted to you...and you're such a dick to me --Lit "Addicted."

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