Thursday. 4.14.11 1:28 am
i really don't get it. it's the spring blues for those who are single. At least, for myself and others around me.
First semester of school, everyone is set on being single, because they want to be able to flirt with each other. Little do they know, the flirting brings relationships. And then, everyone who flirted with each other are together by second semester. You see couples everywhere, and all those who didn't flirt are left to see PDA all over the place.
Problem? I hate knowing that I really want a boyfriend right now. I sound SO lame. I talked to my room mates about it, and she says that's just how it is sometimes. Our hormones tell us it's time to have babies, so of course my hormones are telling me to find a companion. (Not that i want to have babies, or do any act that causes babies to be made).
Also, there is this saying on campus. it is "ring by spring". Basically, you meet a person your freshman year, you get with them by sophomore or junior year, and by senior year, the guy proposes by spring semester. Then you get married over the summer, and have a happy life with them forever. It's pretty much the life of a Christian Campus I believe. As if it isn't pressure enough to have a boyfriend, they have this saying that breathes into the minds of us girls. GAH, stop brain washing meeee.
And yes, my school holds bridal shows. Different wedding venues and wedding dress companies come to my school once a year-in the SPRING- to sell to women who are getting married soon! yippie!
Sorry, very rant-ful tonight. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I hate knowing that I actually desire to be with someone, when there is so much to be done in my own life. I want to finish school first, and I want to be financially stable. I want to make sure that my future husband is the next guy that i date. And in general, I don't want to open up to someone, because then they have the ability to hurt me.
It's really lonely. Especially, when you see girls skipping down the walkway holding hands with their boyfriends.
Honestly though, I am not ready. I want to be spiritually fit with God, and I honestly want the guy to be spiritually on fire for God as well. Right now, I am struggling with my faith. I'm apathetic, and that isn't the condition that I want my heart to be in when I meet this guy. I want it to be brand new and whole, and personally, I feel only God can heal my heart to be brand new.
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late night blog (and i mean REALLY late)
Monday. 4.11.11 6:04 am
so it is 3:06AM here, (even though my time says 6AM on this blog. i'll change that later lol)
I just finished an essay, and it isn't the best, but it doesn't suck! (i hope!). And I have a quiz tomorrow in my nursing class that I honestly have NO motivation to study for. I'll probably cram tomorrow, and worry all morning about this quiz. But right now, it's whatever! xD
just some random jumbles in my brain going on right now:
today was a bit weird. At least, two things(or people, either one) were weird today! It was just weird seeing people all over each other. Well, at least, seeing one person all up on one person. it's either cute, or awkward. But usually, if you do it too often, it's awkward.
AND dreams are wack. juss sayin. i had a dream someone i know kissed me on the cheek. BAH. don't do that to me, please >___< kthnxbai.
yeah, that is all. i have class in approximately five hours. woops lol.
something in me feels like this blog makes no sense, and i won't know how much sense it does not make until i read it tomorrow.
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