i have 2 more questions for my homework assignment. its due tomorrow man!
i have to email it to my teacher -_-;;

i'll jsut do it tomorrow and email him when im done, because i cant focus.
like really..i've been doing this ever since 5 o clock today, and so basically it has been 8 hours of doing my homework. ugh! lol.

but im good, and how are u? :]]]]

i just cant wait for church tomorrow<3.
now, its time to talk to my savior, goodniiiiight

x33 Daneva

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im mad at myself. because well...i maek ti obvious for other people i like him.
but my intentions of talkign to him when he is alone or whatever is strictly because he is alone, and no one is talking to him. Thats the reason im around him, thats the reason we talk. Not because i like him. He's my friend, he's becoming a close friend, and im glad. And yeah, i have feelings for him, but i'd rather have a friendship. I'd rather be a good friend who can connect with him that be a girl who likes him and wants to be with him. I dont want to come off as being flirtatious. I want to come off as a good friend of his, a friend who just wants to talk. I mean, we are becoming great friends. I'm glad! but i jsut dont want people to think im getting close to him for the sake that i like him, but for the sake that i want to be closer as a friend with him.

but i guess my actions of coming up to him and spending my night with him was screaming out "you like him". but its ok lol. im just...rambling.

anyways, today was GREAT man. it was rosemary's debut. I do wish that well, i talked to my girl friends more than him...but yeah. i didnt =/. Me and him had a discussion. Because well, supposedly word went around that he likes my other friend. People were just like "why dont you talk to her?" including me, because im his friend only remember? lol. And he was like "no" and then i told him she has a boyfriend because...she does lol. And then he was sitting by me, but my other friend wanted to sit in his seat, so he moved to the corner, where she chose to sit by. And i looked at him and we exchanged eye contact and a smile looking back and forth form him to her, knowing that he understands what i mean. Then he calls me over and tells me "stop your sick mind from thinking i want to be in a relationship with her" lol. and he got "mad" at me. and i said sorry for assuming he wants to be with her. and then he said it would take a while for me to be forgiven. Then...after like 20 seconds, he forgave me and as he usually says : "i forgive you, now leave" lol.(inside joke i guess haha). But yeah...and the gals took pics with rosemary and stuff. But the whole night, we kinda went our separate ways, then came back to eachother, split off, and talked to eachother again. over and over it happened. not that i meant to, but i mean, he comes up to me when im alone, i come up to him when hes alone. the whole cycle goes around. I mean, if someone was talking to him in a big group i come in and talk with all of them. Then i leave, and there we are talking again. it just well..happens. part of me wants to just stop being around him, because i dont want people to assume i like him even if its true. I just want to be friends though! like really. we both arent ready for anything to happen, and i dont even know if he feels the same way or not. and even if he did, i wouldnt want to "talk" or go out with him because we are still young, theres time to be with someone after highschool. i just dont know, i....want to just be his friend and talk to him whenever! but we just end up going up to eachother. i need to stop, i want to >.<. why man??? i just dont want to anymore! im worried people will say things...im worried that people will assume, and he wont be my close friend anymore. aah! i just....ergh. im just ranting man! lol. sorry guys, but...its so hard!!

let me just say that...i want to be good friends. then become best friends. and we'll see if we do become best friends. and from there, maybe my feeligns will be gone by then, or i'll like him and he'll like me. but...i dont know

maybe its just me assuming he likes me. anyways...


thats it lol, happy birthday rosemary!
here are some random pictures though. maybe you can guess which one is the guy xD.

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i still have us history homework! its just so..ugh!
i want to just copy people man! like..forreeal!
i should do it tonight & tomorrow! its all due on friday!
so yeah, i gotta pick 2-3 days to do it all!!
my reading too! (atleast my reading for english is easy :])

anyways, my friend left. i wrote him a letter, but i didnt want to sound all sad lol. So i just wrote: "Don't give up, Don't give in" :]]]. I'm sure he'll listen to his officer people xD.

and about my friend . . .
i didn't get to really talk to him today. I was kinda busy. But...we bumped into eachother ^__^.

oh..and i wore heels to church today! i need tog et used to them for rosemary's debut...so you know! haha. But...i went to quiznos afterwards... and..my heel got caught on the seat bar..you know the one at the bottom bewtween the first 2 legs? yeah...i tripped with a drink in my hand xD!! But...i didn't get the spill on me! ^___^. Im so slick! lol. my brother had to clean it up (he works there lol). So its all geeeee :]]]].

well yeah...I should eat and then go off and do some homework! byee guys!

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this is my friend dj. ah man! he's leave for bootcamp tomorrow. im so sad! T__T. it sucks you know? because six months ago, he couldnt wait to leave, and he didnt think anyone was really there for him. but ever since then, we've all gotten closer to him...and now i feel like he really wants to stay. And he doesnt want to see us all sad, because it will make him want to stay more! but i cant help it! i care so much! i mean...im going to miss him alot! he's become a good friend to me...like a brother! he's sucha good guy, he really is. sometimes he's misunderstood, and when he gets angry, its the worst thing ever, but he's such a sweetheart! what a good friend man, really. He's my protector, my friend, and will always be in my heart! (as a friend ofcourse!). I'm just going to miss him. even if its just for 3 months. lol, i remember telling him to catch std's so he can fail his physical. but i know that wont happen lol. oh please God! dont let him have stds! I also remember telling him to...dye his..yeah purple! lol. aaw man! im serious...he's been there for me, and he has trusted me with things. Im gunna miss him! hopefully he comes to church tomorrow!

please please please God! if it is not your will...dont let him go! God please...but if it is, then please God, protect him! protect him when he goes off...protect him, guide him, and use him. you are with him always, and please help him remember that. also let him remember that people are here for him. We all want him to be all he can be, and want him to come back safely. Let him follow the road that leads him to you always...let him...just be ok! Thank you Lord! amen!

anyways...i know he will be alright. He'll be in bootcamp for 3 months! so you know..he'll be fine :]]]. He aslo has a very strong heart, will, mind, soul and body! so its all geeee :]. you go out there and listen to them dj! lol.

anyways...
im happy :].
i know, i know...its lame.
but i like one of my friends. he's one of my close guy friends now. im just...falling for him i guess. Its so weird, because when we started becoming good friends, i could never see myself liking him, or wanting to be with him. But now...after a while...i just came to like him. I mean, i dont go up to him just because i like him. i treat him like other people, or atleast i try you know? we are just..good friends :]]]. im getting mixed signals sometimes...>.<. i dont know if he feels the same way, or he well...just wants to be my friend. well, i dont know. i hope he feels the same way...

well anyways, church tomorrow! gotta wake up early! so let me sleep now! lol

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ugh.
you know when i said i was gunna finish my world history assignment and finish at 2?
well...i didnt even do it! x[.
i know, LAME right? lol.
but im gunna do it tonight, because i told my bestfriends i will, and to not call me today, or ask me to do anything, because im gunna 'finish my homework'. It turns out, it took me 3 hours just to read the first chapter of the book im reading for english! xD. So many distractions i guess thats why. I stopped, watched tv, did some chores and just stared at pages and daydreamed when i was sappose to be finished reading it in like an hour. But im done with it! I'm glad! But man...the next chapter is like 50 pages! =[. So I'm going to split that chapter and read it in two days. :].

anyways, i feel so fat! xD. I cheated on my diet! and ate...
REESES PUFFS!
& ICE CREAM!!
not that bad really, but i mean...
i need to cut down on the sugar, and the rice.

i heard that rice expands your stomach, is that true?

anyways...im gunna go jogging tomorrow. Just sneak out early in the morning without my parents knowing so i can run for an hour or so. Just me and my workout playlist xD. Just around the block a couple of times. I need to man, like...REALLY. and...do lots of sit ups! Gosh, i feel like doing some right now!
but i've got homework -_-.
so goodbye for not Nutang! I'll blog some more tomorrow! :]

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so today, i went to return my old dress with my brother.
i was happy because well...i guess it wasnt that great lol.
Then I went to Micah's house. Over there, Micah did my hair and makeup. Well...it was the spur of the momment kinda thing xD. I usually dont curl my hair nor wear makeup, but she did a very good job! The eye liner was light, and the blush and stuff was even ;]. My hair actually stayed curled for a while! I was soo glad! lol.
(Maybe i will have pictures later? When Micah uploads them xD)
Anyways, after a while...Heather, Cortney and Bemi pick us up and we go over the the Modesto Mall :D. Well...we thought FOrever21 would make us happy and let us find beautiful brown dresses, but our hopes were crushed...finding that the dress weren't that nice. SO we mope around MOdesto for a while, and then i find a dress that i want. It was 62 bucks and i only had 40 though...so Micah spotted me. I owe her 23 bucks man! lol. Well its all good, im not mad! I will pay her back! Prolly tomorrow :].
So Bemi and Heather still needed a dress, and we all headed to tracy. We were walking through the mall and we found little cellphone trinkets once again! Heather bought a winnie the poo, Cortney bought a pokemon, and Micah bought a chicken little :]. Anyways, after that, Bemi bought a dress from JCPenny for 20 bucks! but she didnt like it much, so she wanted to return it when we got back to Stockton if she found a nice dress at the mall in Stockton. After that, Bemi and Cortney bought Thai food...but they didn't give them alot, and the rice was hard :[. I think that place is going out of business soon. Well anyways, Heather (the driver) didnt find anything she liked, so we went to marshalls in Stockton to check. No dresses there, so we traveled to dillards, where Heather finally found really nice dresses ^__^. I heart the dress she chose! so pretty! lol.
Then...we went to my house and i ate! yum! i was hungry! lol. Then we all went on computers and watched the charm school reunion.

so all of us have nice dresses, im happy and relieved. One thing off of my list. Now, i need to finish up my homework! lol. I'm determined to finish it tonight! the FIRST worksheet for AP US History :]
Tonight man, is the night to finish! No distractions this time! lol. I will finish by 2 o clock! haha.




stockton dillards

FACT: There are only 2 Dillard's in California! And us Lucky Stocktonians have one of them! lol. Well...the other one is in reno :] haha.
i feel special xD

oh! and for Rosemary's birthday, i might sing hawak kamay..but i dont know how to speak tagalog! (my own language) lol. So how am i sappose to sing it? haha

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