listening to: Everybody Else 'In Memoriam'
mood: lonely
So, I've been home for five days now. Yup, five whole days...and I've gotten a little bit of color to my skin, which is nice. I was really done with being pastey. I'm not bored. I read a whole book already. I sometimes forget how much I love reading. I guess it was hard for me to find time when I was at school.
Now that I'm home, I realize just how much I miss my friends. Christine and Alex would spend at least one night on the weekends playing board games with Court and me. No one here plays board games with me and they think I'm strange because I enjoy it so much. I even miss my crazy staff and the nights of duty, just because I got to talk to other people. And my ridiculous floor...I miss all of them, too. It was something to do, something so I knew that I wasn't alone in this busy world. So yes, I've discovered that at school I had some pretty awesome friends and I do miss them to pieces. Being here isn't so bad, though. I did see my friend, Nicole, the other night and that was enjoyable. Sometimes I forget just how important some people are to my life.
Let's see...there are so many things going through my head right now...I can't focus on anything. Maybe I'll be able to pinpoint somethings in the next few days.
I love all of my friends and miss several of them sooooo much.

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Dear Summer,

Here I am, ready to welcome you with open arms. I'm not sure what feels different, or why I'm so willing to embrace you, but, all the same, I'm ready. I feel the change you're going to bring, summer, and I'm excited about it. You're not just any summer, but the summer that ends my undergraduate, responsibility-free chapter, and opens the one that brings me to adulthood. To be honest, you're rather intimidating.
I still haven't really looked for a job because I don't want to admit that my college career is over. I'm excited to come home and spend time with my friends, but I know once they're all heading back to school, I'll be sad that you're over and I'm not going back with them.
On a high note, summer, I'll get to spend time with my brother, which I haven't done in a while. I'll also get to see my wonderful friends and begin the new part of my life right where I left off; the same spot from which I ran away. Maybe I'll find some healing there. Maybe I'll find some closure.
So, summer, come as you will, and perhaps I'll find something spectacular in your days. The warm days bring a smile to my face and I'm happy as I tread slowly on your heals.

Love Always,
Jamie

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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mood: happy
listening to: Butch Walker, This is the Sweetest Little Song

2 months and 11 days until my life changes and I get to end another chapter of my story. I'm so very excited and nervous at the same time. I still have a lot to figure out. I don't really know what I want to do next or where I want to go, but I'm sure I'll figure it out.
On a good note, I'm happy. The weather is great. I know it's not going to last, but I'm still glad for now. Classes are going decently. I'm a bit over it for now, I need spring break so badly. I've been taking classes since January 3rd because of minimester, so I'm more burnt out than normal for this time in the semester. Also, I haven't been home since the end of December. Between tests and being and RA, I haven't had the chance to see my mother. I miss her so much.
I went to the Inner Harbor yesterday because it was so nice out. It was perfect. Courtney and I met up with one of her friends for dinner, then we wandered around by Federal Hill for a while. We dreamt of what life would be like if we had money and could afford those gorgeous homes. It was so incredible. Then we walked up Federal Hill, took pictures, and swang on the swing set. It was breath-taking. We have our awful moments of bitter fighting, but yesterday was just one of those days that I'll remember for a long time. I was happy. We were happy.
So, 22 is 8 days away. I'm excited. I'm pulling for a good year. I'm not sure what will happen, or what my future holds, but each year has brought so many great things to my life. Of course it brings the bad, too, but I'm ready for some more changes in my life and I feel like 22 holds them. I'll miss my friends from school since I'll be home, but I get to spend it with my other friends, which is important to me. They've always been there for me and I'm glad that we still get to share those things.

Oh, and my girl got me tickets to see Butch Walker for my birthday!!! Yay!! I'm so excited for him. And I'm excited for her to see Butch Walker. He's amazing live!!

i love christine. she rocks. <---from christine

Okay, I'm going to play the Sims now since I'm addicted.

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