listening to: Buckcherry "Sorry"
Good morning!

It is a good morning, and I'll tell you why...it's Friday and my dad is coming to see me today. I'm pretty excited because he'll be the first person, besides Courtney, to see my place. That's right...I have an apartment! My very own place! It's fabulous. I'm really happy about it. I live right up the road from two of my friends, and although I have yet to see them, once I get situated, I plan on seeing them a lot!
What else is going on? Oh yes...my job. I can't believe this is the end of my third week here. I feel like I've made some pretty good connections with my coworkers. Some, of course, more than others, but everyone is nice. I still have a lot to learn, but they keep me very busy.
Courtney and I are getting along much better now that I have my own place. It amazes me how much that changes things. Suddenly the fact that we don't HAVE to live on top of each other changes how we act towards one another. It makes me very happy. Who knows? Maybe things will work out after all.
I'm a little sick. I'm trying to convince myself that it's only allergies, but I think it might actually be a cold. I bought some Claritin, and it doesn't seem to be helping. But i'll pretend it does help and just go with it.
There's so many things going on, and yet it feels like things have slowed down. I mean, moving, new job...that's a lot in itself, but for the first time in my life I don't feel overwhelmed. I feel like I can handle most of whatever comes my way and that I'll be okay. In a month I managed to get everything I wanted and I'm really proud of myself. Who knows what I'll be able to accomplish in the next year. I'm really excited to find out, though.

Comment! (1) | Recommend!

listening to: All Time Low 'Six Feet Under the Stars'
mood: low
Let's see. It's been over a month since I've updated this thing. Here's what's new:
~I've moved to Maryland, for good.
~I have a job with a mortgage company, and I love it.
~I've made some great new friends, and got in touch with some fabulous old ones.
~etc


My living situation isn't so fabulous right now, but I'm hopefully going to sign a lease soon and get a place of my very own. With all of these fabulous changes in my life, I don't know what to do next. I suppose just enjoy it all.
Have I mentioned my want thing? Oh yes, i have...in practically every entry. So it has yet to fail me, and I'm going to keep using it. There are a few things I want, but they are things I can't verbalize. They are just things I feel; things I know will happen once I open myself up a bit more.
On the 29th, Drop Dead, Gorgeous, my cousin's band, will be in Baltimore so I'll be able to see him again. I'm pretty excited. I really miss him.
It's nice at this job...there's no one standing over my shoulder making sure I'm doing work. They give me something to do, I do it, then I answer phones and use the computer. I have my very own desk. I feel almost like an adult. I'm learning lots about the mortgage business.
Tomorrow I'm going to see Resident Evil 3. It's a stupid zombie movie, but I saw the first two with my brother so I feel like I should see the 3rd one. And I have some sort of attachment to it. I just wish I was with my brother to see it. Oh well, we'll just have to talk about it on the phone.
I think that's it. I need a little bit of lift today for whatever reason. I think I'm just tired from a whole week of work.

Comment! (0) | Recommend!

mood: contemplative
listening to: Framing Hanley 'Built for Sin'
I'm currently floating between boredom and misery. I do believe that they are tied together, though. If I wasn't bored, I probably wouldn't be miserable. Well, honestly, if I was finding myself somewhere near moving to Towson, I wouldn't be miserable. I'm trying though, it just turns out that I'm over-qualified to do a lot, and under-qualified to do everything else. There seems to be no happy medium.
Okay, my purpose today is two-fold. I think it will end up being two separate, or one divided by some stars (*). First, and foremost, because I find it extremely interesting, is jealousy. Now, I've encountered some serious forms of jealousy in my life, mostly coming from me, but it's very strange being the cause of jealousy. I was asked by a guy I work with to help him make a girl jealous, and although I said no at first, he convinced me to aid him in finding out if she likes him. It started simply; he noticed that she wore open-toed shoes after he mentioned that he really liked feet. They talked for a bit, then he asked her to hang out with him Friday night and she got all shy and couldn't make up her mind. This is where I came in. My goal was to make her a little jealous so she would make up her mind, and, according to him, she would say yes. So I casually mention to the girl who sits next to her that he invited me over. That afternoon, they were out to lunch and she slips into conversation a question asking if he had found anyone else to hang out with. He said he was looking into it. Today I was chatting with him and, not on purpose, we walked through the area where she works. Later she came up to him and said something to the point of, "So, I saw you walking around with your new friend." I know very well that she knows my name, but it's peculiar that she didn't use it when referring to me. Then, and the key to the whole jealousy equation, is when I mentioned to the girl next to her that I decided I was definately going to hang with him (which, I'm not) she has switched and is now giving both of us an attitude.
My question then, is why do we only want something when we can't have it, or when it's wanted by someone else? Also, is it really good to get involved when that's the case because it seems that once we're not wanted by someone else, we're not wanted by that one person. I just find it extremely strange that the situation worked like that. I don't know. I suppose it's new to me to actually see how jealousy begins when I'm on the outside and fully aware of what's happening. I'm just happy that's it's not me who is jealous for once. Now that I see this, maybe I can catch it when it's happening to me. Alrighty, that's it on that subject.

**************

Who thinks God is pissed? I mean, I don't believe in God so much, but I do believe that there are signs everywhere that things aren't going so well here on planet Earth. Don't believe me? Here's what I see these days:

~4 college bound teens killed in Newark, NJ
~6 miners trapped after earthquake
~Minneapolis bridge collapses
~5 year old was shot while fishing with his grandfather after a bullet goes stray from a police officer trying to kill a snake in a tree
~Drunk driver runs over girl, grandma and great-grandma
~Monsoons in India
~19 children killed in suicide bombing
~Earthquake and Flossie hit Hawaii
~Stock market drop

What's happening? How long can we ignore these signs? Is there so much negative energy int he world that bad things are happening in such high numbers? The Universe seems to be saying, 'Take a look around you. It's time for some drastic changes.' And are we, as influential in implementing change as we are, looking away? Maybe it's time for some positive action and thinking. The longer we ignore the signs, the worse it's going to get.

Comment! (1) | Recommend!

mood: sleepy
listening to: Bedlight for Blue Eyes
I've been thinking about all these things I could write in here today. All these words and ideas and feelings, but now that I'm sitting here, I can't find them. I know that I'm very angry for some reasons, and very happy about others. It's strange feeling two completely opposite things. Sometimes I want to cry, but then I smile about something else and forget that I wanted to cry. Then it just happens again.
I'll start out by saying that the Warped Tour was wonderful. Well, seeing my cousin was wonderful. I can't say much for all the high schoolers who were trying too hard to be 'different' even though they looked like everyone around them. It's great that he hasn't changed much at all even though he was signing a girl's shoe and taking pictures. He's absolutely fabulous and I love him to pieces. I'm glad things are going so great for him and his band. I'm very proud of him!
Another fabulous thing is that I've seen sooooo much of Courtney. She's really come around after all. I know things will stay this good. I'm sure of it. She's been a different person in so many ways. I'm really happy. This weekend is Six Flags, OAR and Augustana concert, and spending time relaxing before she goes back to school. I'm very excited!!
Let's see...instead of Florida, I'm going to North Carolina to see my dad and sister. I can't wait to be with them, especially my sister. She's still so cute and little. Apparently my dad asked if she wanted to see me and she said, "Jamie can come and play peek-a-boo." Now if that's not a reason to visit, I don't know what is! She's fabulous.
I had some stuff floating around about friendship and such, but it just doesn't seem worth the effort to write it.
I miss Maryland dearly. I want a job there and an apartment so I can be near most of my friends. I love them so much. I can't wait to be near them again. I have several resumes out down there, I'm just waiting on calls back. I know things will work out so that I can be there again, simply because it's what I want.
That's it for now. Byes.

Comment! (2) | Recommend!