3 weeks in and i thought everything was going GREAT!! Till Friday morning... The other girl he hired, Tammy, got fired in the morning. She started a week after me. Two weeks and she is done. We left early on Thursday while the boss was away and we got caught, but I owned up to it and sadly she didn't. I did work through my lunch on Thursday so that i could leave an hour early for an appointment that I had.

I feel bad for her though. She needs the money from the job and she quit a company that she had worked for a for a long time to come into our workplace and do something related to our field. We were both really surprised about what happened.

So now it is just me and the boss....that is it. I really liked going to work in the morning, but now, sadly, I don't want to go. It is a really tense environment where Tammy broke a bunch of the monotony.

I don't know what direction to go from here...I have other interviews that I have turned down cause I liked this job. Now, who knows. BUT my intro period is up and the end of this week and hopefully I will feel more secure after that meeting. I hate not feeling welcome or wanted...that is how I felt at my last position for 7 months. I hate that feeling!

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I totally forgot to post pics of my new kitty!

His name is Dexter...and I got him after he was just left at my parents house in Wyoming. He is really really cute!






and here is a pic of all three of my kitties



updated pictures of splatter




updated pictures of Zoe

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Well I finally got a job offer, after more than 7 months being unemployed. It is a job where I design Fire Sprinkler Systems in Commercial spaces all in 3D.

While it is great that I got this job offer, I am really not happy about it. I have accepted it because I need a job. I start on Monday, August 4th. This job is taking me further away from what I really want to do. I want to design spaces, including furniture. This is no where near that. I have to learn a new program that is specifically geared towards fire sprinkler systems. That shouldn't be hard at all.

But, I also have to drive about 70 miles to work each day. I HATE commuting. It takes so much out of me. I will have to drive from the far north side of the Denver metro area to the far south side...taking only I-25. The other option would be a toll road...but that is around $17/day and not a realistic option at all. Who could afford that on top of these outlandish gas prices?? Plus it adds 3 hours or more on to my day at work.

Everyone keeps saying a job is a job, but I have done crap that I haven't wanted to do for so long, that it is really hard for me to accept the fact that I am doing it again. When will I ever get that chance to do what I love? I had it at one point, and nothing has ever compared to that...or even came close. That job I didn't care how long the commute was or how hard or long I worked on a job...I just did it. It never felt like work. So it is hard to start something knowing it isn't what I want to do. But I am going to try and be positive.

A plus is that it is just me and the owner of the company. So basically I will have a lot of responsibility (and leeway) , especially if he is out of town. I also get to go out of town every once in a while. I get a two week training course out of town too, which should be fun!

On the day I got this previous job offer, I had an incredible interview. It was for a position where I would be designing custom cabinetry for high-end residential spaces as well as commercial spaces, such as libraries and medical offices. Plus this place is not even 5 mins. from my house. Awesome commute! This position is more down the alley of what I want to be doing and I would be really stoked to do it. I don't have to learn a new program, but I do have to learn some new conversion software since the cabinetry is made on site. Not hard at all! They are making a decision later this week about the position and hopefully I get it...if I do, then I have to let the fire sprinkler position go. BUT in all reality, with my luck, I am not expecting to get something I like to do. So I am not keeping my hopes up for it at this moment.

I just know that since I want the second position that it will not be an option. I got turned down a ton of time while I was unemployed and I was shocked to get the first job offer...so I believe that I will never get an offer from the second position.

So I am preparing for next Monday morning and working a full day. It will be exhausting, since I don't sleep at night very well, but I will adjust. Hopefully I will get along with my new boss very well and things will go smoothly.

mood: confused
watching: news
listening to: 80's music

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I must admit, I am a sports nut! I love it 24/7 if I could. But most of you that know me this is no shock at all.

Anyways I am into fantasy leagues as well. I must say that I suck at Fantasy baseball though. I have a ton of all-stars on my 3 teams and I am in last place in two of them and 8 out of 10 in the other one. I swear people will not trade or even consider trading. IT drives me nuts!!!!!! Or the propose a trade to me (like J.D. Drew for Vlad Guerrero) and they think that because I am a girl I am going to take that shit! I know players and I watch the game, I am not that fucking stupid!

See I don't have this much trouble with Fantasy Football. I rock at that! I am always at the top competing.

My knowledge of sports is tremendous, so how am I not able to do well in baseball or hockey, but I rock in football and basketball. Who knows?

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Jen Kober is funny as hell!

I don't know how to do videos on here, so if this doesn't work, here it is
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QLrsMw7A0Zk

here is another one for you!

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I am soo thankful that I have healthy self-esteem. I try not to let other people�s opinions bring me down, but , do I get sick of it sometimes.

You can be anything you want to be in this society except fat. Especially if you are a woman. You would think it was a crime the way our society treats us. Hatred of the overweight is the last accepted form of prejudice in this country it seems, and again, I�m getting sick of it....

When people are rude to me because of my weight, I have a lot of questions start bouncing around in my head... For instance...

Why does it bother you so damn much?? Seriously!! Am I stealing food from you or your family? Am I making you pick up the tab when I go out? Do you have to cook for me?? No?? Then don�t fucking worry about it!!

Why do you feel you need to comment on it? What�s that, asshole? I�m fat?? What the...? *hmmmm.... Are you sure??? Wow, thanks for letting me know!... Now I can take the steps necessary to make you more comfortable with my grotesque appearance... If only someone had told me sooner!

Why do you assume I�m lazy? This one has always baffled me. The majority of lazy fucks I�ve encountered in my 28 years haven�t been fat at all. Seriously, think of every pretty boy or skank ass girl you�ve ever worked with who didn�t do their share at all. Trust me, on this one, laziness comes in all sizes. I�ve been employed most of the last 10 years and believe me, I�m a hell of a hard worker.

Why do you assume I do nothing but eat all day and night? I do have a life. I did have a good job, where I made just as much money (and in many cases, more than!!) the skinny people. I have friends, and a social life and lots of people who are happy to be in my life. Why do you assume I never exercise? IN my own apartment building I walk on the treadmill and stair climber at least 2-3 times a week, so I hate to disappoint you there, too. And just so you know, it�s been proven that fat people who exercise are healthier than skinny people who don�t.

Why are you so fucking offended by my dress size?? Seriously, are you retarded? Hate me because you met me and think I�m a bitch, but honestly... get a fucking grip. If you hated me because I was black or Jewish, there�d be an uproar. No difference. I am who I am.

Why should I have to change for you? Go fuck yourself, you ignorant twits.

You know, every fat person has a story to tell as to why they are fat. Just like every alcoholic has a story, every battered woman, every gang member.... People express their emotions in different ways. Some revert to behaviors that others don�t agree with. I have had a lot of struggles in my life, but why does this concern you? At one time, I lost over a seventy pounds and I thought that would make me happy, but you know what? I was just a smaller version of my sad self. Enough said.

And ever since my baby died, I have come to realize that life is so short and fragile. I had to deal with drug abuse and came dangerously close to killing myself after that. But I struggled to make it through and regain my self-worth. And I�m going to live for myself from now on, not for society. If I want a Brownie, I�m eating it. You don�t approve, then so fucking what? I don�t approve of close-minded idiots, yet here we are...

I�m sorry the American "ideal" woman is one who looks like an anorexic little boy. Sorry, but I�m not playing into that. Love me or hate me, but for the love of God, just shut the fuck up and let me live my life...

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