Life is so confusing right now. I'm having mixed feelings about a lot of things lately, and I've been questioning my motives. I've been more aware of my actions, hm... life's a bitch. Sometimes I wonder why I am even here, I know that I'm here for some kind of reason, but what the hell is that reason? Im so confuse... o well... i guess with everything that's going on i can get over it in time... things will die down, and i'll figure my way out of it again, but it would be harder this time... and it might even take more time...

well on a lighter note... im almost done with drivers ed. hooray! but on the heavier note.. because of me goin to camp for a week.. ive missed about 4 tests and i have to make those up... 2 drivers ed tests, 1 spanish test, and a math test... and add to that ive missed a lab in biology... looked like ive chose a GREAT week to go to camp... POOP!!!

haha i saw ricardo today at skool... jen saw him walkin outside and she pulled me and justine over to talk to him... i stayed inside tho... im tryin to avoid eye contact with that guy... and im tryin my hardest to get him interested in jen... justine saw him for the first time and she looked like she was about to jump him.. YES he is THAT hot... haha god damn! lol and then we were suppose to go to lunch with him.. but he never showed up... he did later and we found out that he already went out to lunch wit his friends and he couldnt take us with him because he got the ride from his friends... ass... yea i think he's tryin to avoid me and jen now... haha maybe we seem like stalkers... o well... i already have a guy i dont care... heehee

later days.

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Nerdslut


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In some weird twisted way I can't help but to feel that this is so true... lol except for the slut part... -_-

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I spent 8 fukkin hours typing a 6-pg essay on microsoft word and took fukkin precautions and saved it every 5 fukkin minutes and when i gone back to it i cant open the fukkin file...!!!!!!! im so fukkin pissed... now wen i go to open file on MW i can see that the file is there and i can open it but there's only two paragraphs in it... and then all of a sudden now theres 2 files to that essay i wrote... i know FOR SURE the second file is the one wit the 6-page essay but i just cant get into the file... every time i click on it, it says that the current features cant open the file and that i need to install microsoft 2000 premium... not only does it not open... it has a new name to it "~$Separate Peace" which is weird because when i saved it, it has the doc. name "A Separate Peace"... I now officially hate my life...

On top of all that i still have a truck load of hw to do and it's not gonna be all done until midnight on sunday!!! wooee! that means saying good-bye to goin anywhere this weekend wit my friends... AND I HAVE TO WRITE THAT FUKKIN ESSAY OVER AGAIN!!!

Sorry Pinky... that means we can't go anywhere this sat.

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wahhh!!! last week i went to camp thunderbird as a counselor! or a leader...'cause thats wat they call it... me and jen were in a cabin together... along wit another girl counselor.. ana.. we had 14 girls.. and each cabin only has 14 bunks... so guess wat that means... us leaders had to sleep on the floor... .. but camp was really fun! i wanna go bak... each day i got assigned to a different teacher and watever they have on their agenda for their class that day i have to teach that activity... and it wasnt only me there were other leaders there too! and they're so nice! haha and cool too. ooh! and i taught survival study all by myself... usually u have like one other wit u... and i do... but he was preparing stuff for the experiment... and the container... too confusin to explain... i was gone from tuesday to friday afternoon... thats 3 days and a half... which means 3 days w/o cory... sadness... i missed him...

heehee wanna know something funny? there was this really cute guy there at camp... he was a leader too... his name is ricardo... jen sorta had a crush on him... so i tried my best to hook those two up together... wen she got to spend a whole entire day wit him on wednesday... ('cause they got the same teacher assignment) she found out that he goes to federal way!! it was crazy!!! ... and i thought no cute guys actually exist at our skool... CRAZY!!! and then on thursday i got to spend the whole entire day wit him... and we were the underdogs... 'cause there were leaders there whos been leaders like 4-5 times... so we were just there helping... and got a lot of time to talk... i put in a good word or two or three for jen... and i asked him if he was interested in her... and he said maybe... and then wen we were puttin stuff away and were walkin somewhere... i asked him again... and he was like... "wat if i was interested in someone else?".... and i asked who... and he wouldnt tell me... so i kinda bothered him the rest of the day about it... and wen we sat together for dinner... he told me that he will tell me if hes intersted in jen and who is interested in wen we leave camp.... ... guys...so poopy... always want us to become desperate... the next day.... wen we were sittin together for lunch and was about to leave... he gave me a hint... he said that it wasnt jen that he was interested in... and that she was in cabin B1 (hint:... me, jen and ana are in B1) and wen it was time to leave... he wouldnt even tell us then... and he told me to call him... and that he would tell me then... but i didnt call him... jen did.... all the leaders were suppose to go to red robin that night... ricardo was there... and again i asked him who it was... and he told me to take a guess... after all there was a 50/50 chance and i'd no either way... so i asked if it was me... and he said "no it's not u... haha just kidding it is u" MY PLAN BACKFIRED!!! crap... soyea... now i think its funny... jen is gettin hook up wit another guy... and this time im not the matchmaker... good thing too... haha and ricardo still doesnt no that i have a bf... i shall tell him on saturday wen the a couple of us leaders are meetin each other to go bowling.... yay! i suck....

now that u heard something funny... wanna know something that's sweet? valentines was on saturday... so i went over to cory's house (my parents didnt no that... i told them that i was over at alex's)... him and his mom picked me up... his house was pretty nice... his room was really small tho... sad to say its smaller than mine...and my room is really small... we spent most of the time in his room just talkin... and snuggling... heehee... and i stayed for dinner... and the sweetest thing ever... wen we went out to the dining room for dinner... his parents had already set the table... and there were candles!!! the the lights were dimmed!!! aw... his parents rock.... and his mom is the coolest... haha... then they left to go over to their relatives (who lives across the street) intentionally... they wanted to leave us alone... but his mom kept poppong in every 10 minutes... and she gave him kisses every time... haha it was cute... but the dinner... and the candles!!! ah!!! i must say that was the nicest valentines ever... he said that he didnt no about the dinner... but apperently he did... for it was his idea... but he didnt no that his parents would take it beyond... it was very sweet... and i even got a teddy bear, chocolate, anklets, and a card from him.... heehee makes me wanna give him a hug right now.... heehee im almost done wit the chocolate... haha

and this entry is gettin a little bit too long.... so sayanora... (dont no how to spell that)

later days.

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so much for the tryin to stay single crap... **sigh** once again i walk the path of being taken and having a bf... one guess as to who it is... lol.. cory... wee! i shouldnt really sigh about it... cory is a really cool guy... a little dumb sometimes... but he makes me smile... and hes nice... and he totally get the idea that im not allow to date and that seeing his gf on a daily basis is impossible and that her parents are strict as hell... he has "ponder" upon it i guess he made the final decision... hm... now thats gotta be something... most guys backed out of it... lets just hope cory wont do the same thing...

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so cory called today... apperently he was tryin to get a hold of me yesterday... but he got the wrong number... haha he said he tried to get a hold of me for 4 hours straight... wat an idiot... then he got a hold of alex this morning on AIM and she gave him my number... well the right one at least... the whole point of him calling was to set up a date for our date... and everything... but we got side-tracked and wen he had to go and hang up the fone i realize that we forgot to do that... haha... he's fun to talk to on the fone... maybe because he actually talks... hm...

well newho... where should we go on this date of ours? do u guys have any suggestions? hm.. well leave comments okies?

later days.

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