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I won't twist the knife this time, the blade is sharp enough to bring the message
+All U need to know+

Name: Nina
Age: 15
Location: Washington
Gender: Female
Status: Taken

+Speak the language+
+Song anyone?+
(Fuck It) I Don't Want you Back
by Eamon

woooaaa
hoooooo
no no no

See I don't.. know why I like you so much..
I gave ya all of my trust I told you.. I loved you
now its all down the drain you put me through a pain
I wanna let you know how I feel

Chorus:
fuck what I saidit don't mean shit now
fuck the presents might as well throw em' out
fuck all those kisses they didn't mean jack
fuck you, you hoe I don't want you back
fuck what I said it don't mean shit now
fuck the presents might as well throw em' out
fuck all those kisses they didn't mean jack
fuck you, you hoe I don't want you back

You thought you could keep this shit from me.. yeah
you burned bitch I heard the story
you played me you even gave him head
now your asking for me back
your just another hack
look else were cause your done with me

Chorus:
fuck what I said it don't mean shit now
fuck the presents might as well throw em' out
fuck all those kisses they didn't mean jack
fuck you, you hoe I don't want you back
fuck what I said it don't mean shit now
fuck the presents might as well throw em' out
fuck all those kisses they didn't mean jack
fuck you, you hoe I don't want you back

oww oww uh huh yeah
oww oww uh huh yeah
oww oww uh huh yeah
oww oww uh huh yeah

your question did I care?
you can ask anyone
I even said you were my great one
now its i'm over
but I do amit i'm sad it hurts real bad
I can't sweat that cause i loved a hoe

Chorus:
fuck what I said it don't mean shit now
fuck the presents might as well throw em' out
fuck all those kisses they didn't mean jack
fuck you, you hoe I don't want you back

oww oww uh huh yeah
oww oww uh huh yeah
oww oww uh huh yeah
+Need the DATE?+


March 2024

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Hooray
Saturday. 12.13.03
My friend ash got himself nutang... his user name is thedrowningninja... he has a thing for ninjas... dont ask me why... i dont get it myself

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I dont wanna be hanging like a yo-yo
Friday. 12.12.03
Can u think of anyone in your life right now that u really care about, but there’s something about them that bothers u and u have no idea if u should tell them or not? Well I'm kind of in that position right now… it’s the whole stereotypical crap… I mean “they” don’t like it when they get labeled and stereotyped… but then they themselves label others… I mean if that’s not hypocritical then what is? There are times when I want to tell them about it… but then is it THAT big of a deal? I might hurt their feelings… maybe I’m just asking to much… **confused**

Eh… another problem… right now… I don’t feel like I’m needed anymore… or loved… people would be all like “oh you’re my best friend… blah…blah… blah…” but when it really comes down to it… I question if they really care for me or not… to be reading someone’s entry and they say something like “o fukk everyone… I hate everybody…” bleh… when in retrospect just the day b4 they’re hugging u and liking u… makes u wonder if they ever think about me when the write that… does that mean they hate me too? And they whole “hugging” was just a cover?

I’m so fukkin naïve sometimes… I no that friendships don’t last forever and that the people that you’re friends with now won’t even know that you exist 5 years from now… you might have more than 10 close friends right now, but 5 years from now only about 2 people would stay with you… if you’re lucky… 3… I know that for a fact… but I just keep being in self-denial and keep telling myself that all the things going on at school right now are just temporary… and that things will back to the way they were before… but the FACT is things will NEVER go back to the way they were… I mean, I’m making new friends and adding on the list of “best friends” and the names that was on there before are slowly fading away like someone’s taking an eraser and slowly wiping the names of the list… it saddens me really… but what really sadden me it’s how I keep running away from reality… I live in this oblivion world where the cute little Nina is the center of attention with all her good grades and sweet ways… I know there’s more to myself than that… but if I were to go and be something else… then I wouldn’t be sitting at the lunch table eating lunch with my usual “group”… I wouldn’t be Nina, alex’s best friend, Nina conan’s girlfriend… nina ash’s friend or nina who gets along with just about everybone… but slowly being interactive with EVERYONE is tearing me apart… does that sound shallow and stupid? It does to me… but I just can’t help it…

Sometimes I just want to start all over… strip free of my ignorant self and be the person that I really am and attract the people that like me for who I am… I wish that sometimes people could just stop for a minute and take a good look at me… ‘cause there’s more to meet the eyes… it’s hard to believe this but I intimidate some people… and I just don’t know why…

There are only about 2-3 people right now that I actually care about and actually give a crap if something happens to them… I’m not gonna name any names… but with the conditions and how things are goin and the attitude that they carry around right now leave my heart for just the exceptional few… and the sad thing is I don’t even know if those exceptional few feel the same way about me… =( sadness…

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Camp Thunderbird!!! WHOOPEE
Tuesday. 12.9.03
This is gonna be a long entry ppl... just a heads up... BUT LEAVE COMMENTS NEWAYS!

I went to camp Thunderbird training to be a counselor this weekend It was a butt load of fun... I had to wake up VERY EARLY saturday morning... like at 6:15 and then leave the house at 6:50 to go to the Federal Way School Admissions place thingy so the bus could pick us up... the ppl that signed up wit me were Ash, Jen and Cj... but unfortunately Cj couldnt go... i called him the day b4 to remind him... but bein a butt that he is... he had forgotten all about it... and then he said that it really didnt matter 'cause he can go... but then he found out that he had to go to his dad's house that weekend to work... u see he's in debt wit his parents... but he said that he was gonna try and beg his parents to let him go... but he never called me bak... and then at 9 wen i called him his step-dad said that he was gone for the night and that he was at Aaron's house... i was MAD at that point... and wen i showed up the next morning... waiting for the bus wit ash and jen hoping that cj would be there... he wasn't... i wanted to kill him... really... i was looking forward to bein wit him but was he there? NO... wat a meanie...

We were then to be loaded on our us and leave for camp! yay! we sang songs the whole entire way there... and then they talked about 5th and 6th graders and wat we had to do on the bus to keep them occupied... and how to handle them... and it was sad 'cause i was really missing cj... wen we arrived at camp they assigned us into our cabin groups and stuff... and i was seperated wit jen... i didnt get to be in the same cabin as her... we took our stuff to our cabin and then we started our training right away... the training was vigorous and hard and VERY very very tiring... and it all went by really fast... since we were jamming 4 days of camp into 36 hours of training.... so it's all just a blur to me now... all i remember was the food.. heehee the food... yummy yummy food.. camp thunderbird makes the best food! that's like one of the reasons why i want to come bak... but the tireness was worth it 'cause there were yummy things there too besides the food... can u'all guess wat that is??? huh huh? well GUYS!!! whoopee!!! there were 4 really hot guys at camp!!! one was an assistant leader and the other 3 were there for training... the assistant leader's name was brandon... heehee... he has shaggy hair... and he was HOT.... and sexy... and then there was this guy name zach... he had bleached blonde hair... and he was hot and sexy too... and he was funny-like... and there was this guy name Skyler... and he was half-asian i believe... or philippino... but watever he was... he was hot!... and the last guy i dont no his name... but me and jen call him the "duncan hair guy" because he had a slight afro (hes white) and the afro reminded us of our friend duncan!!! and they were all VERY hot and sexy and yummy! (but shh... it turned out to be a kinda of a good thing that conan wasnt there) haha jk jk... but newho... it really didnt matter that u went wit ur friends... u rarely get to see then and talk to them... u're all seperated... so overall i had oodles of fun at camp.. singing songs... goin hiking... and food! and i almost lost my voice 'cause i was yelling out the songs... u kinda had to be loud...

I didnt get bak home until sunday at 5... by then i was POOPED!!! i was ready to fall asleep! but i couldnt 'cause i had to finish up on my hw... i was doin my hw and falling asleep at the same time... it wasnt fun... ... then the next day i had to go to skool... i kept yawning throughout the whole entire day... and falling asleep ... by 6th per. wen i actually get to see cj... i was too pooped to beat him up... so i was just mad at him... and didnt want to talk to him... he kept apologizing... and drawing cartoony figures saying he was sorry... and that he couldnt call 'cause he hated the fone... now i knew that... but he shouldve called neways... guys are so inconsiderate... and theyre such butts! makes me mad... but then again... i couldnt stay mad at him pretty long.... he just looked so innocent and cute-like... i hate it wen that happened! ah!!! guys can have that affect on u... it suxx...

And today... nothing new and exciting happened... i was just at skool... learning... haha... and then i had drivers ed after skool... and then my mom and i went to costco to get my eye checked again so i can get my permit... which will happen this thurday.. oyea baby!!! nina out driving in the road... arent u scared? haha

well this is gettin to be TOO long... so im gonna leave now...

one last note... i miss my guy... and i just talked to him 20 min. ago! ha!

later




P.S.:

BedtiMe4bAndits (cj) : sorry im going to my grandma's house ...so i have to go ...... g'nite sexy lady.......
kneemewhenwhen: nite nite
kneemewhenwhen: bye hot stuff
BedtiMe4bAndits: g' nite
BedtiMe4bAndits: hottie

Arent we so humble?

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Once again , I am BORED...
Friday. 12.5.03
You are Orange
What color are you? (Anime Pictures)

brought to you by Quizilla

Rebellious
You're a natural born trouble-maker. You hate
authority and do everything you can to get
around the law, or in some cases, break it.
Naturally stubborn, you hardly ever sway once a
decision is made. Your nature is fiery and
courageous, and always out-going. You love
attention and usually have kinky fetishes
you're not afraid to explore. People either
love you or hate you.


What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
brought to you by Quizilla

holding hands
hand holding - you like to be in constant physical
contact with your special someone but you don't
want to take things too quickly.


What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
HASH(0x87a2c90)
obsessive compulsive


Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla
Gemini
You should be dating a Gemini
21 May - 20 June
This mate is inquisitive, entertaining and
charming, liberal, broad-minded and youthful.
Though Gemini has a tendency to be impatient,
gossipy and sometimes irritable, this twin has
the ability to expresses his or her pent up
emotions during sex!


What Zodiac Sign Are You Attracted To?
brought to you by Quizilla

OH MY GOD... why cant i have ARIES or PICES??? huh huh?
AND I DO NOT HAVE OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER... arg...



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This and That... and Things...
Thursday. 12.4.03
Hey thanks guys for caring... thanks those who left comments... they made me feel loved... I guess I was just tired... and stressed... but yea i'm kinda better now... i no that there are ppl who care for me... but sometimes it's hard to think about them wen ur life is goin down the drain...

Newho... I'm bored... so I copied this from Alex, Cara, and Conan... just to take away the time...

What's your first name?: Nina
Age?: 15
Birthday?: July 26, 2006
Your sign?: Leo
Where do live?: Federal Way, Washington... hell...
Do u have a boy/girlfriend?: Yes I do
Have you ever been in love?: Um...
Where do you shop at the most?: AE... Gap... The Bon Macy's... Pac Sun... Nordstrom...
What color is your hair?: Dark Brown/Black wit brown and red streaks
What color are your eyes?: Dark brown
How tall are you?: 5'1 and a 1/2 heehee
Do you smoke?: hell no...
Do your friends smoke?: some... yes
Is your hair short or long?: long... well some strands are short
Do you like to shop?: YES!
What sports do you play?: um... does sitting in front of the tv count?
What turns you on?: haha... ha... ha?
What turns you off?: smoking, dishonesty, backstabbing, stupidness, and ppl who thinks theyre better than others, ignorance...
What do you do for fun?: talking on the phone, chat, movies, tv,... fun stuff
What are your favorite foods?: i like food... food's good...
Do you look like anyone famous?: Uh... no...
Who are the most attractive people you know?: heehee funny question... PAUL WALKER!
Do you wish to be like your parents?: hell no...
What are you listening to right now?: the hums of the computer monitor
How many hours do you spend on the phone?: not a lot...
What are your favorite shoes?: PUMAS!!!
Do you think you're weird or funny?: weird... yes... funny?... sometimes wen i feel like it
Who was the last person you called?: Alex
Where do you wanna get married?: Uh...iono
Who is the hottest girl/guy in your school?: heehee do u HAVE to ask?
What are your favorite girl names?: Something original... like Genisus
What are your favorite guy names?: Joshua
What's your worst memory in the past?: bleh... wen i was 7... and stuff...
What's your favorite childhood memory?: =) chocolate... long story...
What is your favorite fast food restaurant?: jack in the box
Who do you really hate?: Um... no comment
Do you have any brothers and sisters?: nope
Are you stupid?: yes...
What are you addicted to?: the tv
Do you like to dance?: wen no one's looking
What is/was your least favorite subject in school?: English (ms.stahl) and biology
What is your/was favorite subject in school?: math (always has been)
What time is it?: 2:19 pm
What college do you wanna go to?: somewhere in Cali or in NY
What school do you go to now?: FWHS
Do you sleep a lot?: Yup
Whats your favorite radio stations?: 90.9
Are you a night person?: yeah... wen i feel like it
Are you a morning person?: fukk no
Whats your favorite TV station?: WB, Fox, Disney, MTV, VH1, Nick ...
How often do you shower/bath?: Once a day... sometimes twice a day
Do you get along with your parents?: Uh... sure...
What room do you spend the most time in?: the room wit the tv
How many rooms does your house have?: 7... not counting the kitchen
What do you wanna be when your out of school?: something in advertising... or entertainment... or something that involves kids....
Do you curse a lot?: um... not really
Are you ticklish?: yess.... but dont tell...
What are you wearing right now?: pj bottoms, tank top, sweater, underwear haha
Who is your favorite cartoon character?: Chuckie from Rugrats
What's your favorite fruit?: strawberries and peaches
What's your favorite veggies?: lettuce
What was the best day of your life so far?: the day wen i feel like theres nothing wrong wit my life...
What are you gonna do today?: hw... and hw... and more hw...
Do you wear body spray?: yes ... pink from VS
How many rings or necklaces do you own?: a lot... but i dont wear them...
Do you wear a watch?: sometimes
Did/Do you have braces?: nopers
Are you tired?: not really
Do you have freckles?: no
What are you thinking right now?: my conan... =)
Are you having fun?: kinda
What time is it?: 2:25
What makes you laugh?: funny ppl
Who's your favorite teacher?: Mr. Prince
What is your favorite dream?: the one where i got to married hayden christensen
What is your worst dream?: the one where i fell down this whole and i kept falling... and then the ppl whom i loved died...
What's your worst memory as a little kid?: wen i was 3 and i fell off my tricycle

Music…
How many Cd's do you have?: not many
What Cd's are in your CD player?: nothing
Do you own videos of your favorite group?: no
Do you record your favorite group when they're on mtv? nope
Are you obsessed with your favorite group/singer/band?: no
What's the oldest group/singer you are still listening to?: Abba
Are most of your friends music freaks?: yea... 2...
What do you think of the girls and the whole teeny bopper thing?: theyre stupid
Do you ever buy merchandise of your favorite group?: no
What TV station is better Fuse, MTV2, MTV or VH1?: MTV
What is the best show on MTV/Fuse?: Punk'd and Cribs
If you could marry any music person who would it be?: the lead singer from All-American Rejects
What is the worst CD you own?: Backstreet Boys

Friend(s)..
that looks most like you?: um... nina from cali
you go to for advice?: alex, conan, nina, myself
you have the most fun with?: all of them
you can do nothing with and still have fun with?: all of them
you've dreamt about?: alex, conan, sallyann, nina, cara, and like a lot more...
you tell your dreams to?: the first person that i see that morning

This or That?
Long or short hair?: long
Dark or blonde?: Dark
Mr. Sensitive or Mr. Funny?: both
Good guy or bad guy?: bad... but not too bad... he has to no wen to be good
Dark or light eyes?: dark
Ears pierced or no?: pierced please...
Tan or fair?: tan whoopee
English Accent or American?: hm... english

And now about me.....
McDonalds or Burger King?: mcdonalds... oyea baby
Coke or Pepsi?: pepsi... coke can die
Marry the perfect lover or perfect friend?: The perfect friend who's ur lover
chocolate or vanilla?: chocolate
Sappy/action/comedy/horror?: comedy and horror
Bottom or top?: wat the....
Favorite season?: winter... snow
Cherry or strawberries?: strawberries
Cake or cookies?: both
bread or toast?: bread
Car or truck?: car
night or day?: night
Pager or Cell/Mobile phone?: Cell
Bunk bed or Water bed?: water... haha funny...
Lights on or off?: off
you glad this is over?: sure


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**sigh**
Thursday.
UGH!!! how can everything seems to be falling apart? friends... family.. school.... LIFE... sometimes i just wanna take a break from it all... i just want to let it all out and cry for hours and hours... but i cant... it's like im stuck on this relentless wheel that just keeps on goin and i cant get off... im drifting from my friends... and there are friends who abviously is troubled but i cant help them ( i hate it wen i cant do anything to help and i have to stand on the sidelines)... my parents are falling apart... my mom is constantly talkin about leaving my dad... ( and im fine wit that... really.. but just leave the arguing 24/7 to the side... for goodness sakes ppl!!! ur daughter is listening!)... school is just this one hectic prison which keeps barring u and biting u in the ass... and life is just a bitch...

maybe this is one of the teen angst thing and that im just PMSing or something... but this is just one of those moments where i cant handle things that are goin in my life nemore... and i just wanna scream... maybe i just need help... but wat kinda help? it's not like ppl can make my friends understand and be there for me... its not like they can stop my parents from butting heads 24/7 and make them love each other again... or they can stop skool from bein such a pain in the ass or they can just stop makin life such a fukkin bitch...

some people would actually be surprised reading this... cause omg nina the ranting depressed person? well i kept my strong cover up and it worked so far... and no one reads this neways... so who gives a shit...

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