Choice

by gnafinel



the usual gray of day,

otherwise melancholy,

has sparked a say,

in words of usual folly



"where was once, a clear day,

no longer passes as a trolley

but rests peacefully as a cloud in May"



For one who saw measures of gray sees now proof of what is more than two shades

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i know i can without a doubt believe what i believe to be the truth.

how insincerity intertwines with months of grappling the root

of all that is abrupt, shallow , mundane, must be the key

to overcome and triumph with lines of sweet sly smiles and soot


ahh poetry releases the condemption too bitter to reclaim

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"This is the Blessed Life--not anxious to see far in front, nor careful about the next step, not eager to choose the path, nor weighted with the heavy responsibilities of the future, but quietly following behind the Shepherd, one step at a time."

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there is no intiative to do any better for anyone else when there is none to do better for myself. there are no reparations for knowledge.


life ceases to shine around the corner, when walking eventually reaches a resting point and suddenly where i am, we look vague and bleak. Its far more appeasing to sit than to go on.

what every pedestrian fails to recognize is a rest a never a merely a rest. every block's a labored run. Looking forward only keeps me in stjllframe. And when the small momentos that you have grown to love betray you, the next block only grows stronger in distaste.

why do i go?

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i can never identify myself. theres a reflection from those i surround myself with, but the image is hazy.



what can i say?



maybe everything is really better off this way

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SO, ive just come back from an overnight stay at occidental college..it was mind consuming and future startling i suppose is how i can put it. i wsnt expecting some epiphany to arise, for me to suddenly just Know where i want to go, but i had hoped for some consolation for the mind. at the end of day im eye wearied, mind romping, and heart heavy with a lingering desire for some security, for just the next few minutes.

its no problem addressing the desire to go to Humboldt or the igniting curiosity and excitement of near future. Its the hesitancy behind it all. Feeling stopped, and taken aback from participating in what i want to explore . Its a nolstagic emotion, to feel this way, wrapping comfort in angst and fear.

Perhaps this is just the result of a lead heavy head barely stableon a dusty wooden frame..or eye burning visions from the awake and asleep.

faces were so strangely familiar at the school..not their exterior physical structures but the expressions that came about from those exteriors.


It was my expectations, met.

5:04 pm

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