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"Some hearts, like evening primroses, open more beautifully in the shadows of life"
love, is wild for reasons
how i see
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Obsessionofthemoment.
Kristene Mueller - St. Francis
.thebest.

Its a hundred years since we've met,--it may be another hundred before we meet again" Edith Wharton
...life is more fiction than fiction itself.-Azir Nafisi
".
This is how it should always be
Friday. 10.23.09 3:33 pm
Sleep, rest assured by His Words and our prayers with Him and wake up to hear from Him. Walk, without a senseless idea of courage, but walk knowing He is by your side. Interact with the world, with His Words resonate and alive within you. Encounter all things of the world with His hand in yours and rest assured, it will be all right.

http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/?cl=16228041



How awesome it would be for news like these to be a normality.

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a weight off my breathing
Wednesday. 10.21.09 2:10 am
Today God reveled to me where ihad perceived love wrong. I've been waiting for biospheres to begin, worried so much about how i am as a leader and how if i am living up to the standards of what God wants me to do. Although I am aware that His love for me is unconditional and never fazed by what i do or fail to do, deep inside i still struggled to do the best i can do for Him, as if ti certify that He has a reason to love me and trust me.
On Sunday, He spoke gently to me on how He wanted to be part of the process and activities I rushed to do, instead of leaving Him to be the judge indirect participant of my life. I heeded these words, but went on today with a determination to let His Holy Spirit work within biospheres, but at heart selfishly. For my purposes, for my dignity, for my sense of rationality, i wanted the Holy Spirit to move.




1 John 4:4,

1 John 4: 7-11, 12-16



Knowing God through love, and Seeing God through Love.
He showed me how i could not know Him without loving Him, and i couldnot love Him without loving others. How can i understand what love is and all that it involves if i do not love first? Thus, how can i then know Him? Simple enough, but, what does this loving mean? How has He loved us? From forgiveness to trust, to sacrifice, to just simply enjoying our presence for the sake of enjoyment, all this He has done. To understand love, is to understand ultimately what He did for us, it was the embodiment of love. It was about us, about His love for us, not about His dignity or convenience. If i hadn't experienced love, how could i then understand what "God is love" means? How could i truly grasp what His death means, and how that affects me, His lover, the one He died for?


He wants us to love, so we may know Him. When we love, we learn how its more about trying to love, about how loving isn't easy. Then we can understand how He is within us. For when we do love, we know its Him who made it possible. (v.13) To love others, for Him to abide in us, it's inseparable. That's why v.7-16 get a bit confusing.



But how do we love?What does this look like? Its sometime the simplest acts, sometimes its the hardest. Jesus did all that, from merely sitting with the detested in society to willingly bearing our sins upon His life. But more importantly, He wants us to make the conscious choice to (v11) and see His presence do the unimaginable.



For me, He spoke very personally. Its about doing something that's without a practical purpose for me. Its about being available to love when someone needs love. Its about waiting as He has always waited for me. Its embrace, and not rejection. It's about stepping down and realizing whatever position He has given me, it's not about me. It's about loving so others may see His love and meet Him. Its praying without a self centered idea, however good intentioned it may seem, and depending upon Him to enable me to love in all sorts of ways. Its about not using an opportunity to love others as a way for me to love myself more.


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Faithfulness
Wednesday. 10.14.09 11:49 pm
i have never known faithfulness until i met despair.



the past two weeks have just been an assortment of cakes! why dont i start from yesterday.



Yesterday night, as me and my friend read about the truth and its subtle workings in our lives, we were strengthened by Spirit to proclaim His love. As we prayed, His words spoke in my voice and His hand was upon her. She could feel His gentle touch, feel His gentle presence as i felt things would change. We could only revel in the glory of His presence, and our secret meeting with Him.

Today, as i speak with her, she tells me of the truth He proclaimed. In an episode of three dreams, she saved three lives; hers included and through hers included the three. In addition, He reveals that He works with us, and not imposingly on us. It was through her conscious will of rejection against the enemy, His light shined the brightest. And unfortunately, time wears down our memories and she can't remember the rest. But what we do know is God will work in our lives and through us; we will pour out His glory.

Admittingly, it is difficult, sometimes, if not always to be able to believe that. Sure, it is believable for a God for the impossible and for the great, but us? Scoff! Maybe that's just what's wrong with this view, us. Me. You. I. We fail to see the glory of what can be done and instead of allowing ourselves to be swept away with a heart for His heart, we schedule out our failures and victories. I cannot blame us though, what else can we do? We live in world and life where we are exactly just that; a representation of how collected and responsible we can be when we need to. We're living by our merits, or rather by our failures.

You know what God has to say about that? About one week ago, my friend again had another dream. It was after another night of thoughts and self reflection, God poured out His opinion on the matter. In this dream, she was two, one physical and one spiritual. One laid on the table, another stood at a crossroad. Two figures of presence stood with her. Unknowing to her memory now though impressionable in her judgment, they were representative of our greatest influencers and persuaders, the enemy and His Holy Spirit. His Holy Spirit, advised her to make the right choice, and surged through her an electrifying warmth of stength and empowerment. We must walk in our new wineskins; lets dispose of the old and refresh ourselves in what God has readily prepared for us through His resurrection. It is up to us, not to our circumstances. We are not species to be molded by our circumstances or environment, we are a generation to be strong and still in Him. Let's not look to what we can or can't do, but what His Holy Spirit can do if we are willing to shed our ragged, but comfortable state of selves.

Ephesians 4: 17-24

Galatians 5: 1- 17, 2:16-21

2 Corinthians 4:16-17, 4:16-18

Matthew 9:17

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submission
Sunday. 8.23.09 4:05 pm
its a beautiful realization; my weaknesses are the key to hope when the door is His heart.

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the beginning of april angst!
the last of the march merryness
the question is not if i have what it is that i need only, but if i am aware that everything else is unnecessary. Eternity seems so far away with time so near.

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i am
Saturday. 1.10.09 4:02 am
i am quite content

.content.

i believe that quite sums up a lot of things



for one. isnt it what you want?

for me. is it what i want?


how bizarre is it to be content.



on a less complicated note: i think ive found somebody. i believe,

i've found somebody who is the answer i've not known to have once been a question.

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