watching: brothers grim
mood: tired

What I really would like to do with this blog is try 'take a step back' in my past from the present. Later to catch up with the present.
Although, I may just jump around the place from time to time.
I need a place to self reflect of who I used to be, to who I am now.
Basically, this blog is a 'side project' blog for me now and I am no longer using my old one. I am not going to delete it either.

My 'side project' blog started in Jan, 2007, I started writing on Blogspot. I started writing a lot there then slowly died off it within a few passing months. By the end of May, 2007, I had stopped writing there. But, why did I begin a 'side project' blog? -Because, a friend or who I thought was a friend off of Livejournal had quit. He had made a private blog at blogspot, I decided to make one so I could follow his blog and keep in contact. Let's just call him, B. It was a strange relationship. I only ever knew of B online and that was as far as it was ever going to go.

By May, 2007, he had rejoined Livejournal and had added me as a friend again...but we weren't to stay friends, for some reason later down the track he deleted me as a friend and I am not sure. It didn't really bother me either. I go over it after trying to 'help' him in some way by commenting and following his posts in his blogs.

There was another reason, I needed a place to write out my thoughts about a relationship I was having at the time. It started in Feb, 2006 and had ended by April, 2007. Shortly lived, but very intense it was. It ended quickly, because my boyfriend at the time had decided to move back to the state where his son was living to be with him. Maybe, someday I will understand that. It was complicated. I still wonder to this day how that ex-boyfriend is. Not that I will ever try and to find him nor will he. I don't really need too. I just wanted to know if he ever did find true happiness with his decision that he had made.
I hope so for his sake.

It seems the questions are always endless and never replying.

Comment! (2) | Recommend! | Categories: blogging [t], reflections of yesterday [t], ex-boyfriends [t]

mood: thinking...
listening to: Saliva - Rest in pieces

I wonder what would have become of us if we ever did take that jump?
I think 'what if', 'how if', 'what if', 'why not?'...'but, things just turned out differently and I can't go back'. That's just the thing, things did turn out differently.

Sometimes, I can only answer myself with a heart breaking reply and just think the worst.
Because, of how my life is, if it were to possibly change and had of taken the other direction with someone else...it just wouldn't be like it is now and I wouldn't be who I am now without knowing what I know now.

I believe that I have made my right choice. I have been in this relationship with Dan for a year now. I wouldn't ever change it.
Moving from the otherside of Australia from the westcoast to the eastcoast was the hardest part for both of us. But, we made it.
Only 9 months before we decided to move to Geelong, in Victoria. Dan had just moved all the way from Merimbula, in New South W ales to be with me in Western Australia. We had only met just a few days before we go together and yet, we took a huge chance on each other to make it work and it has so far.

We've been living together for 2 months in Geelong, in Victoria. We've never lived with eachother before that and we are just fine. Everythings just fine, like any normal relationship we fight, but we just click.

Comment! (4) | Recommend! | Categories: reflections of yesterday [t], relationships [t], dan [t], questions [t]

mood: impressed

Isn't it funny how the past always seem to catch up with us?
Like a person contacting you on a social networking site, like Myspace or Facebook.
It always seem to blow me away.
Memories coming flooding back of conversations and situations that you've had between the person. It all just seems like an movie being played 'forward' again. Sometimes, it just seems like a blur and doesn't make much sense.

Without a past, there would be no future existing in one's timeline of life. Living in regret can only get you so far.

Comment! (8) | Recommend! | Categories: reflections of yesterday [t]