Thursday. 6.28.12 3:03 pm
Once again, it's the time of the month where it's my turn to fill in night shifts at work. 4 nights. I don't know about you, but even the thought of night shifts makes me a little grumpy and 'depressed'. Life of night shifts is literally just sleep, go to work, get home and sleep, go to work, and so on. Is it unreasonable to be a little depressed because of such social-lacking life?
All I ask for is for my boyfriend of 4 years and 9 months to just maybe text me everyday for those 4 nights because it'll be the only form of socialising I will have for those days, but he made a big fuss over how he always texts me first and why can't I just text him first. Really?! Is it really such a big ask to have someone text me everyday, just for the next 4 days? I'm not telling him to text me every minute for the rest of his life! I just don't understand. Why does he have to keep count about who texts who first? I sometimes text him first, even if it means having to wake up early on a day that I could sleep in, just to wish him luck for an exam, or a competition. But he can't do such a simple thing for me? Or am I simply asking for too much?
Is our relationship just continuing on because we're just used to having each other in our lives? Is this even love any more? This hurts me. But does that still mean I love him because it hurts? Or would I feel like this anyway even if it was between another friend and I?
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Saturay. 6.30.12 01:39 am
It's been a decent night so far. It's nearly 2am and I have finally have a chance to sick back and take a sip of tea. I had a long talk with him last night... via sms. Things appear to be clearer to the both of us. What we both want and expect of the relationship. Having said that, we haven't really had a talk face to face or in any verbal form, so I'm just hoping that there aren't any misinterpretations or confusion as yet.
It is too true that we tend to take things for granted and value it when it becomes a memory, Renaye. I'm trying to value everything I have at the moment. Not only in this relationship, but even with family and friends, too. Nobody will be around forever. We have to make the most of the time we have with each other so we don't regret it, rather than fighting over silly small things.
I hope all goes well.
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