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undecided
The Wait.
Saturday. 8.15.09 8:58 am
listening to: The Climb - Miley Cyrus

I hate waiting but that is life.

Waiting for the unknown sucks.

Btw, she forgot this year. I'm a bit disappointed cause she usually remembers but it's been a rough year for her.

I guess I should do other things while I'm waiting. After all, it is beyond my control.

I have to continue having fun since there's nothing I can do.

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A pattern.
Thursday. 6.4.09 9:26 am
I think this blog has a pattern. A negative pattern. I only update this one when I'm feeling low. Sometimes a little too low and there's no one I can talk to whom I think will understand. I am keeping the bad stuff away, trying to appear as happy as I can around people but sometimes I just don't understand why whomever that is controlling fate or whatever stupid dumb coincidences somewhere loves to put me in situations which will make me feel really really really bad about everything.

I'm starting to realise that there is quite a big amount of truth in the sentence "the strongest is most likely the loneliest of all". I was once told quite requently in a week that I'm a strong girl and I'll pull through but sometimes its just so damn annoying that I'm always stuck with people who gets things easily in life. WHY? I know that there's always a silverlining to every dark cloud but I can't seem to just find mine.

No doubt I am grateful that I can still do what I want but till when will this last? I don't like the situation I am in right now and I don't know how to change it nor do I think I am able to change it like fast.

Tho, I'm going to pray a little harder, bet a little more and we'll see if I will get a miracle. After all, almost everything is at stake and I think I'm going to have to resort to the extremes this time.

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Heh.
Sunday. 4.26.09 5:44 am
I kind of forgot the existance of this blog but there will be nothing to update here for sometime anyway though I was a little wrong.

I don't know if I'm overreacting, too stressed up, PMS-ing or just worrying too much.

I'm wanting to be lost in a while. Just go away, not think of so many things, not analysing certain things and not giving a damn about anything.

How I wish I'm the one going to UK and Barcelona in 10 days with a friend.

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Contemplating
Tuesday. 4.7.09 3:49 am
if God really exists... Heck! I never thought that I'd ever need to contemplate on this point.

Regardless of whether a supreme being really exists, I need to stop what I'm doing lately and I seriously need, seriously need to stop expecting somethings.

I'm currently in sync with one tiny part of the latest episode of Heroes.. How lucky the character is to get his answer so quickly.

listening to Rascal Flatts - What Hurts The Most

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Selfish?
Sunday. 3.29.09 8:56 am
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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It's so not.
Wednesday. 3.18.09 10:52 am
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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