I'm putting plotting evil plans on hold. Yes, need to empty some space for my finals first. I can slowly plot things during my holidays.

I also need to put shopping on hold. I spent about 400 bucks already, and I'm broke. Not a big amount for some people but it is a lot for me since I don't always go shopping. It is a boring thing to do too often. I'm currently wondering if I should get a pair of boots or another sport shoes. Pretty much that and a few more tees. Again, this will be put on hold till next weekend.

Though one thing I won't quite put on hold is keeping an eye out to see if the bitch has turned straight again. She's been going out and staying over at this guy's house (who is apparently married). Though it is definitely said that it is a friend of unknown gender but I've seen the guy coming to fetch her pretty often and the fact that bumping into the two of them at the warehouse sale doesn't help.

I'm also putting on hold on finding the place in this country which can effectively diagnose Dyslexia. Don't need to worry about that too much.

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I dont like her, i never liked her and now she is like a fucking pain in the ass to me. on the morning that i feel so motivated to study, she hast to give me work which is not study related.

WHAT THE FUCK IS FUCKING WRONG WITH THIS BITCH? you live in the same house, you use the internet, no doubt not as often as my brother and I, so you don't want to pay for what you've used? I may not been doing the housework lately but have u heard me complain that I have too much work to do so I can't do the house work when I need to do it? I do it anyway no doubt i have to look after the house, study to maintain my scholarship and work at the same time? blooody bicth! you dont fucking bother to call when u dont need someone to fetch u back, we have to call u. have to put up with ur fucking temper when no one goes to fetch u cause u dont even tell us that we are supposed to fetch u. I have to go find u during my breaks because we are supposed to have breaks together but no, u go on your on and i have to fucking waste my time. just because my aunt loves u it doesnt fucking give u right to act as if u are the queen of the house. Of course I haven't taken into account the number of times my brother has to fetch you to and from work, the number of times you actually paid him and the number of times you claim that you pay him.

I haven't accounted for the fact that u are of another religion and race. I dont want to be racist here but isnt it too obvious that i never go into your room cause there is a typical stink in there. No matter how much perfume u put, it still will stink.

you know, what? the next time i count whatever bills, im gonna make u pay more. I don't care, im the one in charge of counting everything that needs to be split. Trust is what I have and I will manipulate it if I need to. If you wanna be a bitch, I will be one too and I will not stop to find your faults and get you out of here. I don't care if it means that I will need to pay more rent and utility bills. I'm sick and tired of having to do things twice because of someone who says "whatever" to everything and then becomes a hypocrite.

Life will be so much easier after you're gone.

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Thanks to House.. Now I'm thinking that I have stressed induced Dyslexia. I just took this test Am I Dyslexic?. There's only yes and no, so I created another column for sometimes cause some these symptoms don't always take place. I have 4 'yes', 3 of them is in the list of 12 indicators of being Dyslexic, 10 'no' 6 in the 12 indicators and 3 ouf of the 6 'sometimes'. If you turn the sometimes into yes, I am Dyslexic, in a way. Need to go to the shrink to find out if I really am and how Dyslexic am I.

Why I think I have a learning disorder when I get good grades? I'm not saying that I'm clever, I'm just the one with too much time locked up at home so much that I study a lot. It is because I'm turned my 'b' into 'd' when I'm writing my notes. I used to only do that in tests/exams which my subconscious thinks is stressful. Apart from my normal not sure if my spelling right even for words like "separate", and lately I have the tendency to put 'w' in front when I want to type/write "right". Not only that, delete turned "detele" and between became "detween", even now, I kept on typing "Dyslecix"!

The first time this was pointed out to me was after my English test, two years ago. At 17, I was made to write my 'b' and 'd' on the blackboard in front of the whole class. Imagine the embarrassment and confusion. Best part is that I reviewed the test before passing up and my spelling was correct (cause I know I'm prone to make spelling mistakes) I'm not sure if this situation continued for my matriculation finals cause we never get our papers back and my lecturers didn't say anything to me after that.

I am stressing myself out with this, I know. Just want to get it out of my system so that I can study for my finals. I hope mine is really stress induced, then it won't happen so often or I just think that I have it means.. I don't know what that means. I got used to having trouble with my spelling and I don't like having to inform the school administration that I have some kind of learning this order and I get some kind of special attention from the lecturers (I have been teased enough to be some of my lecturer's favourite) and who knows what they'll do to my scholarship!

Okay, got to go, studying beckons.. I may not have the motivation to study but I need to study.

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There is nothing like receiving marks for my previous economics test to make me unhappy. Is it me and my big mouth that I make it seem like I know a lot about economics in class? I was just trying to not fall asleep while you teach so I participate in your teachings to make time pass faster. IT DOESN’T MEAN THAT YOU CAN MARK MY BLOODY PAPER IN A STRICTER MANNER! I am absolutely assuming this point but it does seem that she is marking my paper more strictly! Bloody hell! I hate studying my ass off and not getting the marks that I aim for. I did take economics before but Canadian and UK syllibus are two different things. Things covered in one aren't covered in the other and vice-versa although there are the similarities.

There is so little people I can just send a text to and receive a reply that I want. She's busy, very busy, I feel guilty everytime I lend her ears. Another makes me feel worst when he opens his mouth, feels absolutely wrong if you ask me, and lastly people who make me feel even worst by doing their thing. Shouldn't have let this happen. Really shouldn't.

I'm sleeping early, waking up early tomorrow to do laundry and study. Don't have as much time as the others since I'm working so I have to start pushing limits while not stressing myself out.

I know I've been over implying that I don't have much time since I'm working.. Not that I like being this way.. Sucks!

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Everytime I talk to that person, there is that annoying little thug from the back of my head telling me that I shouldn't be talking to this person at all. I thought I got over that overreaction I got last week which I've successfully overcome after 2 days with the help of a little comparison between two.

I don't know due to the big differences in so many factors, I have no idea at all where this is heading to. Still that person is human and am I. Humans have feelings and most of them tend to act similarly in the same situations yet there are so many things that would make the act different.

Whatever this person say still trigger that alarm telling me that these are not the things friends usually say to friends but I really don't know if we could be talking on some other things because we generally like different things.

Seriously, of all of the people, why choose me? I'm cool not talking to you. I thought it would be no different when I sent you that email. If I knew this would happen, I would NOT do that at all.

I hope you won't text me today or tomorrow or the day after. I would really like my life to return to how it used to be. I'm looking forward for Christmas at the same time I'm not. How I wish you would stop telling me that you want me to be happy everytime I get upset over some things, SOUNDS SO WRONG!!!

Dispite typing all this, it doesn't make me feel any better.. I'm going to study. I'm gonna have to start building walls.

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