i feel like throwing up...i cant think anymore....hes suck a jackass!!! he makes me feel so empty now..like im worthless! this is horrible...ive never felt this bad before...i just cant...i...i cant even type an entry correctly...i dont know what im saying or if im typing it right..my eyes are too blurry to read it! i cant heal...i CANT! goddammit..

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I know when I'm not loved...AND IM NOT BEING LOVED RIGHT NOW!! i thought people from nutang had a bond! a FRIENDSHIP! but NO! i feel none of this...::sniff:: oh! the greif and sadness of it all!

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why is it that I'm always bored or complaining about something..? am i really that irritable...? wow...maybe i am. i think of myself as a very annoying/angry person...although im not sure why. no one really says im annoying except for Sean...woah...creeeeeepy..as soon as i typed his name, he signed on...@_@ oh well...i dont know. maybe this is the reason why i dont have a boyfriend...iam so alone, its not funny....this is why i dont have a boyfriend...this is gay...i need to meet someone..QUICK! oh, should i get these mary janes...? or should i get these ones?

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okay. well...hmm...i just got done with running, kick-boxing, and playing DDR...so that's enough energy wasting today....yes, i play DDR. I'm actually good at it too! haha, my favorite song is healing vision...or ecstacy..uhm..::ahem:: anywayyyy... sooooo..people...what is up? i have absolutely nothing to talk about and/or do...so give me ideas on how not to bore myself to death...hurry, i am wasting away...okay, ttyl..[ oh, and DDR, thats a secret..shhhh =) ]

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okay, my family thinks i wear too much black. one word=DUH! c'mon now...jesus....i like it! whats wrong with that? im being my own person that sets MY own TERMS! its just personality and a way of portraying it. im a little weird tho. i think of myself as an empty canvas that needs to be painted with colors of inspiration and talent. but then again, i just like black...because..you know. well whatever. theres mis-understanding for ya'.whatever..i need to go sulk...bye.

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Okay, i am very lonely....which sucks. uhmm...hmm...there were a lot of hot guys at the del mar fair, but they were all taken by huge blubbery whales with bad attitudes...it was sickening....like, one ran into me, and she was all, "oh..::ugly grimace on face:: what are you looking at?!" and i was like, "your big fat ASS, that's what!" and she like, attempted at fighting with me, but it was so funny all i could do was laugh....so she goes, "okay, i think you've learned your lesson..." and i was like, "yeah, dont make fun of a fat chick with a hot boyfriend who she doesnt deserve or she'll embarrass herself..." hah, so she left and her boyfriend was laughing and he apologized for what she did...and at that moment, i realized how beautiful his eyes were....i dont know if i'll ever see him again..but...i hope i do...::sigh...::

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