i'd say thats the question of the moment-of the hour- of my life at the current point in time. lots of things are changing. the seasons. i got accepted to slippery rock. my attitude toward my workplace has taken a turn for the worse. and it never ceases to amaze me how the relationship between meghan and i continues to evolve...

i'm thinking about....

what kinda job i want while im at school in slippery rock

a list of stuff i need to bring to slippery rock!

clothes (obviously) maybe i'll purchase a pair of pants..and a shirt.....thats it. haha who knows.

bathroom stuff teeth stuff. shower stuff.

laundry detergent. fabric softener?

a freaking computer. thats gonna put a dent in my pocket no doubt.



i've attempted to write this blog like 3 times. and after each attempt i know i've lost/forgotten what i've wanted to write. jeez...


ha at work the other day, i saw a town named Brick in new jersey. ha. ridiculous. i'm so done.

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my goodness....so yeah. its spring break. possibly my last 'spring break' in maryland. and i must say..its off to a pretty good start. *knock on wood* watched a couple movies....the ring 2, and hostage. casey/nick paid for my ticket which was cool cuz i've bought them many a movie ticket hehe....hostage however costed me 9 bux even on a sunday evening. they didnt take my student ID cuz its outta date. *sigh*...i'll get a new one first chance i get. ANYway...yeah...ring 2 wasnt bad but Hostage was pretty awesome. its bruce willis as a negotiator police guy...and like....the situation he has to negotiate is a really important criminal er something...and so the friends of the criminal take bruce willis's family hostage....SO. bruce turns out to be a negotiator and a hostage at the same time. so its a pretty engrossing movie i'd say. definitely worth the 9 bux. wooh. so...man what else to talk about. i've actually been pretty productive around the house as well. i've washed all my laundry (my goal today is to fold it all), and even a bit of homework. and YEAH the weather hasnt been too bad either. a lil rain on sunday..but i actually got to play some basketball. especially yesterday. monday....wow. mike, danny, chris, and i went to the park to play a lil bball, and ended up meeting up with 6 other folks for full court 5 on 5...wwwwwwwow. it was a lotta running up n down. i have blisters to prove it. but YEAH. there was mike, chris, danny, and i, plus 3 lil kids, plus 3 big older guys (prolly in their 20s) one of the big older guy was talking so much trash talk. prolly the highlight of my game was when i swatted him. it wasn't just a piece of the ball. i didnt foul him. it was all ball, and freaking a lot of it. oh man...just that one block made the whole like 1.5 hours of running/walking up and down court worth while. little chris was on fire for the most part of the game, til i started sticking him on defense. i also got a decent block another big older guy. he was reaaaaally tall tho...oh man. i'm afraid i wont be playing too much basketball for now tho....*sigh* silly blisters. anyway.....


its currently tuesday. only 3.8 days left til meghan is in townnn. my friends are pretty eager to meet her, and meghans psyched too. maybe a lil nervous, but psyched nonetheless. man...meghan and i have been doing a lot of contemplative planning for if/when i go to slippery rock. roommates....studying....hanging out...pool....man...i havent gotten anything back from slippery rock just yet, but its still pretty early. wooh buddy...i think i better get to work on something now hehe. tty soon baboon *ffffftpvvvv*

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WHOOP. well i just got done with a test in health. and i think i got at least a B in it so yeah. i dont know if im doing so good in that class i should probably calcu-ma-late my grade in there cuz i have like this running grade sheet thing that i can do that...hmph...but yeah i really dont have too much time to journalize but i just felt like typing...i'll prolly write an entry on monday er sunday night when i get back from meggyo's house and thennnn all kinds of stuff to talk about like slippery rock...and matt leaving....oh man. well ok i better get back to class plus i think im starting to get on peoples nerves with all this typing muahahahahahaha. ok bye. *shhhhhpfffffffft*

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ok so im sitting here. freaking a lil past 7am on a sunday morning, eating a bowl of frosted flakes. not that im upset...i actually mustered up some umph...so here i am. i woke up at 5:30 this morning...i was coughing..so i got up n decided to stay up for at least a lil while. so naturally..i go to the computer. i check out whos on, some away messages, the usual. so yeah. that activity piddles out after awhile, and i go back up to my room. and i whip out my guitar. now...yesterday. matt [diaz] came back to town. it was cool cuz i called right as he walked into his house. but anyway...a bunch of us congregated at dannys house....and it was so great. matt [diaz], another matt[smith], mike, danny, nick, casey, BRETT was even there, young, chris(dannys lil bro), plus the denisons, george, and andrea hung around for awhile. they really really missed out on the completeness of the evening...but altogether...13 teenagers? oh well george is 20. ha. but anyway....it was quite the time...from video games (silly dunking contest)...to pool (my team surprisingly actually lost somehow)....to poker(or lack thereof cuz it was so hard to get 6ppl in one room at the same time ha)...to hanging out. now by 'hanging out' last night it wasnt like any other...it was very enjoyable. i mean we never really have a structure for hanging out but...i think yesterday it was like everything kinda clicked....mike/danny/chris/young lingered close to the computer doing some fantasy baseball draft. matt[diaz] got a hold of a guitar...as did the other matt[smith]. ha. oh wow...dannys dad Mr. Calianno actually came down and jammed with matt smith..matt diaz played some familiar songs for the rest of us...we all sang when we could.... the one song that got the most participation outta the crowd was -anthem of our dying day- by story of the year...which is actually playing as u read this....so yeah...matt was playing that acoustically....10 of us or so were singing along with it.....it was really awesome....and now that i think of it...the lighting was really nice too. the kitchen and living room are kinda like in the same open area...so the with the kitchen light on..and a lamp slightly in need of a lightbulb change provided the atmosphere with a quiet intimate glow...while still having everyone visible...wow...so yes.....anyway. i was really impressed by matt[diaz]. hes changed a lot since the last time i saw him. hes more toned down...and like more mature it would seem...but he can still be the old goofy mateo i know. hehe..i dont see how he doesnt have like groupies follwing him all over the place. but he does have a gf so he doesnt need 'groupies'. i'm really happy for him...hes prolly living it up right now. almost done with school...about to get shipped out...for money...while getting more educated prolly...for a few years then hes gonna be out and well off...n with this musical talent of his he can live a content and full life........anyway back to last night. nick and casey actually started slow dancing..to matts music...he was playing cigarette by yellowcard....*sighh* that was prolly the night's epitome of me missing meghan ...wow...what else.... pff...wow...its funny that like i started out talking about this morning...and went off on the complete side story of last night. ha. well ok this morning...i started jammin on my guitar due to my inspiration from mateo...the thought crossed my mind: 'this isnt really impressive...or maybe its just not meant to impress..its for me to relax...' er something like that. but then i thought 'maybe im just thinking that so i dont work that hard on the guitar'...and i think the truth of it all is a mix of those two thoughts..like i wanna mildly impress people if/when they hear me play...but it'll prolly take literally years before i get anywhere near close to mateo's caliber of playing....hm. but yeah i jammed for like an hour...messing around with chords from the guitar music book i rarely use. wow i think the sun was actually rising as i played for that hour.....kinda spiffy. well i think i'm gonna go do something. PROBABLY fold clothes...cuz its ridiculous how much clean clothes i have just sitting on top of my bed. hahaha wow someone told me the other day 'once i had a 5 year old moment...and bought a bunkbed-i was 16' n shes like 19 now er something. hahahahaha so i told her 'wow thats pretty sad, cuz i have a bunkbed nowww that i've had since like the 3rd grade' haha...n i may even hafta bunk it up at towson too....ha.....wow towson...i should probably talk about that...getting accepted into towson...i thought that once i got in it woulda been such a relief. and it was...but after a lil while, the stress just kinda went up n leveled off again cuz now i hafta worry about money. a pretty sizeable amount too. its pretty costly to go to a university...n if i thought paying off aacc tuition was difficult....... *breath* i'm gonna do it. im GOING to KICK tuitions ASS. YUP! THATS RIGHT. CUZ U KNOW WHAT FINANCIAL PROBLEMS!?? i can beat you. i will beat you. so i can become a teacher. and i love it.

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*sigh*

..days seem like years in this month of december..~'emily'

nobody plans to be half a world away at times like these..~'guernica'

im burning like a bridge for ur body..~'tautou'

i contemplate the day we wed..~'quiet things that no one ever knows'

wouldnt wanna wake the eyes that make me melt inside..and if its healthier to leave u be, may a sickness come and set me free, kill me while i still believe that u were meant for me...~'rough draft'

woah hopelessly yours...~'alabama'

its the only time that i ever feel real..~'emily'

i revelle in ur soothing touch- it flows through me.i beg not to escape, permeating my pores, whetting my appetite for more. ~'amandas poem about unicorns'

happiness is a handful of days away. its easier to count the days than hours, we learn that the hard way. the number is lesser in value, and easier to swallow~ 'would you like something to drink'





*missin my meggyo*

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well gawrsh. i havent been into this thing in a while...its snowing out...so yeah. ive got a bit of time on my hands. no work. no school. just good old fashioned time on the computer. haha..'old fashioned computer time' almost an oxymoron...but anyway. quite the eventful time i had this past weekend. my bud william from 6th grade came to visit me...he wasnt even really supposed to go so far from the base without a classmate or whatever but meh. he took a train down...and we hung out. it was like he just took a step into my everyday life...well weekend wise at least. what i really wanna say is...how awesome my friends are. i mean they're just really great people. william was obviously an outsider...and they took him in quite well. even tho his social skills are a bit under-developed..my friends literally rallied to his side when he needed a lil encouragement. ha...we were taking turns giving the weight bench a try....i think it was like 85 pounds. will was having some trouble..and niki and mike instantly went to spot him so he wouldnt feel bad. n it wasnt even like a forced 'oh i feel obligated to do this' kinda thing i dont think....nick gave him the high five deal when we dropped him off at home n stuff....everyone else was really cool too....just naturally awesome friends of mine..... anyway...i think i'm gonna eat. i'll prolly do another entry or 17 over the course of today. *later gators shmators titilators*

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