where to begin ... oh yes
the distance thing.. well
i know what you're doing
to have this distance
between us. how you
believe that if we ever to
kick it with each other,
just ourselves, that id
get more attached. thats
fine, i thought of the same.
not my intentions but thats
how its gonna end up. so thats
where the distance comes in.
you try to keep me away and
i try to stay away. but not to
the point where you feel like
i dont want to be your friend.
like how you thought of today.
my apologiez. i just didnt want
to affect your work, or affect
myself from my work by bothering
you as much as i have before.
boss gets mad at that kinda thing
and i dont want to make this
an issue at the work area, ya know?
and if you believe that i didnt want
to talk to you... why didnt you talk
to me? correct? yet again, its that
distance you wanted. dont say you
dont want it, then that would mean
you're lyin.
i know i was a mess back then but...
just with so little words, ive changed.
not a whole lot but its a start. i use to
get distracted, relationship wise, and
i end up hurting someone. i was selfish
but i learned to change that. there are
other things but... they're still being
worked on.
many girls complain how they cant change
a guy, but once he does, they complain.
some say that ya shouldnt change for
someone but yourself. well im doin both,
for me and her. when you.. like someone,
wouldnt you do anythin to get that someone?
to be able to get that person to like you back?
at the sametime they say a person should like
you for who you are. damn, to think of it, people
say a whole lotta damn contradicting things. oh well.
i just want one chance, i know i've had so many, we've
givin each other many. so much time apart and so
little time together. remember when i waited for
you for 4 months... bleh
so i guess distance is good sometimes, i know
im in your face a lot and it bothers the hell
out of you. i dont want to be a nuisance and
have you hate me. i dont want to break this
bond what-so-ever.

*x*
at work i got hella jealous that
my friends are makin you laugh
so hard and i hardly get to talk
to you...

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Like a Saturday night I'll be gone
Like a Saturday night I'll be gone
Before you knew that I was there

So you wrote it down
I'm supposed to care
Even though it's never there
Sorry if I'm not prepared
Is it hard to see the things you substitute
For me and all my thoughts of you
It's eating me alive to leave you

Maybe it's childish and maybe it's wrong
But so is your blank stare in lieu of this song
Maybe it's childish and maybe it's wrong

Don't wanna be, don't wanna be wrong
You're leaving me, you're leaving me in lieu of this song
Don't wanna be, don't wanna be wrong
You're leaving me, you're leaving me in lieu of this song

I'm breathing in your skin tonight
Quiet is my loudest cry
Wouldn't wanna wake the eyes that make me melt inside
And if it's healthier to leave you be
May a sickness come and set me free
Kill me while I still believe that you were meant for me

I'm finding my own words, my own little stage
My own epic drama, my own scripted page
I'll send you the rough draft, I'll seal it with tears
Maybe you'll read it and I'll reappear
From the start it was shaky and the characters rash,
A nice setting for heartache where emotions come last
All I have deep inside, to overcome this desire
Are friendly intentions and fairweather smiles

And I don't wanna be, don't wanna be wrong
You're leaving me, you're leaving me in lieu of this song
Don't wanna be, don't wanna be wrong
You're leaving me, you're leaving me in lieu of this song

Like Saturday night I'll be gone
Like Saturday night I'll be gone
Like Saturday night I'll be gone
Like Saturday night I'll be gone before you knew that I was there

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www.google.com
then type in "miserable"
press enter
first result

off of someones profile... haha!

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why get mad at ur homiez for thingz they do
and choices they make
wen you should look at yourself
wen u did the exact same thing

SHOULD U CALL URSELF A HYPOCRITE OR NOT?

from sally's profile...
what it says cant
be any clearer!

anyways... same ol.. just been thinkin bout her
mostly. i use to get distracted by... other girls
ya know. but now... fuck it, what does it matter
anyways. i just only want her and thats that.

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there's so much that i've lost
i was late to do anything about it
they always say you dont know
what you gots till its gone
so far thats happened twice for
me this year. it hurts ya know
but... i am still holding on to
that one person. she's so much
different from the others ya know
its how i said i didnt want a typical
viet girl ya know. she is exactly just
that but a lil different. i like everything
about her. the only thing that bothers me
is that she's really close with her "dong seng"
and it seems as if they're actually together.
im the jealous type and thats how i take it.
i aint even with her and im already jealous..
thats what she means to me ya know.
we've been havin feelings for each other
for some time ya know. but what sucks is
that her feelings for me faded away. how
gay is that ya know. im here, still havin feelings
for her. we seem so good for each other ya know.
maybe she see's it or maybe she dont. she just
takes it that i have some flaws that she doesnt
like. i mean, that one thing that bothers me
will always be there ya know, there are
other things too but i still accept her for who
she is, flaws and all. aint no hatin from me
ya know. sigh... such an emo entry. i try
to hang in there though... lifes a struggle,
just gotta go agaisnt the wind till ya get
through it.

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i dont even know whats goin on
any more. seems like someone
else is on your mind.
so whats the point with wishful
thinking eh... i just dont know.
its weird how i get jealous like
this even though we're not together.
damn these emotions and feelings.
but its what makes us human.
wish i could just be as numb
and cold hearted just so i dont
have to suffer as i am now.
feelin empty and alone...
i believe its the worse kind
of feeling a person can experience.
makes you weak and vulnerable.
i do feel a bit weak aside from
lack of workin out. i should start
just to be healthy cuz i dont
feel healthy rite now. so lets see
as of now... i will quit smoking,
start eatin a lil more, healthy
food though. damn.. i havent
had a salad in like forever. i use
to love eatin salad, especially
at dennys. chicken ceasar salad.
sounds good right about now...
theres so much self-improvement
i need to do. with all this... how
do you feel bout being with me?
i just dont know, you prolly dont
either. but cant we at least give
it a try?... so confused...

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