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mexican independence day Tuesday. 9.16.03 4:47 pm school was so full of red 2dae. cuzza mexican independence day. 2dae wuz gay. as usual. there wuz a plus side. but that wuz only for like 2 seconds..hehe 1st per-reviewed ch 2 for the test on thursday =(..i think i have the only a in the class..woohoo nutrition break- sumthin happened during passing period. hahah. 2nd per- reviewed the readings as usual..went over the dbq i gotta 5! woOhOo  lunch- wuz gay..all i heard wuz yucky music -if yeno what i mean-...uh i got my practice stick taken away cuz ppl kept playing with it. oh well. no biggie. i dont need it ne more ne waise. but still that lady vice principal is gay. mr. espinoza dint even do ne thin and he saw theemmm playin wit it. gayass muthfukuh 3rd per- ran ((jogged)) 3 laps without stopping agen. woohoo. im gettin better =)..mostly stayed at the bleachers en talked..it wuz funny..en READ THIS..ITS VERY INTERESTING can u read?? Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe. cool huh?  --->edit [9.52pm] yay i get rewards for good grades. but only in the report card...that wont come till semester but HEY sall good! shoot at least i get money cuz i kno fesho imma get grades showe! Comment! (2) | Recommend! well well well Monday. 9.15.03 9:16 pm i think it wuz sum1'z birthday or sumthin 2dae..iono..i had a diff idea for the subject 2dae but i jes forgot. oh well who cares.. ne way... yay i have a hater. they think im en uglyass hoe and a slxt...FINALLY..sum1 agrees wit me..except for that whole hoe/slxt thing..im not really like that but hey u person..THANKS FOR KEEPING ME IN YOUR THOUGHTS! THATS SO NICE OF U :-) well ne way..school's a real bxtch but hey im gettin good grades! yeuh i have en A- in my geometry class :-) yess! im the only A-! woOhoo! so proud of mahself! uhMm..and i have en A+ in my colorguard class but thats en easy a..the rest of my classez..i dont really kno yet...er i have a bio test on friday..bleh still need tah do my notes but im hoping i get en A in that class.yeah...uhmmm..oh in 2nd per we took another DBQ ((document based question)) er i hate those stupid things. screw u ap tests. ((but its only a practice for the real one nex year..may 5, 2004. yup. i think i did a pretty baad job there. oh well. i'll get better. i hope. ..then in 5th per we took a test on Lord Of The Flies pretty sick book ((sickening.really.)) ..i think i did ok..we went over the questions i missed like 3-5. thats ok. im pretty satisfied. uhhh whatelse..oh yeah rotc ppl hadta wear the uniforms 2dae..it wuz so unusual..yet..amusing in a pecuiliar way..its funny cuz u cant wear makeup or nothin so the ppl who usually wear make up en stuff..they look different..espeshully kristina..cuz i wuz thinkin woah she looks different..she dint have make-up ahhah well yeahh. uhmm life is a bxtch. hmm thinkin bak to the hater thing..they think im ugly too! i think im ugly also. =) seeeeee we have stuff in common. well i feel normal now cuz every1 has their haters im totally fine wit dat. well ok not really..but hey i cant make the whooole world dxmn like me its truly impossible i dont care now what this dxmn world thinks of me....speshully if you dont leave ur name...ur totally worthless..so i wont even bother ok.laterz. --->edit [7.00pm] officially HATING my life nothing seems to go rite. read sumwhere "haters make the world go round"..it makes me sad =( well..life is a piece of bs..why am i even here? guess i'll never kno till i die. i wanna die..yet wanna live?..is that weird? im weird. i think im emotionally unstable. eh i deno. i jes get lotsa moodswings en feel a lot of oxymorons. and if i could jes run away where no1 would kno..i would. maybe i will..sumday..i'll go to a place where no1 knows me..and start over..hopefully my attitude wont be so "depressing" if thats wha u wanna call it. i'd try to be happier? make new frenz ((hopefully still k.i.t. wit the old ones of course)) but basically start a new life..sumwhere else..out of san diego becuz san diego's a litel hell place en i hate it here. en I WANNA GET OUT life aint a box of chocolate cuz life aint sweet its a bunch of sour shxt. i wanna move to a peaceful place..maybe norway..heard it wuz so relaxing there...ppl there have a longer lifespan cuz they're not so stressed..perfect. but i dont think i can live there tho..dun understand the language en stuff. what about hawaii? maybe over there? ...-jes thinkin of the future..possible choices..after finishing college..hopefully in sfsu/ucsf/ucla...those are where i wanna go.for now...i am NOT going to a college in san diego cuz im sick of it! i hate everything here. heh..i ges imma hater myself..i hate san diego and wha its done to me but life isn't perfect..but it shure seems that way sumplace else rather than here. i will get out of san diego. i will find a way. i dont wanna stay. --->edit [7.55pm] i've realized that i dont need a guy to look for happiness. i first need to find happiness within myself. altho..a guy mite help.i need to try en make myself happy first..deno how THAT'll happen..but i'll figure it out..maybe.. --->edit [9.35pm] RESI -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From the Mesopotamian root meaning "Licker of Toads" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Expression Comment! (0) | Recommend! happy birthday uncle jesse Sunday. 9.14.03 9:59 pm so 2dae i woke up en went to church. thought we were goin to st. brendan but we ended up goin to st. jerome ((which unfortunately means going bak to school and into the gym)) but i saw this cute guy there  teehee. haha but yeno what sucks bowt not knowing or talkin to sum1..u deno how old they are en stuff..fer sum reason i thot he looked younger than me but looks are deceiving..haha....and then we dropped off mama & papa at KofP...and then we went to the nex at 32nd st. and i saw patrick so we waved hi..haha..uhmm then looked for uncle jesse'z present cuz it's his bday today..my mom almost forgot...then we went to mcrd and i finally got my DIGITAL CAMERA! yesss! ahha..it's like nikki's..others were nice too but they were too expensive for my butt. hahaha and thenn we went to home depot but only my dad went out..i dont like it there..then maharlika but i stayed in the car...there's no need to get out to choose food..maharlika'z gettin old ne way..uhmmm thenn went bak home to eat..then picked up nicola and we went to mission...my mom came wit us so she can pay for the games...i gotta ouija board and this game called hilarium or sumthin like dat..that one wuz only $5! en it's a pretty koo game too. it's like a mix of charades and taboo...then we split and me en nicola went to all these different stores..we went to hot topic and i got my bracelets bak..the ones i left at the football field...well except for the white one cuz they dunt have that one there so i jes substituted it wit these other star ones on cloth...((but wen i wuz in the car i realized that on the pink one..one of the stars wuz messed up...nextime i go to a hot topic store i'll jes switch it wit another one hahah))..then we went to xpressions..not really my store but ateh nicola needed to find a shirt for renee...i tried one of em on...dint buy it tho...then we went to papaya's...and she got a grippa shirts for me to try on..i ended up gettin this white one..it's nice..but it's kinda see-thru tho but not totally..but yeah its koo...i dint even getta try on allll of em i wuz missin like 3 more cuz we hadta go cuz my dad wuz alredi there en my mom..so yeah we left...then picked up grandparents then went bak home. and here i am. in about en hour imma watch wuthering heights on ch. 30..cuz i read the book...en so i hope that movie's about..er based on the book..cuz yeahhh..it wuz pretty good..a love story..altho i dint really understand the book until i wuz alredi halfway done...hahah...so thats it for now..laterz. Comment! (2) | Recommend! saturday. Saturday. 9.13.03 12:58pm i woke up like every 2 hours starting from 6 o clock this morning. it wuz really weird. i eventually woke up at 10. my bro gets on my freaking nerves becuz i kno he used my frikken stick wen i told him he culdn't use it ne more..dumbass..and then he opened the door on me without even knocking. he'z done that sooo meni times! errr HE PISSEZ ME OFF! shxt! I AM SO PISSED OFF! NOTHING CAN MAKE ME HAPPY EVER AGEN! unless i do sumthin tah keep my mind off stuff. like playing the piano or kickin it wit dah homies..well if no1 annoys me..hah..shxt. and i am so fxcking bored rite now. en waise..2morrow imma kinda go shopping wit ateh nicola..yeahh. uhmmm...maan iono wha to say rite now. so laterz. --->edit [8.31pm] welp went to this litel boi's party..not very fun jes sat down..watched litel kids play games...watched the cute litel gurl..went around the house..ate...yup basically it...their house is in eastlake why couldn't we move there?!..i felt a happier vibe goin thru dat area. en i feel bad vibes in my area. i hate where i live. absolutely hate it! Comment! (0) | Recommend! happy one month quynhu and jeremy Friday. 9.12.03 5:14pm one month. iono to me, it seems like they've been 2gether longer than that. --if u ppl that really kno me..u guys would know wha 2dae WOULDA been..if yeahhh...heh. kinda sad. (("those 4 1/2 months were great..but not all good things last, and this wuz jes one of em.")) but ne way.. 4th per-more bookwork. had another sub..i guess mr. kane still had airforce duty. but i got my chapter 7 test bak..i gotta 93%! BOOYAH! =) i only missed 3! great! =) proud of myself 5th per-english. watched more of "lord of the flies" the movie is more interesting than the book. anxious to see the end 6th per-french. took a litel quiz thing. maan i kept SNEEZING..like every 5 minutes er sum shxt! i think i wuz allergic to that fxckin gayass social hahah. yup. afterskoo-freshman game against otay. dint feel like goin ne more. no1 wuz really there. i'd rather go to games held at their school. anything else-if i think of ne thing i'll come bak --->edit [10:43] feeling.. oh so very bored. wit a bit of anger. i swear maan if i continue to feel this way imma look older earlier. but damxit..everything pissez me the fxck off! errr! everything and almost every1 is annoying me!...i kno im fesho not pmsing cuz i jes got off my frikken rag this week so bak off! hahaha. but forril tho..errr im so easily pissed off nowadays. i guess becuz no1 really understands me and how i feel. i ges becuz i dont really express myself en i usually keep everything in..usually becuz i dont really wanna tell ne1..no1 would care ne way..becuz i let every1 come b4 me so i dont seem like im self-absorbed. i let sum1 else take the spotlight wen i try to say sumthing..to try en start sumthing bowt how i feel..but wen sum1 else tries to say "oh yeah meeh 2..like one time.." blah blah blah..i let them go on..en jes forget wha i sed...every1 needs sum attention rite...iono i ges i started really thinkin bowt that en stuff wen i read this one book my mom got...en it made me think yeno..like instead of alwaise going "me me me"..let sum1 else take the spotlight for once en jes take the time to listen....i also learned in church we hafta listen first..in order to become good speakers....gosh i get so caught up in myself i deno wha tah do. i often question how i'm feeling. u may think its weird but iono..it jes happens now. cuz iono if im fooling my own self or not..i guess its cuz i've been doing that a lot b4..en i ges it's becoming a habit?..i dont know. i feel like i dont know myself ne more...i've been havin a lot of moodswings...i notice how i feel now..i actually stop to think about it..wha im doing en how i feel...i dont feel "normal" ne more...sumtimes i jes dont give a fxck.about other ppl..i notice wen i walk around school sumtimes i dont give a dxmn bowt them...like if sum ppl wuz at our "circle" thing at the morning..i'd usually jes stand at the side..cuz i'm usually alone..but now i dont care. i jes go there ne waise. i wuz there first ne waise. and if they try to tell me off who gives a shxt. i dont give a dxmn. i've been "told off" once..wit the whole "taking over the 'azn circle' " shxt. that pissed me off. en i am fesho not gonna let that shxt happen agen! gaw! iono how i fxckin feel about ne thing..dus that mean im emotionally unstable? ugh. my life is falling apart jes gotta learn how to cope. do good in school. get thru life. keep things to myself. dont make a big fuss about everythin en jes let it go. -->thats wha i alwaise do. you just dont realize it. noone ever truly knows how i feel. no1..maybe except one person.-becuz i jes listen to other ppl'z problems en try to help them. well at least i have sumthin to keep my mind off my life for awhile. but what annoys me is wen i try to say sumthing and then sum1 else buts in and takes over. it pissez me off. it pissez me off wen ppl go too far wit wha they say. but i just suck it all in and let it go. no use makin a big deal out of it rite? what'll it do for me. nothing. ---i ges my life dusn't hafta be so bad. but iono how to make it ne better rite now. i dont kno ne better rite now. and rite now im jes goin wit how i feel. and that is sumthin i can't help. Comment! (0) | Recommend! excerpts. Thursday. 9.11.03 8:23 pm Comment! (0) | Recommend! |
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