Thursday. 11.13.03 3:41 am
Thursday. 11.13.03 3:03 am
Sunday. 11.9.03 3:22 am
ARg--Meeko... tsk tsk tsk... I didn't want the whole world to know! >_< tsk... i guess i'll just put up with it. Kabu fonna go KABOOM and blow up forever! arg... the problem's already hurting me; meeko telling everyone doesn't help--it only brings kabu down! arg....
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Thursday. 11.6.03 4:40 pm
It's such a thrill to try and not get caught! ^_^ I suppose that's why I used to steal a lot. But when I think back to when I did steal, it wasn't because of the thrill--it was because I didn't have money to get what I wanted. If I stole now, now that I have money, then it would totally be for the thrill. I've discovered a new thrill---something that I think is safer than stealing. I just dropped off a note at Air Head's dorm; I stapled it on and ran off. I'm sure him and his roomate wasn't in anyways. I know that he's out on Thursdays, but I dunno if his roomie's ever there. It was just an extreamly short note saying stuff like "college sucks; we're all going through the same thing; p.s. i think my friend wants the hook up" LOL--but the funny thing is that Pang Dao's not even sure if she's ever seen him now. *shrugs* I think it's a really big thrill for her to hide from him since they live in the same hall. Me, it's just fun to pass by and not get seen. I want to keep a low profile. I dunno how low it really is, but I'd like to pretend that it is. In a way, I want us to meet. But then again, that would kill everything. Where would the fun be in that? I like riding this roller coaster! i know it's just cheap thrills, but they lighten up my day! ^_^
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Wednesday. 11.5.03 1:34 pm
All of a sudden, it's like every day's
Valentine's Day. It's not that the world suddenly turned white, pink, and red w/hearts all over it. Suddenly, everyone's become coupled. I knew that everyone was coupled in junior high, but that didn't matter. I didn't give a crap about it then. People dated in high school, but that didn't matter because I didn't care. I suppose I do now, and that's why everyone looks coupled to me. I'm guessing I want to be coupled too. But with who?
My last boyfriend was when I was 13. Looking back on that relationship, it wasn't much of a relationship at all. It didn't even reach the "puppy love" stage. I felt nothing for him and had no idea what he felt for me. I was unable to express myself to him, and he couldn't to me either. We never did anything together and only knew each other because of school.
I suppose I can basically can say that I've never really had a boyfriend. I also know that who ever
he, my next boyfriend, will be, I will fall head over heels for him. My warning is that I'm looking for a serious relationship. I think that whether I want it to be a serious relationship or not, I will make it one--it will seem and be serious to me, but I dunno how it'd be on him.
I also know that I'm looking because I am paying more attention to guys that I see while just walking around. "oO--he looks cute! Hrms.. would he like me too?" Random thoughts run through my head each time, usually the same ones. I also don't want to engage in a relationship if
he hints anything at all about not wanting the relationship. I take that "hint" very personal and see it as early rejection. "He doesn't even want to be here... Why would I want to be w/somebody that doesn't want to be w/me?" And plus, seeing rejection before it's directly tossed at me is less painful than taking it head-on.
-sigh- I've just joined the depressing world of "single and looking."
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Tuesday. 11.4.03 1:53 am
*whew* I went back and read Crispie's old blog. Yeah, he's talking about Kaboom2, not me, Kaboom or Kaboom1 or Kaboom #1. ^_^ Golly, he's so attatched to peoples, sorta clingy. Not very fun. It's actually kinda scary. Should I tell him that?
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