All of a sudden, it's like every day's Valentine's Day. It's not that the world suddenly turned white, pink, and red w/hearts all over it. Suddenly, everyone's become coupled. I knew that everyone was coupled in junior high, but that didn't matter. I didn't give a crap about it then. People dated in high school, but that didn't matter because I didn't care. I suppose I do now, and that's why everyone looks coupled to me. I'm guessing I want to be coupled too. But with who?

My last boyfriend was when I was 13. Looking back on that relationship, it wasn't much of a relationship at all. It didn't even reach the "puppy love" stage. I felt nothing for him and had no idea what he felt for me. I was unable to express myself to him, and he couldn't to me either. We never did anything together and only knew each other because of school.

I suppose I can basically can say that I've never really had a boyfriend. I also know that who ever he, my next boyfriend, will be, I will fall head over heels for him. My warning is that I'm looking for a serious relationship. I think that whether I want it to be a serious relationship or not, I will make it one--it will seem and be serious to me, but I dunno how it'd be on him.

I also know that I'm looking because I am paying more attention to guys that I see while just walking around. "oO--he looks cute! Hrms.. would he like me too?" Random thoughts run through my head each time, usually the same ones. I also don't want to engage in a relationship if he hints anything at all about not wanting the relationship. I take that "hint" very personal and see it as early rejection. "He doesn't even want to be here... Why would I want to be w/somebody that doesn't want to be w/me?" And plus, seeing rejection before it's directly tossed at me is less painful than taking it head-on.

-sigh- I've just joined the depressing world of "single and looking."

hey
sup, just saying hello
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» Augustus (173.201.183.172) on 2010-09-03 09:41:12

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