I know you're going to be a great father. =)


There's no doubt in my mind about that.


That baby will be sooooo loved. You can guarantee that.

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Wow, I didn't think being dependent could be a disorder.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Oh and I like this boy from my class. He is super nice with the bluest eyes.

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I'm breaking apart. I'm letting myself fall apart. Letting every word everyone says break me down. I have a habit of making mountains of mole-hills. I hate what I do. I don't know why I do it. I hate these eyes that make me see things half empty. I hate my brain, I'm such a pessimist with everything I do. I give up on hope just to avoid disappointment. Is that really the way to avoid disappointment? I mean, you just live your life in black and white then when you give up on hope. You don't give things a chance. Is that really what I should do? But the moment I give hope a chance, it lets me down. It's like I'm walking under invisible ladders. I'm bad luck. Life sucks, but is that because of the way I see it? I'm trying to not let my bad days rule over the good days. It's like half my brain is turned off. Reason doesn't make sense anymore.

I want to be alone so I can figure myself out.
but then again, I want to be with company
to allow myself to forget the bad things in my life.

Forgetting about it doesn't make it go away entirely. It just makes it fade, but it's still present. I guess I need to be alone and that's exactly what I'm going to do.

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It's no revelation that no matter how much you'd like to think of yourself as a strong and independent person, you still care about what other people think of you. That's just how this whole thing works.

See, I worry about stupid little things and I get pretty embarrassed easily. I'm trying to learn how to be relaxed in situations like these. I'm trying to learn to let go and just forget about what others think. The problem is that I let it get to my head, thinking if I embarrass myself in front of other people that I'll be just another funny "that girl is so dumb" story for someone to take home to their family (which I know, in the back of my mind, won't happen).

While all this is happening in my head, another part of my brain screams "SO WHAT?!" Why am I wasting my energy and time on something like this? Who are these people to me? They're no one. I shouldn't care what they say to whoever they say it to because I DON'T KNOW THEM. But for the life of me, I can't really let that go.

So I decided to judge this whole situation on the way I handle things. When somebody makes an idiot of themselves in front of class, do I tell my friends about it? No. I don't. I don't even remember what's being taught in class. When somebody is nervously speaking in front of class, do I laugh about them afterwards? No. I don't.

So I should just keep in mind that everyone that will experience my lecturing/teaching will be on their best behavior, respecting my interpretation of the subject (though it may be done wrong or right).

I'm so freaking irrational about the whole thing. The semester is going to end too.

One day I'm going to laugh about this...

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I hate that feeling you get when you're so infuriated. I swear it's like your heart beats like it wants to escape your chest and let itself explode. Well, that's how it feels for me anyway. My fingers start to tingle like I want to do something so irrational without a second thought and I want to say things without having to think about it.

This girl calls me immature for pointing out that she's been copying things that I do. She admitted she copied me, then she takes back that she copies me. And when I tell her, that I'm not the only one who notices, she admits it. Then again, claims that I'm immature. I wonder what her definition for mature is then. This isn't about being immature or mature, it's about the fact that she can't be original.

I know this is weird, but being copied is my biggest annoyance I really can't stand it when people copy me. I don't know why. I let it slide sometimes but when it becomes constant, that's when it starts to bug me.

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I have millions of tiny secrets. I’m sure I’m not alone on this one. Here is one, I tell everyone I hate fish and refuse to go to a seafood place no matter how out voted I am when my friends are craving sushi. So about week ago or so, my seester and I decided to try California roll for the first time. Since it didn’t contain fish, we figured it would be safe. Well we loved it. In fact, I’m craving one right now. To save face in my office, I’ve become a closet sushi eater. It’s not a big deal and that is why I call it a tiny secret. I need to swallow my pride more.

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