Hey, I'm back!

I told ya I would Then again, it's not like much has changed since yesterday.

This past week, I've been bad. I've been REALLY bad. I went shopping.

Not once.

Not twice.

But THREE times!



Yes, I know, I know. I feel so ashamed. I'm a... I'm a.... SHOPAHOLIC!

But I so couldn't resist. I had $900 in my checking account and no bills to pay for the next 3 weeks til I got my next paycheck. I got my Corolla re-financed by Wells Fargo, got my APR lowered to 8.5 % from 11 % and since Wells Fargo was going to send the payoff check directly to Fireside, my previous finance company, I had an extra $900 bucks. - to spend

But I did put $200 towards my savings. And I did pay a (measley) $10 towards my Wells Fargo Platinum Visa. That left me with over $600... I couldn't just let it sit in my account, not doing nothing but gaining interest! Ugh, that would've been too smart of a thing for me to do.

So instead, I bought myself a cute pair of black Nine West stilettos (I've been having the urge - and the courage - to wear high heels lately. It makes me feel more grown up!), a new Kenneth Cole wallet (I LOVE Kenneth Cole. He's my favorite designer when it comes to shoes, jewelry, bags!, and wallets), Ashley B earrings & a necklace, a 6 drawer cabinet for my room (Super cute! It's painted with these pretty colorful flowers on it!), a Tommy Hilfiger t-shirt, Ralph Lauren socks, a bulletin board that you can hang your keys on and comes with two picture frames, a blouse for my mommy (Can't forget the moms!), a pretty pink orchid plant, and a blue Nike hoodie for Jason (He deserves it... I guess).

Ask me how much I spent?!?!?! C'mon...

$200. Not bad right? I don't feel too guilty. I just feel like this cause I went to the mall three times in one week. I gave in to temptation. Haaaay!

BUT I am proud to say that I'm a great bargain shopper. I think that's why I like to shop so much. Cause I know where I can set my limits and I won't even go within a 5 meter radius of a shopping mall unless I know I have an extra $100 in my checking account. I won't go near my savings! I like to stretch the value of the dollar to the very last cent. And I'm so good at finding sales, clearances, and stuff! I hardly ever buy anything at regular price. That's my trick.

So if any of you ever want a shopping companion to help you out with buying really cool stuff at reasonable prices, let me know! I would be more than happy to help you spend your money. - at a bargain price, that is.

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Okay, I'm back. The weather these past two days has been icky.

I hate rain. I'm serious.

Well, I don't really hate it, I just hate this kinda rain, the kind we've been having lately. I feel like I'm in the Philippines with all the flooding and fat raindrops seeping through my jacket. I can't even wear my cute Nine West stilettos cause I'm scared I might slip and fall and crack my head open! - (and that wouldn't be a good thing, me being in the Workers' Comp department)

So yeah, I'm not in much of a good mood right now. Weather has that affect on me. I woke up this morning really energized and ready for another day of work and school. I even woke up early this time (6:30 AM baby!)! So I proceeded to the garage cause I wanted to take Frank out for a walk before I hit the shower. I haven't done that in a while. - I meant take Frank for a walk. My mom usually does it for me cause she wants to and well, I'm lazy. So I open the garage door and what to do I see?

Gray skies, a soaked driveway, and a gust of wind penetrate my warm skin. I look down at Frank and tell him, "Sorry buddy, maybe next time." I can totally read the look on his face. He's telling me, "Yeah, I ain't trying to handle my business in that kinda weather." So we went back in and I took my time to get ready this morning. I sooo wasn't feeling going out today. I just wanted to stay home, watch DVDs while cuddled in bed with my mom and Frank, nice and warm in my new comforter. But then reality kicked in and I remembered the piles of reports that needed to get edited and done, and how just last week, I was out for two days due to oral surgery.

So here I am at work. I've been here for about an hour already and I haven't even started on my reports. I've only been able to go through email which I haven't even picked up yet from the printer. I thought I would use this time to write about my mood at this moment. Are you enjoying the venting? I'm sorry if you're not.

I do have other stuff to write about, I swear! It all started on Friday...

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So Friday, I had my wisdom teeth removed. I was put under general anesthesia meaning I wasn't going to feel NOTHING! Thank God for that cause just being able to see it was going to freak me out. The nurse assisting Dr.Roth was really cool. I told her about school, Frank (I tell anybody who is willing to listen about him... I feel like a mommy!), and religion. Then the doc finally came in, injected me several times to sedate me and I was off in la-la land for the next hour or so. It was weird. I remember getting drowsy and falling asleep, but I could also remember the conversation that Dr.Roth and the nurse were having while they were pulling out the bad boys. They were talking about Martha Stewart! They agreed forthcoming that she was headed for jail. Hahaaha, it was so weird! It's like I was in the room and I was invisible or something. I'm sitting there in the operation chair (or whatever you call it), drugged out of my mind, but yet I'm not. I could feel my mouth being stretched open but I couldn't really feel the teeth being pulled out of gums. Man, whatever Dr.Roth gave me, I want more of that! Hahaahah, I'm kidding.

So after about an hour, the nurse woke me up and I was very light headed. I couldn't even stand up and walk to the van so both my mom and the nurse had to assist me. My mouth felt like it had been punched! It was swollen, bleeding non-stop, and throbbing with pain. It was way more unbearable when I got home. I couldn't sleep, the gauze in my mouth had to be changed every 30 minutes cause it was soaked with blood, and I couldn't even sip water! I was prescribed Amoxcicillin (an antibiotic) and Vicodin (a very addictive painkiller) that I had to take very often in the day. The Vicodin sure helped with the pain but I was warned by many that I shouldn't rely on it all the time.

I was so worried all day because at 7 PM that evening, I had my screening for baptism. It was supposed to be the night before but our minister was really busy. I was scared I wasn't going to be able to make it for my screening cause I couldn't drive and I couldn't talk. Ahhhh! Talk about major stress-mode!

Luckily, my mom and Jason came to save the day! I love those two, they're the best ever. I was absolutely babied by my mommy all day. She came in every two hours to check on me, she rented a plethora of DVDs for me: Runaway Jury, Intolerable Cruelty, even Tagalog films! - Noon at Ngayon and another one but I forgot the title. Jason made it just in time for me to catch the last of the screening. By that time, the swelling and bleeding went down and I was able to get my screening done with flying colors. Yipee! I'm really glad I had Jason by my side that evening. What a relief!

So the "hard part" was over. I got home, got everything ready for tomorrow: extra clothes, ironed what I was gonna wear the next day, got the address and directions to the church (for my parents), etc. I slept around 12 midnight and set my alarm for 6 AM. I couldn't really sleep, mostly rested my eyes. I laid there on my bed with hundreds of thoughts circling through my mind. I can't believe I was going to get baptized in a few hours! It was such a big deal to me, a pivotal time in my life where I knew everything was going to change from then on. I just couldn't believe it... crazy! I kept asking myself if I was prepared for this and I kept questioning myself to make sure I knew deep down inside my true reason for deciding to get baptized in the Church of Christ. And the answer was always the same and feeling I felt when I thought it was like butterflies fluttering in my stomach! It's the nice nervous feeling you get when you see the boy you have a crush on, or receive an awesome present. You know!!

I woke up around 6:20 and it's a good thing I did cause my alarm failed to ring. Turns out I set it for 6 PM! Hahahaah, I'm a dumb ass. So I readied myself and headed over to the church first for a quick prayer. Then off to Jason's cause we were going to ride together. I got to San Jose on time and settled myself in. Most of the other candidates were younger than me and I was thankful that it was at this age that I got baptized. Not to say that the younger ones aren't as lucky but as an adult, you tend to be more appreciative of this kind of event cause you are fully aware of its signifigance and all. This journey in itself has been wonderful.

This is gonna sound really corny but during the singing of the hymns, I think I felt the Holy Spirit. This overwhelming feeling of completeness came over me and I let it all out. I cried! It was so weird, I couldn't control it. I mean, I wasn't balling or anything, but I couldn't stop crying. I was so happy and very, very thankful that I was at this point in my life that in just a few minutes, I was gonna get baptized! It was so freakin' cool!

Then it finally came. It was time to be immersed in the holy water. And you know what I did? Instead of walking towards the females' side to get baptized, I walked towards the males'!

It was sooooo E-M-B-A-R-R-A-S-S-I-N-G!!!

I felt so dumb. That was my blooper for the day.

After the ceremony, we all went to Olive Garden to eat. I was so happy that the following people were able to make it: my parents, Jason and his family, James, Janna, Marbey, and Quyen! The lunch was a lot fun even though I had a hard time eating and stuff. I'm truly blessed to be surrounded by such great people. I'm also grateful to have shared this with them. It meant a lot to me and the fact that they took time out of their schedule to celebrate with me is ALL GOOD. Thanks guys!


I still have lots more to write about but I think I'll have to get back to you guys on that. It's about time I get started on these reports. My boss is out of the office till Monday and just because she's gone doesn't mean I stop working. Tsk tsk, I'm so bad. Okay, I really gotta go now.

Bye!

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Today is my day-off from both work and school. I don't normally have class on Friday nights cause they don't offer at Solano. And even if they did, you won't catch me in class on a Friday night trying to get my education! I'm off work today because in about an hour and a half, I'll be going in for oral surgery to get ALL FOUR of my wisdom teeth pulled. Yep, you read that right, all four. I'm not looking forward to having to feel sore afterwards but I am happy about those bothersome teeth being removed finally cause they bug the sh*t outta me!

I thought I was going to be able to rest all day today after surgery so I could recuperate as much as I can for baptism tomorrow (more about that later). But instead, I was told that I had to come in at 3:30 pm for a final bible study and screening. It was actually planned for last night but because it was already 8:30 pm when worship service let out, it was decided I would get my lessons and screening tomorrow. So I'm feeling nervous, anxious, and scared right now with all the time strain going on. But I'm used to feeling like this cause I'm the absolute worry-wart. I just need to relax, take a deep breath, and PRAY. I'm serious, it totally works.

I hope all works out well today and tomorrow. I have to be at our Vallejo locale (that's our local church) by 7 am tomorrow for a quick prayer then off to San Jose to get baptized. This is a huge step for me. It's something that I've juggled with for the past year. Everyone and everything is open to interpretation so it hasn't really been what I've learned that I've questioned. I struggled most, I guess, with the whole "converting thing". It was difficult to tell my parents at first that I was even just considering to convert. Me attending bible study and church was fine for them, but to actually consider wanting to change my faith, my membership in the church, was just something I couldn't fathom telling them. I grew up in a very Catholic based environment, attended private school all throughout my elementary, junior high, and high school years. I even got in to Ateneo De Manila, a very Catholic university in the Philippines. I pretty much accepted my Catholic formed beliefs to be true and there did come a time where I questioned these beliefs. That's why I didn't enter in to Confirmation, which is the last step towards complete membership in the Catholic church. I, somehow, always felt that there was another path that I had to take towards finding my true faith. And I think this is it.

Actually, I know this is it. After finally getting the guts to tell my parents about it, we had a long, long talk. I stated my reasons and defended every single thing I said with regards to what I've learned and now believe. In the end, my parents gave me their blessing and told me that if this was something I really wanted for myself, then I had their support. I was so freakin' happy!!! And from that moment on, this new found faith I have has never faltered nor grown weak. It's only gotten stronger and made me feel like a being a better person in general. For some reason, I've been able to finally let go of many of the hurtful things that others have said or done against me. Forgiveness is the total stress reliever and when you finally let your heart feel that, there is no end to the love and happiness and peace you can find in yourself.

My faith, a faith that has been renewed for me by my anticipated membership in the Iglesia Ni Cristo, has made me a better person. I am now praying and looking to a Lord that I know I am supposed to be feeling that way towards. My faith is no longer in vain. I say thank you more often to people, I am more understanding towards those who are angry or frustrated with the hindrances that life gives them. I am more open to forgiveness and communication, criticism and praise; I have learned to love my family and friends without condition and feel the same towards my enemies.

And you know what? It feels pretty damn good.

So, I think it's about that time I get ready for surgery. I haven't eaten since 6 pm last night and I'm starving! Please keep me in your prayers today and tomorrow cause I'm gonna need them, people!

Check ya later, calculator.

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It's the dreaded Monday morning... the beginning to yet another long week consisting of what it mainly did last week. For me, that would include 40 hours of work, 12 hours of school, and 3 hours of church. Oh goodness, life couldn't get any more... BORING.

Well, thank goodness for weekends. They remind us, especially me, what it means to have a break. And this past weekend was a nice lil' break. Something different from what I would normally do on weekends: homework and a late movie. Instead, I visited my buddy Jason in Alameda and we had dinner with his extended family from Sacramento. I had met April and Don before, last year I think. They are the cutest couple and they have, of course, a cute lil' girl named Serena to complete the family cuteness. I miss my niece so much that every time I get the chance to cuddle with or coo at a baby, I take it! It was nice seeing new faces and meeting more of Jason's inner circle. Like most of those that I've met, they were really cool.

They aired the Grammys last night and that was entertaining. Lots of good performers last night: Beyonce, Outkast, White Stripes, Christina Aguilera, Celine Dion, Alicia Keyes, Justin Timberlake, you name it. I've grown a liking for Beyonce just this past year. I really didn't think much of her when she first came out as a solo artist but I'll be the first to say that I was wrong. She has a lot of talent, especially as a solo act. - that includes performing on stage, singing, dancing, etc. She's got it, man. And she's totally hot. She's confident in her abilities and her beauty. I think that's what made her stand out in my eyes. Chick took home 5 Grammys, I think.

Other than that, I went to church, tried to upgrade my cellphone cause mines is so old it runs on burning coal (but I have to wait till next month), and bought Frank yet another leash. I'll try to think of something a bit more interesting to write about soon. I think I left my brain back home in bed this morning.

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Today isn't even half over and already, this day sucks. - Well, it almost did.

I didn't sleep all too well last night and I woke up this morning with a pounding headache and stuffy nose. Don't you just hate that feeling? Plus, it was freezing this morning like it has been for the past two months. I don't know about y'all but I prefer sunshine over sweaters any day! I was almost late to work this morning cause my brother feels he needs a personal wake-up call from me every time it's time to head to work. So yeah, I just wasn't feeling it from the moment I got out of bed.

I get to work and there's HELLA stuff to do. I mean, I come to my desk and am already making a mental plan of what I want to get done first and I'm trying my best to stick to that order but every few minutes, my boss emails me with another task she needs done. Sheesh! It's not even the excessive workload that bothers me anymore, but the confusion its causing. I feel like I'm being bombarded from all angles with work, Work, WORK. Plus, the oh-so-reliable Payroll department once again forgot to include my wage increase on today's paycheck. Oh my goodness, I truly felt like I was gonna blow.

So I decided to take a longer lunch today and just get some fresh air. I drove down to Solano Mall, grabbed a bite to eat, and treated myself to a book at Barnes & Nobles. There are a few titles I'd like to get and most of them were available at the bookstore, but too expensive for me. So I decided to buy just one and it was a book that wasn't even on my wish list. It's called "No Greater Love" by Mother Theresa.

I'm so glad I opted for it! I read it the whole time I was at Panda Express, I hardly touched my lunch. There is this beautiful prayer written by Saint Francis that was adapted within the book. It goes like this:

"Make us worthy, Lord, to serve our fellow men throughout the world who live and die in poverty and hunger.

Give them, through our hands, this day their daily bread, and by our understanding Love, give Peace and Joy.

Lord, make me a channel of Thy Peace, that where there is hatred, I may bring Love; that where there is wrong, I may bring the Spirit of Forgivenessl that where there is discord, I may bring Harmony; that where there is error, I may bring Truth; that where there is doubt, I may bring Faith that where there is despair, I may bring Hope; that where there are shadows, I may bring Light; that where there is sadness, I may bring Joy.

Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort, than to be comforted, to understand, than to be understood, to love, than to be loved, for it is by forgetting self that one finds, it is by forgiving that one is forgiven, it is by dying that one awakens to eternal life."

After reading that, I feel very uplifted. It's like all the stress I had for this day was gone just like that. I realized that I was bothering over petty things, things that really have no matter or substance in the bigger picture of it all. And after seeing it that way because of that prayer, I felt a whole lot better and hopefully, I can spread the same momentum.

I hope you all had or have a nice day today. YOU DESERVE IT!

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The week I arrived from the Philippines was the same week I started school. I enrolled in 4 classes but ended up dropping one. Sheesh, I’m not even one month into the semester and I’m already dropping classes! I ended up dropping my Photography 35 class. I really didn’t want to because I love photography, it’s a favorite hobby of mine, but the supplies and film developing would have been too expensive. Our teacher gave us an estimate as to how much we would probably spend for homework assignments and it came to about $200!!! For each assignment, we have to go through at least one roll of film and from that roll, we only pick two pictures that we liked. What a waste of money, film, and effort man! Plus, we wouldn’t be using the normal 35 mm film, but rather slide film. I guess so we’re able to share the pictures during class and stuff. But yeah, it seemed like an interesting class, just too costly for a working student like me.

So here goes my Spring Semester 2004 schedule:

Monday – History 25: Introduction to Native American History
Tuesday – Psychology 40: Drugs & Behavior
Thursday – Philosophy 5: Critical Thinking, Philosophical Literature

I’ve attended all three already and the teacher in each of the classes rock! Originally, I had Sociology 40: The American Family, on Mondays but that class got cancelled cause there weren’t enough students enrolled. Luckily, Paul had the same class and we ended up running down to the Humanities building to do late enrollment in Native American History class. I’m glad I have my buddy, Paul, with me this semester. I always run in to him in the weirdest of places. Before I left for PI, I saw him at the Laundromat! And how cool is that? We end up having a class together this semester also. Me and Paul met during my first semester at Solano. We were both enrolled in the Philosophy 3 class, Mr.Roggli’s class. Coincidentally, he’s teaching my Philosophy 5 class this year. Another familiar face, thank God!

Three crucial and very important classes! They are going to count towards my IGETC Curriculum so that I can transfer to UC Davis next Spring semester. After this semester, I still have to take my Math and Science requirements, but I can get that done in both Summer and Fall. Man, I can’t wait to get school done with. I’m so tired of note taking, test taking, essay writing, etc. I am so ready to move on and settle down. The best advice I’ve been given so far is to just enjoy these college years. I really am trying, it’s just a bit difficult doing so when I’m working at the same time! Haaaayyyy.

By the time you know it, I’ll be in my cap and gown walking down that aisle reaching for my long-awaited diploma. I am so juiced to transfer already.

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