sporatikaddict's Weblog Site • NuTang.com

Today is my day-off from both work and school. I don't normally have class on Friday nights cause they don't offer at Solano. And even if they did, you won't catch me in class on a Friday night trying to get my education! I'm off work today because in about an hour and a half, I'll be going in for oral surgery to get ALL FOUR of my wisdom teeth pulled. Yep, you read that right, all four. I'm not looking forward to having to feel sore afterwards but I am happy about those bothersome teeth being removed finally cause they bug the sh*t outta me!

I thought I was going to be able to rest all day today after surgery so I could recuperate as much as I can for baptism tomorrow (more about that later). But instead, I was told that I had to come in at 3:30 pm for a final bible study and screening. It was actually planned for last night but because it was already 8:30 pm when worship service let out, it was decided I would get my lessons and screening tomorrow. So I'm feeling nervous, anxious, and scared right now with all the time strain going on. But I'm used to feeling like this cause I'm the absolute worry-wart. I just need to relax, take a deep breath, and PRAY. I'm serious, it totally works.

I hope all works out well today and tomorrow. I have to be at our Vallejo locale (that's our local church) by 7 am tomorrow for a quick prayer then off to San Jose to get baptized. This is a huge step for me. It's something that I've juggled with for the past year. Everyone and everything is open to interpretation so it hasn't really been what I've learned that I've questioned. I struggled most, I guess, with the whole "converting thing". It was difficult to tell my parents at first that I was even just considering to convert. Me attending bible study and church was fine for them, but to actually consider wanting to change my faith, my membership in the church, was just something I couldn't fathom telling them. I grew up in a very Catholic based environment, attended private school all throughout my elementary, junior high, and high school years. I even got in to Ateneo De Manila, a very Catholic university in the Philippines. I pretty much accepted my Catholic formed beliefs to be true and there did come a time where I questioned these beliefs. That's why I didn't enter in to Confirmation, which is the last step towards complete membership in the Catholic church. I, somehow, always felt that there was another path that I had to take towards finding my true faith. And I think this is it.

Actually, I know this is it. After finally getting the guts to tell my parents about it, we had a long, long talk. I stated my reasons and defended every single thing I said with regards to what I've learned and now believe. In the end, my parents gave me their blessing and told me that if this was something I really wanted for myself, then I had their support. I was so freakin' happy!!! And from that moment on, this new found faith I have has never faltered nor grown weak. It's only gotten stronger and made me feel like a being a better person in general. For some reason, I've been able to finally let go of many of the hurtful things that others have said or done against me. Forgiveness is the total stress reliever and when you finally let your heart feel that, there is no end to the love and happiness and peace you can find in yourself.

My faith, a faith that has been renewed for me by my anticipated membership in the Iglesia Ni Cristo, has made me a better person. I am now praying and looking to a Lord that I know I am supposed to be feeling that way towards. My faith is no longer in vain. I say thank you more often to people, I am more understanding towards those who are angry or frustrated with the hindrances that life gives them. I am more open to forgiveness and communication, criticism and praise; I have learned to love my family and friends without condition and feel the same towards my enemies.

And you know what? It feels pretty damn good.

So, I think it's about that time I get ready for surgery. I haven't eaten since 6 pm last night and I'm starving! Please keep me in your prayers today and tomorrow cause I'm gonna need them, people!

Check ya later, calculator.