It was a rare event for me to have lunch with my workmates because I usually eat in office followed by an hour nap. But today I decided to join 2 workmates for lunch and we were bitching about people as usual. I found out both of my workmates are looking for job. In fact, according to them the workmate in front of me got a job offer but she was extremely undecided and somehow declined and placed the blame on my 2 workmates. How and why I got no idea but this workmate of mine loves doing so. That is why we like to tease her...

I have also thought of switching job too since I have worked for one year and in need of new environment. I saw a similar job opportunity but I didn't apply because I seriously want to establish in the environmental field not politics or economics. And that was what the job opportunity was about. I decided to forego knowing opportunities come once.

I think back to search for what I really want. And I really want to do research work especially going out of office. I know it's boring stuff especially when comes to writing... But I like it. It somehow gives me a sense of achievement. *Grin*. And I could tell people "that's my writing" and it would last for ages: the mark of me on this earth. I'm so full of myself isn't it? I like to do field research. It sounds like working in excellence centres of universities are the best spot for me.

I could change jobs... but I'm trying to get scholarship to study masters. So undecided... If yes I need a better paid job. Haha...

Speaking of switching jobs, I'm resigning from my part time job next week. I'm now going to type my resignation letter...

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My revenge mood from yesterday not subsided and I'm now declaring war because I'm sick of keeping quiet and receiving all damages. Thanks for all the comments of yesterday's entry.

I was browsing alone in Kinokuniya in the afternoon. I don't seem to get books with stories that I want to read. This time I really take each book out to read the synopsis not only judging by its cover. Most of the stories nowadays are overlapping and similar. Is it so hard to have something different? I want to read chic-lit but with a twist. Or should say I have had enough? Because the plot is now so predictable to me after reading 3 chic-lit books? I want to read something sad but it won't be chic-lit anymore.

I went over to the spooky genre section. Books on vampire stole all the spaces. And I don't want to read anymore vampire stories unless it has sad ending or something really different. But it would be nice to read vampire stories with humour for a change.

I went over to the fantasy section and nothing interest me. The books on the shelves as though spelled BORING to me. I feel so sad.

Then suddenly I recalled back an essay I wrote during high school for an English exam. I started the story with a given sentence and completed it sadly. It was a story of 5 girlfriends who are best friends. They lived together in a house apparently. (I don't remember much ...). But there were only 2 main characters. This girl who was me and one of the girlfriends, A, had a fight and somehow I ran away from the problem and ran to Holland but I died because the ship sunk. Yes yes to Holland is by air but somehow I was just on a ship. So I came back to the house after a few months to visit the 4 girls. And if I'm not mistaken I was supposed to marry someone or marry someone for A because she dislike the groom or something like that. Complicated huh? So when I came back the girls welcomed me and we chatted like the normal days though there was a conflict between me and A. We chatting and I almost said I died! Haha but no it was just trailed off. Somehow we decided to drop the topic for good ol' time sake. While they were cooking downstairs, I was upstairs playing videos of us having good times. I actually already indicated in the story that I was a spirit by saying "I used my new found powers of elevation." Later we had dinner together and I left the house for good. My death angel was outside waiting for me, waiting for me to fulfil my last wish and poof I went.

What a complicated story I have written. I wondered what my teacher thought about it. And I miss creative writing classes. Maybe I should just transform my weird dreams into some stories. Oh I just had one last night. It was pretty awful...

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Taking revenge without being caught is so hard. For example, if you stab someone and even if you clean the evidence, all those 'cleaned' evidence will just lead to you. And the next minute you know the police is inviting you for a ride in their rotten and smelly car for a free drink if you are lucky. If not, the typical souvenir you get is punches at the expense of your beautiful complexion you painstakingly took care of it. I know you would "hallelujah" to God deep inside your heart when you didn't bother to take care of the zit on your nose.

I think I would prefer to take revenge on someone by using a pawn while I'm behind a curtain. Why do I need to reveal my true self when executing the plot? Hahaha... I know I'm evil.

Speaking of being the mastermind, I never had the chance to plot because I believe in karma: I sow what I reap. And I want to live a better life in the next life even though my life in the next won't be any better since karma can be accumulated by just thinking. And I have been thinking a lot. Just now my mind was trailing on a scene of me taking the sharpest knife from my kitchen drawer and pointing at ....

And then I asked myself when did I become such a revengeful person. I would always remember who has hurt me in my whole life and sometimes what they did to me. Even if I don't, my brain will input the person as "hurt me before" regardless of the person's status and relationship. I'm amazed with my brain inputs.

And it's so much easier to stab someone to make one feels better ...

On the brighter side, I almost become a happy banshee because I get to order 2 anime novels that I almost died knowing there was no ending of the anime. I really hope the novel ending is much better than the anime itself. Listening to the soundtracks makes me so sentimental especially the OP. I almost cried listening to the OP.

Haha... what anime makes me 360 degrees different? It's called Twelve Kingdoms. I really need to thank Katrina for bringing up this topic. I didn't know there's a novel!! OMG I can't breathe now ...

*fainted*

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I had great fun yesterday playing badminton with my workmates. I have not played badminton for like years and it was good to play with my badminton racquet. And I thought I need to get a heavier racquet.

We played crazily... I told one my of workmates to bear with me because I'm a slow player and HAHA I made him ran around the court. Hahaha... And the effect was my whole body is now aching: from my butt to my feet but right side is much more affected due to my scoliosis. I actually did some warm up and I guess it was not long enough. Sigh ... ok lesson taken.

I seriously need to go back to sports soon for stronger bones if I want to live longer. Hell no I'm going to have weak bones when I'm older. I would surely regret for the rest of my life. And I just need to play some sports that are access-free to me.

Hehe ... anybody wants to join me?

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I never expected this stalker of mine to call me up in the office today. And I finally told him off that I'm not and won't be interested in you so stop waiting for me. So now settle we are friends and the next 20 minutes I was listening to his love problems. I didn't know he was suffering from a love problem and I sympathise with him. It's the normal problem you hear often: the girl is playing the guy. He got played and that's why he was almost ran down by a cab last weekend. And that's why he called me to tell me his realization of "tomorrow does die." And I added "tomorrow never dies" with the courtesy of James Bonds copyright.

It was not nice of me to joke but I was trying to change topic. And my workmates were hovering between laughing and concentrating on their computers when I consoled him "bunga bukan satu kumbang bukan satu" (malay way of saying there's a lot of guys and girls out there; bunga is referring to girl and kumbang to guy).

I actually feel sad for him. I was actually thinking why would a person plays another person's feeling. And this stalker was telling me he's hurt and yet he's plunging himself into the world of suffering just because he loves her. I asked back if she loves you. And if she does she won't play you. And what the hell with the probation if she already has a boyfriend of 5 years without him knowing she's seeing someone else?

My main question is why would a person still loves another person if she/he is treated as dirt. Why? I asked the stalker back if she's relying him to give her happiness. I don't see the point of having a relationship if only one person is happy at the expense of the partner. I don't understand this scenario. I actually told him to dump her. Don't wait for her and try joining MCA's Cupid Club which has high successful stories or some speed dating. Come on do something then crying your heart out at the corner of your body quietly.

Though he stalked me, I still must have compassion for him.

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I thought it was VERY fun atteding a lot of conferences in a month other than enjoying the benefits of eating fine food in hotels. But today's last day of conference proved to me the opposite. Let just say I got so tired from conference... And I got a forum to attend tomorrow evening...

I was attending a conference organized by the UNDP on eradication of poverty. There were international participants from Africa, Cambodia and Vietnam. So it was interesting to meet new people. And this was a 14 day conference but only 4 days for local participants. At first I thought it was pure troublesome to not have the conference within a week but now I'm thankful that it wasn't. Attending the last 2 days worn me inside out. And thankfully my mum has been serving dessert that has anti-ageing properties. Haha.

Although I have been served sumptuous food for the past 4 days, I could say I'd had enough. So good the food were I got constipation and indigestion. But before that I managed to get some fondue as today's lunch dessert. It was terrific. The fountain was so huge that that was the first thing I noticed when I entered the restaurant. And believe that none of my friends noticed it was a chocolate mountain until a guy from Wild Asia stood beside me and asked what was I doing. "Dipping my marshmallow into the chocolate?"

And then yesterday a newly made friend of mine was asking the emcee about his hosting. He apparently to be the host for Hello on Two on RTM 2. And I went "Oh really? Sorry I don't know and have not even seen you...". We laughed. He added "It's air at 8 am". And me "No wonder, I'm still sleeping la or at work liao." And guess what he's from Penang too. Hahaha. Nice charming guy.

I took photos with the international delegates. I felt quite sad because time indeed flies. Why time has to fly in the first place?

I transformed into a banshee for a while last night when a friend told me some Naruto spoiler. I was crying silently for the whole night until I fall asleep. Unbelievable isn't it??

Today I got cheery again because I get to watch Ugly Betty where I could see Amanda hitting Sophia Reyes in the lift for calling off the engagement to Daniel live on tv. It was a good laugh.

Tomorrow another forum to attend ... yes minus the food.

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