I'm still keeping in touch with some of my collegemates from all around the world either via facebook or msn messenger. And today I was chatting with an Indonesian collegemate who is trying his luck to get a job in Taiwan. For whatever reason why Taiwan, I never knew because he is the type that never shares information and I feel it is not necessary to know since it is quite obvious that his girlfriend is a Taiwanese. He even mentioned to me that he is ready to settle with his girlfriend.

Though he and I are not really on the same wavelength, we still could chat with each other on several matters. However, most of the time we talk about life, working life and how to be rich. HAHA. C'mon it was just an idle chat. And not to mention most of the time he would be asking about a collegemate he used to like. (Well I'm not sure if he still has a crush on her but you will be the judge by the end of this entry). He always asked me how she is doing and what is she doing because I'm very close to her. I'm pretty honest in answering these questions like she is still alive and she got a new job and such. Well, no harm at all to update a friend of another friend right?

Recently, I don't really like the tone of this friend's speech via online. He has been advising me to get a rich boyfriend to be well taken care of for life. Well, I don't really like this comment because I'm very feminist, but looking at the current economic politics, I'm looking into this option. HAHA. Can't blame me, darling, for prices for everything have gone up except for labour. Diplomatic as always, I just entertain this comment with 'I'm trying my best to hook one!'. But the reply from him is always "Just follow XXX because she does best in seducing guys. Follow her style, and you will definitely hook a rich guy." I'm offended. Though XXX flirts with people sometimes unintentionally but she didn't mean it that way; she is a nice and good friend to me. She is just being nice to people and unfortunately that is her style. Be it girl or guy, this female collegemate of ours does that. And being diplomatic ... I just replied "Yea yea."

In addition, this Indonesian collegemate always asks me what kind of friends I have made. I understand this question because we always discuss how little friends we have in our network and how crucial to expand our network for opportunities. But he keeps on asking if XXX is a useful friend to me, how useful is she in any way to me or if she is sharing any information with me. I know XXX has a lot of high profile contacts within her network, but so? Is that my business to ask? Actually I did asked but she never shared with me. But so? She helped me when I needed a place to stay in New Zealand; she lent me money when I needed money so badly during my unemployment. Does it matter if she doesn't share her contacts with me?

Never mind. I just calmed my emotions and continued chatting with him....

So today, I greeted him online, knowing he needed support badly because he is having difficulty in getting a job in Taiwan and he is somehow depressed over his working visa. We chatted and the same ol' questions popped up on my msn messenger: What is XXX doing now? I replied she is kicking and alive. And the next question was What is she working now? I replied somewhere in W. I also told him that her ex-boyfriend is coming to Kuala Lumpur. And he somehow got exploded. I was surprised to see those FCUKs appearing on my screen. He sounded mad to see them having an on-off relationship. I also informed him that the guy is trying to get a job here. He flipped and started cursing with more Fs. He immediately told me to leech on XXX and her ex-bf with the reason that if I leech on to them, I will definitely get a better life, especially if I could get him a job or something like that.

It was my turn to flip. But still I was trying to contain my nuke, because I simply thought he was under stress due to the anxiety of his current employment status.

Later, he asked me to look at XXX's CV to know how great her skills and work experience is, and asked me to be on par with her. I should have said 'I don't have her CV' but I said I have seen her CV. Instantly, he demanded to see it. My response was "I'm not giving it to you." He got real mad by responding 'no wonder none of your friends share information with you since you don't even want to share information with them in the first place.' It was my turn to be angry. I replied that if someone else's requested for his CV without your consent I would never give his to he/she. He was silence for awhile and acknowledged that I was ethical, but closing it "suit yourself".

I got real annoyed and disgusted. So I asked him back what kind of friends he has made since he is trying to be a guru to me. He replied "I cannot share my contacts with you since I don't have my friends' consent.'

Ah. Wonderful. Maybe I should have just replied "FCUK U". This incident made me remember why we had a short period of cold war. It was this behaviour that made me so mad that I shouted SHUT UP at him during a language class back in college, and I did it in front of over 20 coursemates, hallmates and my Chinese lecturer.

To be frank, he is disgusting. I don't need to know what benefits I reap by befriending a friend. I just need to know what kind of friends they are to me. I don't need a reason to be their friends. Is this why rich people sometimes try to maximise/manipulate the people surrounding them? Just because the rich people 'know' they have so many friends because their friends want to get something our of them? Isn't that saddening?

This kind of insecurity would lead a person to nowhere but suffering, loneliness and emptiness in life. I know I'm way too ethical in everything I do, but I'm a strong believer of my own beliefs. It's not stubborn but why tarnish my own image? Why betray a trust just to get a superficial friend in return?

What say you?

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Yamapi releases his third single at the end of July with the title One in a Million. At first, I thought the title was pretty common. Tell me, how many songs are there with this same name? I think Backstreet Boys has the same name too. I thought his previous single, Loveless, has a more memorable name. But the most important characteristic in the song is the tune right? I would say it catchy and addictive but only after listening 3 times. It took me quite awhile to like this song. At the beginning, I find Yamapi's voice weak and doesn't seem to blend in with the music. His voice is like a stick sticking out a picture. Strangely, this is what I notice in his Loveless song too. Well, I guess this is his style.

Another note is this lyric doesn't make sense or rather I don't understand what the lyric is all about. On lyric matter, this is his second consecutive time in releasing sad love song. The only thing I like about this song is its catchy disco-like tune. Listening to this song just makes me wanna dance along.

If you are a fan of Yamapi, this is a definite must buy.

Rate: 4/5

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My mum and I are religiously watching a Korean drama called the Grudge: The revolt of Gumiho every Monday and Tuesday. It's about .... will tell you some other time but I have a question here:

Why can't we just leave demons as they are if they don't harm humans?? There is this priest aka hunter keeps on tailing the mother and daughter who are a nine-tailed fox demon. They didn't do anything in fact they have a sad life. Betrayed by the father/husband, the Gumiho mother, is what they are called, tried her best to provide the best for her daughter, who is half demon half human. The mother didn't do any harm, and yet she was hunted. Mother and daughter had such bitter life... and why the hell the hunter can't leave them alone?

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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I did a huge mistake today. It was a huge blunder and I was expecting blows from my boss but was grateful that she didn't. In fact, she was on my side and didn't say anything about my mistakes other than apologising to other colleagues who were involved in the event. I just wanted to hide away but I could not when my boss was in the middle of trying to convince the colleagues to do it our way.

Another colleague was just telling me and my boss what is wrong and right, and how we should do things. Sometimes I wonder what her role is. She knew we have an event going on and we need the very same space someone has just booked for another event. But the space we needed went to that someone just because 'I didn't book it'. The blame was so simple. That was all whoever needed to blame someone for their mistake.

It is so hard to say this out. I so in need of someone to hear what I have to say, but that someone will be you. Sorry to upload this from my chest to the blog.

My boss understands that I have too much on my plate to have this blunder. I'm grateful for her understanding but my colleagues are unreliable. Because they often bully me and ended up I have to do the work I have delegated. But I need assistance.

This is my second mistake. I thought I have done everything correctly for this year. Unlike last year, everything was a mess. And this year is a better mess but my boss insisted of having someone to attend the event, and that involves protocol. My life is so hard. I just need a break.

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I have been working a lot on my laptop recently. Because of that, I have been straining my fingers a lot too. And my fingers got strained after I lifted my hand from the keyboard. It affects my wrist straight to the elbow. It hurts whenever I carry a bowl or even something light.

I went to see a doctor today and she diagnosed me as occupational hazard. Though it was not caused by the computers in my office but I still wanna make a report because the computers in the office are always located 45 degrees on the desk. What worse is the computer at my new workplace can't be moved to 90 degrees. The wires are so short that you can't even move it an inch. I need to do more research on this area because I bring up my case.

Typing doesn't really make my wrist and finger hurt because I know how to accommodate the pain. But the pain annoys me because I can't carry heavy things. And why doc didn't give me some kind of hand clasp in blue ... so I can tell boss to give me slaves!!!

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