i havent had that dream in months....its evolved over the months...nate asked me once to let him untie me, but i dont think he really meant it...the core remains....im here...shes there...over time i was tied to a tree...birds, lots of birds...swooping and pecking.....and whispering...they whisper but i cant understand...if i could only understand the words...i tried to shoo them away and help her, but in time the dream evolved...and now im tied to a tree...shes always the same...and as in most dreams, i know shes dead but alive in my dream (there's a different recurring dream where i dont realize that until halfway through) ...shes there watching...i scream for her to go, run, save herself, but she wont...she doesnt speak...just watches with his terribly pained look on her face..like she cant help me...the look any mother watching her daughter be devoured would have...i tried to untie myself one and they loomed over her as if to threaten..."you get away, shes next"....so i stayed....i tried to listen....sometimes her look says "please, just listen to them! understand!"...its hard to listen to things that are striking and pecking...the dream evolves, but i still cant listen...

i always wake up screaming or crying....

it's not even ALMOST wednesday yet....

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