Date & Time
8/12/2013 It's Been Awhile
Monday. 8.12.13 3:49 am
Long time no see NuTang family! I've decided to start blogging a bit more than I used to. Below is a "Life Goals" paper that I had to write for one of my classes. As you will read, I aspire to become a writer. So, I figured using this blog more often can only help; give me practice and what not. Please, feel free to critique my writing. Your input will only help me to improve. Thanks for reading!
Vince Vaughn once said, “I found that if you have a goal, that you might not reach it. But if you don’t have one, then you are never disappointed – and I gotta tell ya, it feels phenomenal.” I spent the better part of fifteen years thinking this way, and as cynical as it may be, this was my credo - my way of life. Between getting into trouble at home, and not doing well at school (not because I wasn’t smart, but because I didn’t like being told what to do), I was doomed to a life as a loser with no direction. It was only recently that this idea of a goalless future changed. This change would be caused by the birth of my beautiful daughter, and I can assure you this: I will be a good father, I will provide for her, and I will be successful in life.
At the age of nineteen I had plans of enlisting in the Air Force and then going on to work for NASA after I had retired. I spent an entire summer working towards this goal, and I was determined to achieve my goal. Sadly, this honorable dream was crushed only a few months later. I still remember that day like it was yesterday. I was at a party with my friends, celebrating the Fourth of July and I was to swear in at the Rangers game the next day. After the party I foolishly decided it would be ok to drive home intoxicated. I had no regard for what I had at stake and it was foolish for me to even be at that party in the first place. Needless to say, I was pulled over and arrested for Driving While Intoxicated resulting in my hopes and dreams shattered. I did not let this keep me down, however, and in just a couple of years later I was back on my feet again.
Videogames have always been an interest and hobby of mine. I can still remember when my oldest brother bought me a Nintendo Entertainment System for my fifth birthday. Ever since that day, I was hooked on gaming. Throughout my childhood I owned just about every gaming console that came out from that point to the present day. It was only when I met my ex-girlfriend that my views on gaming were forcefully changed. She absolutely despised them. She just couldn’t understand why anyone would ever waste their time with such a “stupid” activity. In order to keep the peace I had to give them up. I later learned that you should never have to change yourself to make someone happy. It was that constant conflict of interests that ultimately lead to our break-up. Surprisingly, we lasted nearly two years before the inevitable happened, and it wasn’t but a month after that when she found out she was pregnant.
During her pregnancy I decided that I would give college a try, after all, I had a new motivation to succeed and that was my daughter. I wasn’t sure (and I’m still not totally) of what I wanted to do while in school, but I knew an education would be the key to providing for her. The first class I took was English Comp I. To my surprise, I found that I was a decent writer (at least according to my instructor I was). And despite hating school growing up, I actually enjoyed the experience this time. Despite enjoying school and making good grades, the question of “What do you want to be?” still haunted me.
After reading countless articles from various gaming magazines, I decided that reviewing games looked like a fun and exciting career. I plan on taking as much writing as I can while I’m here at TCC and work towards being an editor at Game Informer Magazine or one of the many gaming magazines out there. With my daughter in mind, I know that I can, and will, make anything happen to support her. I will continue to take classes, learn as much as I possibly can, and be the best father and mentor to her I can possibly be. Who knows? Maybe one day I will gain custody of her and she can grow up playing videogames just like her old man.
New baby girl
Wednesday. 3.20.13 5:19 am
Miss Cambria Jade <3
6 lbs 15.2 oz 19"
This one brings tears to my eyes. It really captures that feeling you get when you see your baby for the first time. She was so strong, and this picture is absolutely beautiful.
Tuesday. 2.12.13 4:35 am
Sunday. 1.13.13 12:15 pm
I never have been much of a blogger, or a writer as a matter of fact. Strangely enough, I feel like NuTang is a safe place to express my emotions. We are a small community, I like that. Not many people know I exist here. I've been here for about 8 years and I still come here every now and again to unload my thoughts and read about your lives. If you were to look back at my later entries, you can find out exactly what made me the person I am today. You were here back in my Boys Ranch days. You were here for my first real girlfriend. You were here when I had high hopes for my life such as the Air Force and NASA. You were here to see my down fall, and you will be here to see my rise once more. I didn't intend for this entry to be a dedication, but it seems like it's turning out that way. Thank you for being here guys and gals.
I guess I can show ya'll an updated picture of me. It's been a few years since the last one was taken.
Who knows, I may end up writing a new entry soon. I'll be starting my second semester of college this week and I'm sure I will have lots of stuff to talk about.
Thanks for reading guys, you are like family.
What's been going on in my life
Thursday. 1.3.13 7:25 am
Where should I start? Perhaps it would be a good idea to stop making annual entries so I don't have so much to talk about.
My ex-girlfriend is pregnant with my child. She is due in March of this year (obviously). I am excited to be a father, however, the mother is making things difficult for me. Shortly after we broke up in the middle of June (this year) she found out she was pregnant with my child. By this time she was already with another person. This person, according to her text message about an hour ago, wants to marry her. Now I'm asking myself, who the fuck marries a pregnant woman while in the military; that you have only known for less that six months since you're gone all the time; that is pregnant with someone else's child? Sure, I sound a little jealous and that is because I am to be honest with you.
I loved her and the feeling wasn't mutual. I wanted so badly to join the armed forces and due to my past, I couldn't. Now she marries this guy, who she barely knows, that is exactly what I wanted to be. Now, I'm not saying that he is better than me, no. But rather that he has the job and the life I wanted to have with my ex. Good for that guy, I guess.
Deep down I feel that she is just going to end up divorced and stuck with another child. Unfortunately for my ex, she is a fucking idiot when it comes to just about everything from book smarts, to every day life. She has no idea what she is getting herself into. All she knows is that she has this "spark" with the guy because it's still new. We were together for a year and a half. After about 4 months of spending every second together that "spark" was gone. She is in for the same fate this time except she is going to be married to the fool, putting my daughter through a divorce. At least that's how I feel about it.
Phew, it felt good to get that off my chest!
This past month I have been online dating like a machine. I had one really cool girlfriend for about a week and then she just stopped talking to me. This has happened a couple of times now and I'm starting to wonder if I will find love. I know I'm young, and I still have several years ahead of me (hopefully), but I want that love now! I'm sick of waiting! I want my daughter to have a mother and father to come home to. A good mother and father, not some dumb girl and an Army douche. When she gets older you can bet your ass that I will be fighting for custody.
Anyway, there's my annual update. Sorry that it was all drama. Perhaps I will be a little more optimistic on my next entry. Thanks for reading.
Monday. 2.7.11 10:35 pm
"I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant."
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