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undecided
Break-up
Sunday. 1.2.11 9:28 pm
No, I didn't get my heart broken. I wish it was me though because at least I know what to do after this.

Well, the bugger decided to break-up with my friend on new year's day. And then he tried to fix things up (because they were in a relationship for like 6 years), like being friends after the break-up. This is the problem: he doesn't realise how much harder it is for the other party. I can't write it anywhere else because I don't think she told anyone else but me and her sister but I really need to get it out of my system.

I know how confusing and hard it is to not being able to let go of someone and I really want to tell him to stop calling her because he is making it real hard for her. Though I cannot do anything unless she wants me to and all I want to do is not make her even more sad. Seriously.. unless the two parties in the relationship just drifted apart, you cannot be friends with an ex.. especially when your relationship is a long one. To be honest, I do see his view, since he views her as a kid, but honestly.. he has no idea how hard it is to let go of someone who still show that he cares.

I know she's strong, sometimes much stronger than me. I just hope that he will stop calling her to make sure that she is alright because right now he is no right to know anything at all.

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Surprise #2
Friday. 12.24.10 10:31 am
I decided to update here because this blog lack some sort of a cheery mood and because I've already updated the other one.. Haha!

So, my second surprise this Christmas is from a dear friend and she sent me GODIVA and something else that I will not tell!!!

These are the pictures!!



This is what my Godiva was in...


This is the variety of chocolates that I have

So.. I really want to say that gifts are bonuses to me, its the thought that counts because I don't usually get gifts and so even the simplest things make me really happy.

Yea, I am a happy person this Christmas and right now I don't really care if I get that other thing I wanted because I feel really blessed with the friends I have now and I wish that I will continue to be blessed with their friendship.

Once again, Merry Christmas everyone! And have a wonderful, wonderful new year!

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End
Saturday. 12.11.10 6:30 am
I think, this is the end of a chapter in my life. I may not be finishing school just yet but since when do chapters in life has to only end when there is something official ending like school, marriage or when someone dies?

I want this to end. My tarots been showing Death and The Tower quite often lately, whereby both signifies change. The former a permanent change while the latter is a temporary, surprise change. Not that I live by the automated card readings but I have been thinking about it and well, things are getting a little stale and I can roughly see the pattern, a routine I don't want to be in anymore.

So here, is to change. Hopefully I am strong enough to get out of it. If not, I only have myself to blame

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Thursday. 11.25.10 10:10 pm
That guy who is unexpectedly nice. I don’t know why you are being so nice, I really am curious but I guess I'll find out when the time is right, or maybe never. I really, really thank you for the favours you’ve done for me. Thank you for showing me that gentlemen still exist and there are people out there just like me and that there are things that I can always bitch to you. I will always forever and always remember that huge, huge favour you did for me and will forever be grateful.

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What are you implying?
Monday. 11.22.10 4:41 am
I had this conversation with a classmate of mine today about having help on your subjects and he said "but you had help from the start so you should not have any problems for this subject" and right now I'm thinking "are you implying? that I have help other than my teammate to do my assignment for that subject?"

You see, I have this friend who is working in this field that is one of the subjects that I am taking this semester and although I can always just call this friend up and ask for help, I didn't. I only asked for help as and when I really need them because even if people don't mind it, you should really try things out for yourself. So it just struck me, and surprisingly I am not angry at the way this classmate of mine thinks. It's a bit juvenile, if you ask me, to think that just because I have safety net, I will definitely make good use of it.

I take a lot of pride in my work because I know that at the end of the day, I want to be proud to have written a good paper, a good article and I like to know that it is 100% my or my team and no one else are involved with it other than proof reading. Even on the verge of giving up the assignment, I will do it on my own.

Just because the other party is someone I look up to it does not mean that I will have the nerve to bug the other person everyday or every week for help when I can perfectly wait for my lecturer to do what he is paid to do and unless my lecturer is really unhelpful, then only I will turn to this other person.

So... my point for this post is.. I understand that you're jealous of me but I think I've gotten to a point where I really couldn't care less of the underlying intentions you have when you say things, dear classmate of mine.

I only wish that I can select some days and re-live them over and over again =)

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Confusion
Saturday. 11.13.10 11:11 am
I'm in deep, deep, deep confusion.

I didn't know one person can make me so bloody, god damn, confused!!!!

Like the One Republic song, Secrets,

"Tell me what you want to hear... and I'll give all my secrets away"

and like Michelle Branch's song, Everywhere,

"So tell me, do you see me?"

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