I'm so fucking tired of this shit. Tomorrow is going to be my day, so I don't want anyone to fucking bother me. No fucking calling me up asking for anything cause the answer is going to be no. And this is a straight up fuck you to everyone. Yes, that means you. Fuck you.

and...especially fuck you Jamie Best.

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...fuck I need sleep. My eyeballs are getting itchy.

I guess I built you up in my mind. I guess you never knew me. I wouldn't let myself get as close to someone who would treat people the way you've treated me. I will not have feelings one minute and rebuke them the next just because they upset you. This is how I feel, that is how I felt when I wrote it and I can't handle having to apologize for how I feel. All I have is how I feel. I feel hurt and used and dirty and stupid and smart and smiling and clean and wrong and fucked up and fucked and so so fucked up. I know this is melodramatic. I feel melodramatic, but it's true. melodrama and cliches have to come from somewhere. I'm fucking sick of apologizing for everything. I don't know how to stop doing it in real life, that little murmur of "I'm sorry" that escapes my lips constantly, so I'm just going to stop doing it here. Ok...I guess we all know I prolly wont:-/ so...I'm sorry...we need to stop fighting over this dumb things....jesus, smoking socially, what happened to us? I love you.

yeah. I'm so fucking beautiful and wonderful.

and I'm not fucked up.

I was so right to believe you.

What the fuck am I talking about anymore?

I'm developing a bad habit, cracking my knuckles. Shit, why can't I fall asleep...

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mood: tired
listening to: Bowling for Soup, Cold Shower Tuesdays
watching: myself type this

Sometimes life is at that point when you think What the Fuck... This is it?
I don't feel angry or depressed. Just mildly disappointed. Like when you open up a nicely wrapped Christmas gift expecting some sort of great thing and you get socks. Then it's just like... Wow... I got fucking socks, great, socks...
And someone is probably gonna be like, "But it's the thought that counts."
Yeah, that's the worst part. You are thought of so little that the only gift idea that comes to someone's mind when they think of you is socks.
Oh well. At least my feet will be warm as I trudge on on this barren road of life.
Sigh.

p.s. Damn, SWAT is a shitty movie. Another two hours of life wasted on a horrible movie. Great.

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You have wings of STEEL. No one's really
sure why, but at this point in your life you've
shut off emotion to the point of extreme
apathy. You are cold and indifferent much of
the time...or perhaps you're just a good
pretender. Next to impossible to get close to,
even those who do never see the real you. It's
entirely possible that YOU don't even know the
real you. You have a certain fascination or
attraction to destruction on a massive scale -
disasters, perhaps even death or the concept of
the Apocalypse. Because you hold so much
inside, one day you're simply going to snap.
Then the mask will fall away, and your true
wings will be revealed. Until then you will
deal with whatever comes your way in icy bitter
silence and acceptance. On the positive side,
you are fearless and immeasurably strong - not
much can crack through your defenses. You
intrigue people, who can't help but wonder why
you're the way you are. A loner and one who
spends much of their time brooding and
contemplating life and death - you are a time
bomb waiting to explode and create some
destruction of your own.

*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla

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Today was a great day.:) Gym class was awesome, haha. Tom told me and Chelle he's not sure if Micheal Harris is a guy...and then he told us Damian[sp] Hadlock was gay and he's like "EVERYONE KNOWS HE'S GAY!!". Ooh, Maybe you had to be there but it was funny. Today in directed, wayyy to damn funny and so was Beg. Word... Gotta love you Manda, Schucker and Anthony...I'm sad to see our good times come to a end after tomorrow:( sighers.

Manda, Kels, Mir, Schucker, Tyler, Dev and Rodney...I love you guys!!!

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Pick a band and answer only using that band's song titles: Sum 41

1.Are you male or female? Hooch
2.Describe yourself? All Messed Up
3.How do some people feel about you? Makes no Diffrence
4.How do you feel about yourself? Hyper-Insomnia-Para-Condrioid
5.Describe your girlfriend/boyfriend/interest: Asshole
6.Where would you rather be? My Direction
7.Describe what you want to be: Nothing on my Back
8.Describe how you live: Pain for Pleasure
9.Describe how you love: In To Deep
10.Share a few words of wisdom: Riegn in Pain

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