Friday. 1.14.05 1:21 pm
well this was i very interesting week. i spent some time with my ex tonea that i havent't seen in 2 years i spent most of the week with her and i saw her son who is now 2 years old. i took her out to the movies to see
white noise
. it wasn't really a scary movie but very interesting. well im heading to va state on either saturday or sunday. i look forward in coming back but at the same time some people i really don't want to see. well i need to take care of some stuff so till next time peace.
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Monday. 1.3.05 1:08 pm
well it its the year 2005 and as i look back on last year i mad alot of mistakes in having cetain people in my life so its time to eliminate the people who just cause me alot of headaches and stress. well for christmas i was in GA. i spent alot of time with my aunt and some of her friends. i went to a straight club for the first time and i went to a gay one as well. i love that my aunt is very supportive of me. i meet some fine ass girls, one of them her name is ericka. i talked to her the most when i was at the club. we traded numbers and we are still talking since that night. there was a downfall when there was this huge drama that happen with my ex saronda
well are not talking anymore
THANK GOD and me and leslie don;t really talk anymore and my aunt that i shouldn;t call her because she thingks that she is playing games with me. other then that i went to go see Darkness where clearly i though it was a waste of time because the ending was a blower. i went laser tagging and went shopping as well. i can;t wait till honda battle of the bands cuz my aunt is going to be there and after that is finish she is going to kidnap me from the hotel so we can go have a night out or i might spend time with ericka. well all i got left is work till i got back to school on the 16th well , next time this is a brand new year and im a totally different person.
peace. 
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Monday. 12.13.04 10:11 am
well i decided to not talk to
her till things are straight with her
. its hurts me so much that i made the choice to stop talking and that im at the point where pain right now would be a good idea. i guess i have to except the fact that she don't want to be with me right now and she is trying to be considerate on my feelings. so all i can do is be me when i go home and make the best of how the situation is. im going to miss talking to her while i am at home for winter break. its like that i have this deep depression that im trying so hard for it no not take over my life. i don't want have the feeling that i don't care, but that i actually do. i don't want to effect the way i feel towards
her because deeply i can't stop feeling the way i feel for her, but sometimes when im frutrated im like
. well im going to actually going to end up staying till tuesday so that gives me a chance to just chill one more day till i have to come back on saturday. well other then that i just hope that things get better and that
me and her
are at a steady good note. till then i will try to write in here on my winter break considering that my computer at home died. i have a couple more arrans to run till time
peace
mood: sad
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Saturday. 12.11.04 9:21 pm
well today was ok i really didn;t do much considering that there is barely noone on campus. its so boring here, but i get to go home on monday till i have to go back on saturday to play at the graduation. i told myself that when i do go home for the winter break that im not going to mess with anyone else when technogly im not with anyone at all, but regardless of the situation
she is the one i want in my life right now while im at home im going to try to enjoy myself and at the same time stay clear of certain people who i feel can just ruin my whole winter break. i wanted to see
her today, but i didn;t get at chance to. i hope i get to before i leave on monday. well anyways i don;t see my day getting anymore interesting so im going to go find something to keep myself occupied. tell next time
peace.
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Saturday. 12.11.04 8:47 pm
well this is my first enrty in nutang and i decided to write about what is going one with me right now. well it was going to be 2 weeks that me and my girl would have been together, but we are not together right now cuz she feel that she is hurting me cuz she still has her feelings for her ex. the thing is even though we are not together things are still going on between us the thing it was lik that though when we weren;t together. i don;t want things to get to the point where my feelings are gettign stronger, but we are still not together. i really don;t know what to do cuz sometimes i feel she doens;t care about me cuz she doesn;t tell me how she feels and i try not to assume anything cuz she did tell me that she likes me are and she does care about me.....so confused. then there is this girl back at home who wants to merry me but we have never been together. im so frustrated i found out my mom might be going to Iraq next year and i won;t be able to see her for 2 years. things are making feel real shitty right now. then my ex i find our had a girlfreid but was trying to get back with me while she was with someone. she wants me to come see her but i rather cut my eyes out then to see this
satin of a daughter BITCH..grrrrr. then i found out that my ex raychel still has feelings for me and that she still loves me. i was shocked as hell cuz she sure fooled me with how she was always pushing me away. but yeah i have to stay at school till the 18th to play for the people who are graduating this smester. then im going to georgia for Christmas then im going to work till i have to go back to school. well till next time
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