Why is it always me vs time when it comes to life. I can't beat time. *kicks the clock* I wish there was a way to stop time!! I'm always competing with time to try to finish my projects. It turns me into a crazy lady by the end of it. I usually barely beat time and finish my projects but I have been sick for 3 long weeks and is struggling to survive.

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It's coming to the end of day one. T_T I'm currently doing JUICE FASTING. T_T It's suppose to help my health, but right now I don't see it. lol
I have soooo much food around the house that I want to eat. T_T I have no will power. T_T The pile of chocolate I got recently is calling out my name. T_T I have to keep busy to stop myself from wanting to eat.

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Sometimes I feel like I don't exist. I feel so empty and out of place. I just want to scream and cry for no reason.

I feel like I can't cope with the society right now and I just want to hide... Is that normal? I guess I'm getting Hikkomori Syndrome... If I didn't have to go to school or work then I'd never go out unless I buy stuff for school.

I feel like a shadow of what I was a few years ago....

I used to be so happy and full of life but I feel like my social connections getting smaller and smaller, while everyone around me, their social connections expand more and more. I feel like I don't belong anywhere anymore.

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Sometime I get really nostalgic... I wish to return to the past. Sometime I think I miss my first love then I remember why I don't. =_=;; Then I realize how old I am.... well I'm not that old but I feel kind of old since I don't like crowds or loads of noise.

I wish I was in my teen days when I was not afraid to fall in love. -_-;; I think I'm afraid to fall in love since I have no time for the person and also I don't know what is "love". I think I'm to immature to fall in love. If that is even possible... *sweats* or my some of my friends think I just have too high expectations for love... I actually don't have much expectations... it's just love never comes my way... =P

*sigh* I WANT JAY CHOU's ALBUMMMMMM out now.... lol I pre-ordered it but it was delayed due to the leaks.... =X I'll be honest and say I heard a few songs.... lol. Stupid youtube... lol I just wanted to watch the mv for "dao xiang" =_=;; but 女兒紅 (nu er hong) is addictive... I hope it will be on the album but maybe not with that name... I think of the alcohol when I read the name~
I love this part:
"你說過我不該
you said that I should not
在這時說愛你
say at this time that I love you
要怎麼証明我沒有力氣
What would prove that I have no strength
可是暫停卻算不算放棄
If I stopped then would it be considered that I gave up

我說我不該不該
I said I should not should not
不該在這時才說愛你
should not say I love you at this time
要怎麼証明我沒有力氣
What would prove that I have no strength
我隻有一天回憶
I will have a day I will remember the past"

The translation is reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally rough since my mandarin sucks and my reading of chinese. =-=;;

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I seriously need to rant because I've been so pissed offfffffff!!! I thought that was karma for doing bad things... but what the hell..... I helped a lady with her baby stroller off the bus and I dropped my mp3 player. I didn't notice it til the next day when I was looking for it in my bag. Maybe if I didn't help her I would not have dropped it. My poor creative Zen player and my sd card.... TT_TT I don't dare tell my family or they will yell at me... ugh.... over $100 is gone.... TT_TT I want to cry but I have to focus on my projects....

I'm done ranting but I have no mp3 player now... =( My old mp3 player is busted... =_=;;

WHY DO I HAVE THE WORST LUCK!?!?!?

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watching: U-Turn
listening to: Big Bang - Haru Haru
mood: tired

One week of starting New Media year 3~~~ TT_TT I feel so stressed out!! I miss the summer. T_T I spent most of my summer doing nothing fun... T_T I spent the last week before the long weekend on vacation. The view there was nice and the sunsets were pretty. The car ride to there was painfully butt-numbing!!! -_-;; 5 hours by driving.

i updated my gallery... yay? lol

ugh~ i'm sleepy... i want to rant some more but i need sleep more than ranting. lol

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