Ricky woke up about 12:30 am. So I asked him if he wanted to watch Shrek. his response. Shek, Shek! So I went and put in the DVD figuring he'd be out in 10 minutes. He climbed up on the couch with me wrapped his arms around me and cuddled me. The entire length of the movie he stayed up glued to the TV cuddled up to me. He'd never done that before. He's never been a lovey dovey cuddle child. Thats Kahli. I adored it. :)

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Started in 1996, I found my dear sweet neighbor and probably the only person who loved me unconditionally Dead before school. The night before she had asked me to stay the night because she didn't feel good. Instructed me in a list of things to make sure I got if/when she passed. My mother said it was ok because she never asked for me to stay on a school night. She got up once during the night said she was dizzy fell and cracked her head. I called my mom to come over crying because I knew what was happening. She hugged and kissed my mother telling her how much she loved her. We begged her to go to the ER but she refused. Saying that she was 76 and it was her time to be with her beloved husband. That all she wanted was to know I would be there if anything would happen. I was up at about 5:30 that morning. Getting ready for school. She had woken me up at 5 telling me to get ready. I was so thankful. I got into the shower, got back out, walked out to tell her goodnight, she was still warm, still breathing, but she was gone. I was at her side for her final breath. I called my mother over to her house, telling her she was dead. I was screaming it. Shaking, crying, scared to death. Praying. Her last words to me were Tell Pat and the kids I love them. Pat is her son. The rest of that period was a blur. I told my mom under no circumstances was she to give the police Pat's number. I didn't want some cop calling her only child to tell hhim she had passed. I would do it. I wasn't allowed in the house because my mom didn't want me to see them trying to revive her. So reluctantly I went home... Telling the EMT's not to touch her she had lived her life and didn't want to come back. I went home and called Pat, his wife answered... I said this is Maggie, she responded Mom's dead isn't she? I said yes, we had a good cry they were in Pittsburgh that very day. So thats how it all started.

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Why do you ask? Cos September has been an absolutely horrid month... One to go down in the record books as something I'm quick to forget! I'd say only 3 really wonderful things came out of this month the discovery of nuTang my godson Hayden and my new friend Wendie.

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mood: mentally drained, exausted, bored

listening to: goofy mike the neighbors big mouth in the living room

watching: wrestlings on but read above


Why is it my ex is devout to making pie crust promises? My 3 year old daughter dreams of recieving mail from her biological father who lives in NYC. My son only knows Toby and honestly I like it that way. Kahli loves Toby that is her daddy, but the one thing the ex's family pounded into her dead was that they show love by material things. Here kahli only wants hugs kisses and a penny sucker, from him she expects nothing really but wants mail from him because he won't come see her. I won't send her there he's asked but there are to many things that tell me no. We're talking infestation. Roaches and mice, living hand to mouth, never any real food or money for food. I've told him come here we'll give him a place to stay and he can see my kids. Loss.. His very own loss.



So today he and I spoke and he promised the delivery of this box for these kids and a 75 dollar money order, (he doesn't have a support order yet but he will):



ex (8:06:32 PM): i never recieved any im from u...i came online and mims sent me the message a second afterward
ex (8:06:54 PM): i will send you the box and money order on saturday
me (8:07:16 PM): is this something I can depend on?
ex (8:07:20 PM): the doctor told me i would be sick for two to three day which is why i am not doing it tomorrow
me (8:07:22 PM): or just false promise
ex (8:07:34 PM): no i promise i will send it on saturday



I bet you when I post three business days past saturday the box still hasn't arrived. My son had his 1st birthday in April and never recieved even a card from him. The claim was made that the gifts got infested with critters. I doubt they were ever purchased.

I'm thankful we atleast have Toby. He's there when the kids need anything. If ricky needs it he gets it. Same goes for kahli and this includes her occassional I wants. Although the cutest thing is F-S-S he sits every night right before she goes to bed and has snack with her. Usually he runs out about 8pm to get her cheese dip and doritos cos thats her favorite. But they sit on the couch cuddled up and watch cartoons. atlease we have that.

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MORNING ALL FIRST HUMAN CONTACT THIS MORNING OTHER THAN MY KIDS OCCOURS ON YAHOO:

scott31r: hello
Maggie: do I know you? (standard for me,if I don't know the person especially male)
scott31r: no, not yet (should have clicked ignore then)
scott31r: how are you?
Maggie: fine thank you and yourself?
scott31r: i'm goof
scott31r: good
scott31r: you single?
Maggie: no.
scott31r: hummmm
scott31r: married?
Maggie: no
scott31r: ok good
scott31r: do you mess around?(ok what next)
Maggie: no
scott31r: i like your pic
Maggie: ty
scott31r: are you shaved?(OMG!!! WTF!!!)
Maggie: would you like to meet my oldest and dearest friend Iggy?
Maggie: Yeh I think so.
Maggie: Buh-bye now

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NOPE

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