::bike scene by taking back sunday::

You've got this silly way
of keeping me on the edge of my seat
But you're only counting the clock against the train
And I'm miserable
And you're just getting started
I'm miserable,
And you're just getting started....

You've got me right where you want me
(let's never talk) Let's never talk, let's never,
talk about this again because...
I didn't want it to mean that much to me
I didn't want it to mean that much to me
I didn't want it to mean that much to me
I didn't want it to mean that much to me

Anyway... yeah

hehe haven't posted in this lately 'cause, well nothing has been going on ¬¬ But hey, no one is on so I might as well do somethin' right ^^¿

-No Help?-

Oye, I hate the feeling of wanting to help a friend (a close one too) sooooo much but feel as if I'm no help at all. I keep on making this lame excuse to myself "If I was there with her I could be more of a help." I feel like I'm doing my best to support her... but it's not enough = ferreal if I lived near her I'd be keeping her company 'cause that's all she wants... someone to talk with. Since all her friends became closer over break, but left her out since she lives the farthest. And I know how that feels! Not being invited to this and that 'cause you "live to far", and not even being called to see how you are. Kinda funny over break how her and I realized how much we have in common ^^¿ just like old times with her. She said she was glad to talk with me 'bout it all last night, but I wish I could do more for her... well I gotta go eat lunch now later ^_~

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Don't even take a breath
The air is cut with cyanide
In honor of the New Year

The press gives us case to celebrate:
These air raid sirens
Flood barbed wire skylines
By artificial night,
As we sleep to burn the red
From our bloodless lives.
Tonight we're all time bombs
on fault lines.

Have we lost everything now?
We're walking
like each other's ghosts
Around these silent streets
(the sedatives tell you everything
is alright)

Like calendars dying
at New Year's Eve parties
As we kiss hard on the lips
and swear this year
will be better then the last
JET BLACK- the ink that spells your name
JET BLACK- The blood that's in your veins
We say, "How long can we take this chance not to celebrate?"

There's music playing
But we dance to the beat
Of our own black hearts
And draw diagrams
Of suicide on each other's wrists
Then trace them with razorblades

Fire to flames
"Strike Match."

Burn these words from our lips
As 'The Daggar' screams
"Love is dead"
and it's a "newspaper tragedy,"

Have we lost what we love?
Have we said everything?
Does it change anything?
Stare at the clock
Avoid at all costs,
This emptiness.

Ten seconds left
until midnight
nine chances to drown ourselves
in black hair dye
eight faces turned away
from the shock:
seven windows and six of them
were locked
five stories falling
forever and ever
three cheers to the mirror
now there are two of us
can we have one last dance?

JET BLACK- the ink that spells your name
JET BLACK- The blood that's in your veins
How long can we take this chance not to celebrate life?

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::the artist in the ambulance by thrice::

-*sigh*-

Well church was aiight today but... ok this has nothing to really do with church, but some of the things my mom says are hurtful to me = Like "Oh I can't beleive you went out of your way to get all your friends something for their birthdays and Christmas. While they don't even say 'happy birthday' or get you a card!" I've told my mom over and OVER again that they said they would but damnit! She just won't listen! It's not her money or anything so why is she freaking out on me?!?! grrr.... just really pisses me off and wish she'd back off... I mean, sure it sucks that like only four people wished me happy b-day... but... meh ¬¬ Even if none of my friend "pay me back" and get me something I'll still prolly get 'em something for their b-days and next Christmas ya know? I got my friends stuff 'cause I honestly love them. Not so they can get me something. meh well time to goto bed...

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::the greatest fall of all time by matchbook romance::

"I'm trying to get this right. Yeah, 'cause I'm ridiculous like that."

-So Long 2003-

Well I was gonna try and go into this huge in-depth thing of the things I'll always remember in 2003, but I decided I'll just jot 'em down as they pop into my head ^^¿

Getting into shape, lotsa punk/ska/emo music, IMing, talking on the phone late into the night, having buckets of rain pour down in Silverwood, getting my head shaved at camp, Portland, all night Xbox party, malling with friends, a couple weddings, ZSF, 89.9 KGRG, singing for Carmie, singing to Karla's voicemail, Drivers Ed, being without power for 40hrs, "going out" with Kat, Puyallup Fair, IMing Linh outta boredom, PMing Karla on AC (now both are my close friends), my sis Cj, the good talks I've had with Angel, always learning something new after talking with Dawn, listening to Carmie and Angel argue over the phone, talking with behind the counter girls in various places, the great times I've had with my friends, tears, seeing how strong I am, meeting my nanay and some of the family, learning a lil bit of tagalog, eating great Filipino food like halo halo, getting gifts for my friends, PANDAS, writing letters, finding the bestest best friend ever, falling in love, and Carmie ^_~

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woo Christmas is now over and the New Year is next o.o It was pretty nice actually ^^ The morning was nice and relaxing since it was just us... then David and his family came over X_x Glad we opened our gifts before they came over >.> Just to open up more gifts with them ^^¿ David got me two 15lbs weights ^^ so now I can buff up my upper body! He also said my Japanese shirt coulda said "I'm a pimp in Japan." XD Reminds me of another story but anywho... mmm anything else... I tried to get a hold of my nanay 'cause I wanted to wish her Merry Christmas, but I never got to her = Wasn't able to leave a message on her cell so I left one on their home... *sigh* Probably out with family. As long as she's happy I'm happy I guess... But now that Christmas is over there will be after Christmas sales ^.^ Wanna goto the mall so I can get a new jacket. I really don't wanna go alone... I get less shopping done it seems ¬¬

-Weird Dream-

The night before Christmas I dreamt that the phone rang and when I picked it up it was… my nanay! And she said, “Hi Jonathan! Are you busy this weekend?” Me, “No, I don’t think so.” “Do you want to do something together?” “OF COURSE!” “That’s great!” The rest is a blur… Really weird since she sounded really happy talking to me = *sigh* I wish I wasn't so mean to her last time when I said "Oh I guess I called you at a bad time. I'll try again when you're not busy." And just hung up without saying goodbye... I wasn't trying to be mean I was just upset and maybe she took it the wrong way. Wish I could talk with her again...

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::i'll be home for christmas by matchbook romance:: I'll be home for Christmas, You can count on me. Please have snow and mistletoe And presents under the tree. Christmas Eve will find me, Where the love light gleams. I'll be home for Christmas, If only in my dreams. Christmas Eve will find me, Where the love light gleams. I'll be home for Christmas, If only in my dreams. What can I say? KGRG was playing Christmas songs XD

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