i havent started my period .. im 10 days late.. omg omg omg NOT AGAIN.

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rawrrr.... im soooo rawrrr.... u hurt it, u hurt it badddddddd

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last night i went to jboys house and brought over a cinderella story .. so yeah, we watched that and yeah it was great... haha i swears i love that movie, im like a lil kid n shit .. but newaise .. after that we hella started laughign, for no reason.. maaahh goodness, like the good ol days.. LOL .. uhm yeah im in class & umm we have a sub .. and umm he talks a lot.. and fucking th epeople in teh calss were talkin shit bout CHINO.. okay i dont go to chino nemore but i still got lvoe.. n then umm..t hey wus talkin bout how chno girls live in the gHETTO & are SLUTS.. biiitchh.... i am soo not that.. wooowww..so ghey!! those white girls man... they dont even know.. OKAIS BYE!

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i kno what i have to do .. and imma do it.

end of story.

seventeen months ago, it woulda still been YOU & ME ... <3

nt nigguhs 4 life.

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i have talked to rydell OVER & OVER about my situation. i tell him what I want but how I dont know about this and that. I keep telling him that im not happy with pehnger right now & that ive been much happier with j... and rydell reallie understands, he knows tht im in the middle of this and that if i dont do something soon .. something is going to go wrong and im going to end up with NONE of them .. the thing is, i dont know why! I was so happy with 2peh and then jason came back into my life .. it was so hard getting over jason .. i used to cry my eyeballs out just because I missed him so much ... but when 2peh came into my life i was so happy ... now that hes my boyfriend and whatever, things are really different.. like we barely talk .. and we fought for the first time the other day and i cried, but it was cryijg because he hurt me.. it was more like crying cause I felt so alone, like I cant even talk to 2peh, he doenst seem really boyfriend material? or... rather... BEST FRiEND material? -- and then it alked to jaosn and he knew automatically somethnig was wrong.. like wow.. how do u do those kinda things... and gosh I dont know, jason is my best frined.. i miss him.. i really do.. hes the best thing thats ever happend to me.. but i dont want to wonder "WHAT IF" i dont want to wonder "what if i stay with 2peh.." "what if jason hurts me agen.." what if .. what if.. what if.. I DONT WANNA LIVE LIKE THAT!!! -- and gosh I hate living two seperate lives...i have like a life with jason and this life is happy and joking and everything it was before.. nd with 2peh i have happiness sometimes;alkfmjsa;lkf and GOSH!!! id ont knooooooooow... ok enuff. bye

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2peh fucking made me cry last night .. fuck that! he rushed my ass .. hella .. he wus like "so u gonna b quiet now?? --u dunno? -- youre not gonna talk? -- youre gona b quiet now?" n i said YEAH I AM.... i told rydell & he sed i dont need that shit.. i dindt even do nething.. its not mai fault i cant talk to my "boyfriend"-- rawr. I wnated the other half to sleep over but it started to rain really hard so i wasn't about to drive in the rain. He made me spill the beans... he always knows when something is wrong ... and he knows how to get me to talk ... and its really easy for me to talk now .. errr .. i miss him ... i really do ... im jus soo confused. ;\ newaise, im here in class .. still bummed out cause of last night ... he callld me this mornin but it wus whatevhs, i didnt talk much ...didnt calll him babe ... whatevhs.

im stuck between the future & the past... i love him.

I've learned to never underestimate.. the impossible

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