i have talked to rydell OVER & OVER about my situation. i tell him what I want but how I dont know about this and that. I keep telling him that im not happy with pehnger right now & that ive been much happier with j... and rydell reallie understands, he knows tht im in the middle of this and that if i dont do something soon .. something is going to go wrong and im going to end up with NONE of them .. the thing is, i dont know why! I was so happy with 2peh and then jason came back into my life .. it was so hard getting over jason .. i used to cry my eyeballs out just because I missed him so much ... but when 2peh came into my life i was so happy ... now that hes my boyfriend and whatever, things are really different.. like we barely talk .. and we fought for the first time the other day and i cried, but it was cryijg because he hurt me.. it was more like crying cause I felt so alone, like I cant even talk to 2peh, he doenst seem really boyfriend material? or... rather... BEST FRiEND material? -- and then it alked to jaosn and he knew automatically somethnig was wrong.. like wow.. how do u do those kinda things... and gosh I dont know, jason is my best frined.. i miss him.. i really do.. hes the best thing thats ever happend to me.. but i dont want to wonder "WHAT IF" i dont want to wonder "what if i stay with 2peh.." "what if jason hurts me agen.." what if .. what if.. what if.. I DONT WANNA LIVE LIKE THAT!!! -- and gosh I hate living two seperate lives...i have like a life with jason and this life is happy and joking and everything it was before.. nd with 2peh i have happiness sometimes;alkfmjsa;lkf and GOSH!!! id ont knooooooooow... ok enuff. bye

Relationships SUCK....
but if you can figure out what you want from it... you'll be better off... even though i'm in a relationship...long term and happy... i am the worlds biggest advocate of staying single.... there's a lot of stuff you can't do as part of a couple...
» Kahne_Earnhardt_Fan on 2004-10-21 02:52:41

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